111: Andres Valencia | Why Every Coach Needs a Coach

Andres Valencia, Founder of Deliberate Breakthroughs and the Live Life Deliberately movement, is committed to supporting high achieving professionals and entrepreneurs prioritize themselves to match their business’ success to their relationships, energy, and excitement. His goal is to support these individuals to build a life filled with possibilities, meaning, purpose, and joy on their own terms.

In this episode, Andres explains why every coach needs a coach and talks about how people build their success on self-sacrifice but fail to realize the impact when they put themselves first. Andres also shares the importance of feeling our feelings all the way through their completion. Check it out!

Andres’ Learning Journey and Masterminds

 

The Mastermind Effect:  02:43

Let’s dive into this. When you and I were younger, our learning and our ability to learn has drastically changed, and what we have access to really at the end of the day. When we’re younger, they were textbooks, teachers, friends, family, and co-workers, but that’s a sliver of what’s possible. How is your learning changed from your early years versus today?

 

Andres Valencia:  03:02

I want to say that I’ve been getting more efficient at it. So times have changed. I’m of the age where I have been told when you grow up, and you will not be carrying a calculator in your pocket, you need to do math by heart. Today, we all have a smartphone that is capable of doing the most complex math, and we have access to a whole bunch of information at our fingertips.

 

How has my learning changed over the years? I’m at an age where I have recognized what it is that I’m good at and what it is that I’m not good at. So I like to call those people who complement my skills and say, “Hey, can we get together to do X, Y, and Z?” It makes it way more fun because I am a people person.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  03:58

There’s a key thing you’re able to get out of your own way. What you’re good at and what you’re not, you surround yourself with those people you can trust to help you get around a corner. Why learn something that you’re not good at? Let alone that you don’t have to when you can have resources of people around you.

 

Andres Valencia:  04:17

There is value in knowing what you’re not good at so that when that person that does it for you is no longer there, you still know how to do it. For example, as a business owner, I know my processes to share them with somebody else when the person I’m working with wins the lottery and takes off to a sunny island with palm trees.

The Mastermind Effect:  05:10

We were talking about people and how we learn what we can take in.  I think there’s more way to take in information than ever before, and to me, it’s confusing. There are all these platforms and all these places that you can go. Some people look for a mentor, an accountability buddy, a mastermind, a coach, online courses, and lots of ways to learn. Who are you currently learning from? And how did you find them?

 

Andres Valencia:  05:38

I am a coach.  I truly believe that every coach needs a coach. So I surround myself with coaches that helped me become a better version of myself.  There are two types of coaches. The coaches that say, “Hey, I’ll teach you what has worked for me. And then you get to reverse engineer it.” I don’t think that’s actual coaching. Then there are the people who say, “You know what, I see your greatness, and I’m going to hold you to it, even though you do not see your own greatness yet.” That’s the type of people that I like to surround myself with.

 

Andres Valencia:  06:20

I am working with Ceyhun and Preston.  They are my mentors. I’m also part of the leadership team of one of their companies, Kaboom. So those are people that I’m working with and I surround myself with, which is amazing. Learning to grow from people who are ahead of the game, that’s part of what it is. I surround myself with people who are somewhere where I believe I want to go, whether in their business, in their leadership ability, or in how they create connections.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  06:59

We learn from others’ experiences, people who are actually in the trenches, they’re experiencing it, and they haven’t been removed so far from it. Those are some of the best people to learn from. I’m not saying we can’t learn from historians and Socrates and all these other amazing people, but learning from someone that’s actually in the bushes or the trenches right now is one of the best ways out there. I’m flying out Friday to learn from someone and spend a few hours with them because, as they put it, we can do a lot more in a few hours face to face than over zoom.

 

Talking about people, I think we get stuck sometimes, and we don’t know how to execute what’s in our heads. We’re still going through a pandemic, and to me, it’s causing a reset and how we can accomplish things. How have masterminds helped you when you’re looking to get unstuck and out of your own way?

 

Andres Valencia:  07:53

The idea of a mastermind, in my understanding, has two different definitions. First, there’s the idea of let’s get like-minded people together who want to accomplish a similar goal, which is let’s get a group of coaches together, who want to accomplish the similar goal of growing their practice, and they hold each other accountable.

 

Then there’s the other idea: let’s get people with different backgrounds, who perhaps all are business owners, and get them together and have them learn from each other because there is the benefit of cross-pollination. There is the benefit of diversity. Diversity is a hot topic these days, but if you look at the research, right, and you look at the results, more diverse teams are more successful. They’re more impactful. So looking at various industries and putting those groups of people together, we’ve got a lot of creativity, or just a different way of doing things that is the standard in this industry, but not the standard in the other industry. We get to learn from each other. That’s the cool part of masterminds. It’s seeing something that has been done and working in other industries that I can apply in my industry or in somebody else’s life that I can apply in my life.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  09:05

Which one do you prefer: people from all different backgrounds or everyone that comes from the same background? Where do you feel that you get more value out of?

 

Andres Valencia:  09:16

I have done both. There is value in both, depending on where you are. I’ll throw a cliche out there. I think it’s an important one: doing the right thing at the wrong time is incredibly expensive. I think there’s a value for both. If I’m still in the infancy of my business, it might be valuable to have a pod where I can be held accountable and do the other group. Once I’ve got more secure footing, and I’ve got something to contribute, which is where I’m at in my business, the mastermind that comes from a diverse background makes a lot of sense. I’m not against or in favor of either one, but there is a right place and a time for both.

 

Self-Education and Andres’ Role

 

The Mastermind Effect:  10:10

You can do the right thing in the wrong order or do the right thing and still have a bad outcome. But it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do it again. It just depends on that order and the timing. There’s a lot of variables. Sometimes when we do the right thing, and we get a poor outcome, we’re like, “Well, I can’t do that.” But that’s why when you surround yourself with a coach or mastermind, they can sit there be like, “No, no, no, this happens,” or “tweak these few things.” That’s the amazing thing when it comes to mastermind.

 

Masterminds have been around for a while. The first mastermind was probably the apostles. And then, from there, Benjamin Franklin created something called the Judo Club or the Leather Apron Club. And then Napoleon Hill writes a book on it and rounds it out what a mastermind is. So, as there continues to be a large boom in self-education, where do you see the parallels going between self-education and standardized education?

 

Andres Valencia:  11:04

I love the question, and I’m going to have to dig deeper into it. How do you define standardized education?

 

 

The Mastermind Effect:  11:15

Education, college, university versus self-education, coaching, and masterminds.

 

Andres Valencia:  11:21

I’m 42 now, so it’s been 20 years since I graduated. Even back then, in the Netherlands, there was already the idea of the parallels of a mastermind. I studied marketing, but I got together with other people studying different disciplines within my college. We ran groups and did things together. So perhaps the university that I attended was different, but there was already a large responsibility that was put on me to share my own experience.

 

This idea of self-education is okay. Where is it that I want to go? What are my gaps? How am I going to bridge those gaps? And what is it that I need? There is so much out there, with many different platforms, but it puts the responsibility on the individual to take care of that. Now, as a provider of education and someone who guides others in that, it puts a responsibility on me to offer value, to offer practical things that are applicable, and that integrity can guide people

 

The Mastermind Effect:  12:40

It’s interesting that your experience 20 years ago went to a different university, and coming from a different background than mine. Our experiences are different in how universities in the Netherlands versus colleges over here did things.

 

I still think at the end of the day, if you want to be a doctor, a nurse, or an engineer, I want you to have that piece of paper. If you’re going to be in marketing and sales in computer, electronic, or any of that area, is a quarter-million dollars worth of debt? Is it worth the investment? Or could you shorten that gap and get a better ROI on yourself by learning from those who are doing it?

 

Andres Valencia:  13:27

Does it have to cost a quarter of a million dollars? This is the question that I would ask first? Again, we have different experiences because we were brought up in different countries. Yeah. It’s evolved. So if your question specifically is around education in the United States, I’ve done my MBA here, which cost me a sweet Penny. The cost of education in this country, there’s a tremendous bubble, in my opinion. I’m not the only one who says that around the cost of education.

 

What’s the return on that investment? I think that’s a good question, and there are a few things that play into that. So there is this standardized education of going to college and see what that looks like. But there’s also the potential of the individual and let’s take it at a different level. What’s handwritten on their soul? What is it that they are here to do? How do they equip themselves to create that? I know that sounds a little bit vague, but a lot of the work I do with my clients has to do with purpose with why am I here on this planet? I do not subscribe to the idea that everyone needs a bachelor’s degree. What that has done for this country is that everyone can get a bachelor’s degree, but there are various levels of what a bachelor’s degree means. If you get a bachelor’s degree from a university that is not known versus an Ivy League, there’s it’s got completely different value to me. Being Dutch makes zero sense.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  15:00

I think the wave will continue to move in the direction of where we are valuing that. What is the ROI? Typically, when someone invests in their future, they have a better than a vague idea of what’s the outcome supposed to be. What should people expect when they decide to invest in you, in themselves, and work with Andres?

 

Andres Valencia:  15:22

The people that I work with are typically leaders in corporate. A lot of my clients have built their success on self-sacrifice. They’re good at business, but they realize that they haven’t had a relationship. They haven’t prioritized having a relationship for years or haven’t prioritized seeing the doctor for years. I help them put themselves first. I help them first to acknowledge what it is that they want, how it is that they contribute value, and what brings them joy in what they do. I help them create a vision that gets them excited and rooted in possibilities rather than what they believe is expected of them or rooted in the ego because our ego’s job is to keep us safe. The ego does that by trying to keep things the same. So when we talk about creating a vision rooted in possibilities, the ego starts screaming and thinks you are trying to kill me. I am not in the camp that believes that the ego needs to be killed. The ego has a role, but it needs to be put at ease. There are ways that I do that.

 

What people can expect from working with me is creating a vision that excitements, whether for an individual or a team. Then the ability to create the action steps to realize that vision. Typically, what happens is they have an action plan but then, in the execution, the moment that we’ve created an action plan, and everything goes as planned, the action plan wasn’t challenging enough, or the goal wasn’t challenging enough. So things go wrong. That’s where coaching comes into play because we hit a roadblock, and we need to determine if we break through that roadblock or go around it? Is this the moment we say what we got to readjust our goal and make things a little bit differently? And that’s where one-on-one coaching comes into play so that they reach that objective.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  17:29

It started making me think that many people build their success on self-sacrifice, but you’re helping them put themselves first and continue that success. When you have the right people in the right order around you, you can work the same amount of hours and have a higher output. Let’s say you work from nine to noon. You realize what you can accomplish when you get rid of the things in your glass that don’t serve you and are actually helping move the needle and then replacing them with a better version of what that was. Because when you take something out of that proverbial glass, you got to be careful what you put back in. You put something close to ideal that’s worse than what you just got rid of. Learning how you don’t have to sacrifice your relationships, health, yourself, and the people around you; that’s why people come to Andres. The outcome is not magical, but it’s like, “Oh, my gosh, where has this been? Why have I not been doing that?”

 

You work with corporate America. You work with entrepreneurs and with people across the board. If you wouldn’t mind sharing a success story of someone who came to you and the outcome because they came to you. If you can use names and examples, that’s great. If not, we can go from there.

 

 

 

Andres Valencia:  18:52

I just wrapped up this engagement last February with this 38 years old leader. He had gotten into leadership, working his tail off many hours, and felt that the entire responsibility lay on his shoulders instead of leveraging his team. The first time that I met with him, I noticed that he wasn’t present in the room. He was physically present, but mentally, he wasn’t there. I shared that with him. I held up the mirror, and I said, “It looks like you’re not here. Where are you at?” And he’s like, “There are so many things that are going on that only I know how to do.” Is it important that you’re the only person who knows how to do that? And his response was, “No, not at all.” what do you want to do with that?  At that moment, he decided that he needed to leverage his team. He was a new leader in this role and felt that he had to earn his key by doing it all himself.

 

We worked on, one, elevating his leadership ability and two, elevating his teams’ leadership ability to take on the responsibility. Over the ten months that we work together, he started working 10 hours a week less and got a 20% raise based on what he did. Overall, he’s got a better relationship with his wife, and he sees his kids more often. His team is more leveraged, so their potential is being used better. They also get raises, and five members of his team got promoted.  All of that, because he just made a choice. The choice was really simple. It was “Am I going to do this all by myself or where I’m going to leverage my team?” And he chose to leverage his team.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  20:40

I always like to put things in numbers, so people don’t just hear like 10 hours. So from an hour standpoint, you gave him 21 full days of their life back, not 21 working days. It almost a month of vacation that he got to put with his family. Then the pay raise, and then the people that rolled up to him that worked with. The compounding factor of what you just said about shifting the mind of “I don’t have to do at all and up-leveling the people around you,” there’s got to be a price point on that. I don’t know if you ever thought about the 21 days you gave him back, but that’s what that 10 hour is.

 

Andres Valencia:  21:33

I love the way of looking at that. I hadn’t done that math in that way, but it makes a lot of sense.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  21:42

It’s time back. I appreciate you sharing that with me. That excites me because time back with yourself or with your family is the one thing we can’t control.

 

Andres Valencia:  21:54

That’s where the value is. A lot of my clients do things that really excite them. So the time that they spend has a higher quality to it. And often they have more time for themselves to spend in whatever way they want to. That’s where the value is, and I agree that it is priceless.

 

 

 

Defining Success

 

The Mastermind Effect:  22:14

 I’ve got to talk to my coach. He gave me 14, and it was probably around October, November. He gave me 14 days of my full life back by shifting some things around. Andre is over here, and he’s getting 21 days. More coaches give you more time back. So take it for what it’s worth.

 

On the solo shows, we talked about success, the pillars of success, and what it takes to be successful. And a few of those items are mentorship, experimentation, partnerships, willingness to fail, and on the flip side, willingness to define success. When we define success, we have an essence to define failure, and that’s why you don’t see many people defining success to them. What do you feel is a key attribute when it comes to being successful?

 

Andres Valencia:  23:07

You shared a lot of them. For me, the key attribute at this moment is to define what I stand for and what I don’t stand for. What is it that I do want? What is it that I don’t want? So having that clarity and saying this is the experience that I want to have and getting clear on what that is. Because the moment that I say yes to something, I’m also saying no to something else. I was getting really clear on what I want to say no to so that I can say yes.

 

I said no to something that was a spectacular opportunity. My head was full yes, but my body was, “No, don’t do it.” So accessing the wisdom of my body is something that I have learned in a tremendous way as guidance. I could say in full confidence, “I am not going to do this wonderful opportunity. I can’t articulate in my mind why what’s going to replace that. But I’m trusting that this is not right for me at this moment.”

 

The Mastermind Effect:  24:12

I can tell you, even for myself, there are times where I’ll say yes to stuff, and I realize what I put at stake right there by saying yes. There are tremendous opportunities out there that we have to say no to because sometimes we’re stretching ourselves too thin. Sometimes you just have to say no, even if it’s for the right reason, and it’s for something that can help move the needle. Sometimes you just got to say no and see what else comes your way.

 

Andres Valencia:  24:45

There’s this cool analogy that I heard just last night, but it makes complete sense. When you are in a relationship, and it doesn’t work out, and you’re “Okay, I think there’s something better out there,”; you first have to end the first one, at least to have integrity. That’s how I’ve done it my life. So I know that there are different ways out there. But for me to sleep at night, I have to end the first relationship, make space, and lick my wounds so that I can step into the next relationship. You have to make space so that you’re open to say yes to the next thing.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  25:23

I know we were talking about relationships there. But you can take it from business, personal, or whatever it is. You’re carrying baggage, but you don’t want to carry the worst of your baggage when it comes to that next level of relationship, partnership, business partnership, and whatever that is.

 

In times of prosperity, the winds just kind of flow come in a lot easier. But I think ingenuity and creativity come when we feel the squeeze. The world is still feeling some form of a squeeze. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excites you?

 

Andres Valencia:  26:01

I was born in the Netherlands. Both my parents are from Chile. My first language is Spanish. So what I’m working on right now that excites me is speaking of masterminds, joining forces with several thought leaders in the Latin American/ American community. Thought leaders and personal development are the Hispanic backgrounds to service that group because no thought leader speaks that language and gets the cultural background. That is something that I’m incredibly excited about. I think there’s both a tremendous opportunity. There’s a market there, and there’s a need.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  26:50

I talked about it in one of my other companies. I sit there and say there’s a huge gap in the Spanish-speaking Latino community and all different industries. There’s a huge gap in what’s available across the board. So I love hearing that. I hear a platform out there called The Success Finder that can also translate everything into Spanish. You might want to have an inside track on how that goes right there. So I have

 

Andres Valencia:  27:22

I have been thinking about you as we talk about events and stuff like that. I have been thinking about the Success Finder.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  27:28

Last one, what is a tip, a tactic, or an actual item that if anyone listening to this now implemented this over the next 30, 60, or 90 days, they’d see a real impact on their personal or business life?

 

Andres Valencia:  27:46

My clients learn from me how to feel their feelings all the way through to completion. I shared earlier how it is that I access the wisdom of my body. I know that sounds unusual. Let me put it that way. I think that a lot of men have the idea that we’re not supposed to have feelings, or if we have them, we’re not supposed to share them, except anger and joy.

 

I help all my clients feel their feelings all the way through to completion. I have a very easy six-step process that I learned from the Conscious Leadership group. It’s on my website, and you can download it. It’s understanding that every single emotion, the feeling that happens in our body, comes up, it reaches its peak, and then dissipates if we allow it to happen so that we can access the wisdom from that emotion.

 

There are different trains of thoughts. But one train of thought says that there are five core emotions: fear, anger, sadness, joy, and sexual or creative feelings. Each of these has wisdom in them. The wisdom in fear is, “something’s about to change. I need to be on alert.” The wisdom in anger is “a boundary that has been crossed that needs to be rectified, needs to be set straight, or something is no longer of service, and it needs to be severed or destroyed.” The wisdom in sadness is “something needs to be said goodbye to.” The wisdom of joy is “something needs to be celebrated.” And the wisdom in sexual or creative feelings is “something needs to be burst a lot of creativity, or there’s something in the air that wants to come out.” When they access and feel those feelings all the way through to completion, my clients feel better in their bodies, experience less pain and more clarity as to what it is that they want to do

 

The Mastermind Effect:  29:47

That’s something you need to re-listen and rewind. You said they’re able to access that for free on your website. Is that correct? I know it’ll be in the show notes but give them that website again so they can look at that because I think it’s really important what you just said. They need to dive into that a little bit deeper.

 

Andres Valencia:  30:04

The website again is www.deliberatebreakthroughs.com.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  30:13

We have got the Founder of Deliberate Breakthroughs, Andres Valencia. Thank you so much.

Tweetable Quotes:

“I surround myself with people who are somewhere where I believe I want to go, whether that is in their business, in their leadership ability, in the way that they create connections.” – Andres Valencia

“If you look at the research, and you look at the results, more diverse teams are more successful, they’re more impactful.” – Andres Valencia

“I am not in the camp that believes that the ego needs to be killed; the ego has a role. But the ego does need to be put at ease.” – Andres Valencia

“Sometimes you just got to say no and see what else comes your way.” – Brandon Straza

“You have to be able to make space so that you’re open to say yes to the next thing.” – Andres Valencia

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Andres on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and Clubhouse. Check out their website https://deliberatebreakthroughs.com/ 

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

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