124: Ryan Smith | Separating Emotions From Experiences

Ryan Smith is the founder of The Advisor, where he uses his mental performance skills to help executives, entrepreneurs, and professional athletes take their careers to the next level.

In this episode, he talks about working on your business versus working in your business. He also explains to us how he helps his clients understand the current sphere of an already existing network and dives into how we are able to separate our emotions from our specific experiences throughout our life. Check it out!

Ryan Smith’s Learning Journey and Masterminds

 

The Mastermind Effect:  02:24

Let’s jump into it. Our ability to learn and access people had drastically changed over the last 5 to 10 years. When you and I were younger, they were textbooks, teachers, friends, family, parents, and co-workers, but that’s a sliver of what is possible. How has your learning changed from your early years versus today?

Ryan Smith:  02:46

I went the traditional route of a college education. I was trying to go into computer science and engineering, and I  ended up going into physical education and got a master’s degree in exercise science. That’s the whole education thing. And then there’s this whole world of certifications. It’s about egos and baseline education that people use for marketing.

I’ve spent 30 years working through different things. It becomes how do I dive into something and integrate this into my life. I learned probably ten years out of school that I had no idea of actually how money flowed and money work. So I became a stockbroker for ten years, and I was a compliance officer. I was a registered options principal. I traded things, and I did the compliance part of it. I had to understand how money flowed. I also worked with high-net-worth individuals. It’s like the people that had millions of dollars in there and working with them. Understanding how they worked with money was probably the game-changer more than college could ever do for me for the way money worked.

The Mastermind Effect:  04:10

He kind of goes back to the opening line of what I say we learn through other people’s experiences. That’s what it sounds like how you were able to get a wrap-around of how money flow, where it began, how it was created, what to do with it, and then kind of go from there. Do you still take those life lessons and utilize that in what you do today?

Ryan Smith:  04:28

Absolutely. I had entrepreneurial parents. They owned small businesses, or small businesses owned them. I knew that I didn’t want to necessarily, like always, work for a corporation. I learned that independence from them, but I didn’t know how all the aspects of it worked, not just to be small. So I needed to learn how the people that thought bigger knew how to think bigger. Those lessons were huge. They’ve added up over the years. They play hugely into what I do, how I advise, and how I work with people.

The Mastermind Effect:  05:32

You mentioned something that stood out to me: they either own small businesses or small businesses owned them. That’s something that I’ve realized over the last couple of years.  You either work on your business, or you work in your business. Can you differentiate that from your own family life experiences

working “on” versus “in”?

Ryan Smith:  05:34

The “in” is where you go in, and you’re trading that time for dollars. Whether you are an employee or the owner who goes into the does the job every day,  you’re paying yourself. You may own the business, but you are the employee of the business. The ups and downs of the business all have that effect on you. But there’s not the freedom that most people want out of owning a business.

Whereas, if you’re working “on”  your business, you’re doing things that are actually helping you to apply it, to grow it,  to learn from it, and to change it to whatever you need to do versus you just trading the time for dollars in your business.

The Mastermind Effect:  06:22

It’s a lesson that business owners across the board take time to learn, and sometimes, “hey, you might have to step back in that business.” And that’s okay. The quicker you can get working on the business; you can make a bigger impact and not be an employee of what you’ve built. I love that you delve a little bit deeper for that on there.

We’ve got more ways to take in information than ever before. Some people learn from mentors, masterminds, coaches, accountability partners, and online courses. Lotts of ways to learn. Who are you currently learning from, and more importantly, how did you connect with them?

Ryan Smith:  07:03

One of the biggest people I’m learning from and who has been the biggest influence recently on me is our mentor, Steve Sims. That’s how we connected at the Speakeasy. That one went back to his book, following Joe Polish and following several other influencers of people who have influenced me in business and got me to think bigger. I picked up his book when it first came out because of them. I have an original hard-bound version of the book, but I put it on the shelf. I didn’t read it. It wasn’t time until that for me to read that book yet. Then when I picked up the book, I read it, and I immediately reread it. Then I immediately regretted it again because there were so many things between the words that he said resonated with me. It was the attitudes, the thinking, and all of those things, versus here’s the strategies of how you become successful. That resonated with me and drove me into that rabbit hole that is the Speakeasy life and connecting with people like you.

I love the mind, the neuroscience, the brain, like understanding how we think, why we think, how we influence, how we manipulate all of those things, and influence manipulation is two sides of the same coin. So Chase Hughes is a 20 year former Naval Intelligence Officer. He wrote several books, and one’s called the Ellipsis Manual. It is about how you read body language, how you influence people, and how you change people. He would have to work with getting people to literally go against their country to commit treason in an hour or less.  You would have to have those kinds of conversations, and these are life or death situations. So how do you work with these people, change them, and get them to do something they normally wouldn’t do? So understanding how the brain works, how cults work, and all of this stuff that goes, how do you use all this information to help people change?

The Mastermind Effect:  09:20

A common theme that comes back is when you know who you’re working with and networking with, it’s almost like you digest something that they’ve done.  Then you continue to do that because of the impact that it makes. Then you reach out to that person. We’ll get into the accessibility of people and why it’s so much easier today. If you’re involved in their world and what they’re doing and vice versa, they’ll end up involved in your world in some form or fashion.

Ryan Smith:  09:53

Absolutely. I think that’s one of the biggest misconceptions about mentors. Mentors are not people that you necessarily typically pay to help you. Mentors are somebody that you have added enough value that they’re willing to invest in you, and their ROI is your success, versus having somebody that is a business coach, advisor, or whatever that is and that’s somebody that you’re investing in so that you get an ROI. There’s a distinction between having a mentor and adding value to get that from them and to learn from them versus actually just saying, “Hey, teach me what you need, and teach me what I need to do to change.”

The Mastermind Effect:  10:34

I think both have their areas. I’ve had mentors for decades but realized the coaching and the mastermind world last few years.

A lot of people get stuck, and they don’t know how to execute what’s in their heads. We’re still going through a pandemic. So I feel that is allowing for a reset in how we’re able to accomplish things. How have masterminds helped you when you’re looking to reset yourself, and how do you get unstuck?

Ryan Smith:  11:07

I was involved in some masterminds, like maybe 2009 to 2013, that were really just certifications. But I met some awesome people that were in there that I still have lifelong relationships with, right. So the mastermind himself back in that day we’re not necessarily the thing that impacted me. It was the people that were impacted me. And the same thing now,  it’s the education I can get that’s in a mastermind, but again, it’s the relationships of the people around me that I built. That is the absolute most valuable thing that I can get out. The connection that you and I have and the connection that several other people and I’ve developed from the speakeasy we are at and other masterminds are lifelong relationships that I continue to build. I’ve never been one of those people that build huge relationships over a long period of time, but I do pick very specific ones that are impactful in my life, and I get to be impactful in their life, too.

Self-Education and Ryan’s Experience

 

The Mastermind Effect:  12:09

That’s a big thing you just said, “they’re impactful in your life, and you can be impactful in their life.” It’s a symbiotic relationship. Sometimes it’s 60-30, 70-30, or 60- 40. But it’s important to make sure that it’s a two-way street.

Speaking of masterminds, they’ve been around for a while; probably the first one was the apostles. Then Benjamin Franklin creates the Judo Club or the Leather Apron Club. And then Napoleon Hill solidifies it and writes a book centering on what masterminds are. There continues to be such a large boom in self-education. Where do you see the parallels going between self-education versus standardized education?

Ryan Smith:  13:00

It’s almost, in some ways, goes back to the pre-University days of apprenticeships. It’s standardized education versus formal education. Formal education may be an apprenticeship. If you’re going to be a carpenter, here’s how we do it. If you’re going to be a business owner, here’s how we do it. Many times in that standardized education of the university setting, you have people teaching it that may or may not have been out in the world to do it. So it’s here’s how in we’ve got the list, here’s how we’ve done it, here’s the research studies of how we do it but yet, we’ve never applied it. So I think it is applied versus standardized.

The Mastermind Effect:  13:48

Typically, when someone invests in their future, they’ve got a better than a vague idea of what the outcome could be. What should people expect when they start working with you and enter Ryan’s reality?

Ryan Smith:  14:16

There are a few things that are going to happen with them. Number one, they’re going to understand the people around them and the people in their sphere of influence because that will be one of the big keys to their success. Do those people in their sphere of influence have their best interest in mind?

We see it a lot of times in professional athletes. They’ll have professional athletes that are now making big chunks of money. Then you’re going to see the people that are in that surrounding are people that really come and trying to live off of that person’s influence in the fact that they’ve got big chunks of money. Are they helping them do the right thing to grow and to be better? Do we have the right people in there that are really pushing them to be better and helping them grow? Looking at the personal advisors in there, whether it’s financial advisors, attorneys, or whatever it is, guiding them in the right direction. If they found the ones that are like cutting corners and doing the things that are, while they may grow for a period of time, it’s going to come back to bite them in the bud at some point time.

The Mastermind Effect:  15:41

If I’m understanding that, you’re taking what their current sphere is and helping them explain if we have challengers, cheerleaders, or crabs and what order they need to be in, what you need to get rid of them, and what you might want to bring in?

Ryan Smith:  15:55

Exactly. That’s partly looking at the body language, looking at what the people are saying and the linguistics of it. So that’s a big part of what it is. Part of it is also we have these traumas. We talked about the military with PTSD and all of that. We all have traumas. We are all wearing a mask. We are all in some ways, I don’t like to say broken, but we all have damage. No matter who it is, and we’re all trying to hide that stuff.

Until we address it and overcome a lot of it, whatever those things are, we were not going to do it. That’s some neuroscience, psychology, and hypnosis. I’ve got a background in hypnosis as well. So it’s like, how do we take those skills and help you to overcome those things that are holding you back?

The Mastermind Effect:  17:05

I feel that people have a way of surprising us from time to time, whether it’s their willingness to learn, their ingenuity, their grit, or the grind. Give us a success story of someone that’s worked with you. What was the outcome because of that partnership and that coaching relationship when they came to you?

Ryan Smith:  17:26

This is a little bit off from that. I’m just going to talk about this. This happened just a couple of weeks ago. I was sitting in a room with another friend who does a lot of body language stuff. She does search and rescue stuff with dogs and works with police departments. We’re sitting in a room, and a canine officer came into the room with a weather dog. We’re all talking, and in the process of just this conversation, it came up that this officer, the sheriff’s deputy, has a lot of trouble sleeping. It came up that she had this trauma that was actually where an uncle had murdered his brother’s wife and the daughter. Such a huge trauma. She was one of the responders that were on this—even though she didn’t have children of her own, she had to be part of the scene of horrific things. It was a couple of years ago.

Since then, she’s had horrible nightmares, as you can imagine. Every time she talks about it, she relives it. She is fully feeling everything that’s happened there. She can see it, feel it, touch it, smell it, hear it, and all of those things. We were talking about that, and I just went down to a  series a couple of questions. We hit on some of those feelings in some control mindset way. I hate the word mindset, by the way, we’ll talk about that. Like I physically reached in and pulled this thing out of her right. So she identified it, and she put a color to it. I had her imagine I pulled this thing out, and you just see this wave of just stuff relieve and relief from this sheriff’s deputy.

Then a couple of days later, I had my friend messaged her and said, “how are you sleeping?” She’s like,
“I have not slept that well for consecutive days for the three years since this trauma that’s happened. We allowed her brain to process the fact that this happened. She dealt with it and how do we disassociate the emotion from it. That’s not a normal client thing. That was an impromptu thing that I did for somebody because she was suffering.

The Mastermind Effect:  20:07

I want to set in real quick that if you’re able to work with impromptu per se, and have that kind of an impact on someone that’s been suffering for three years, just think of what Ryan’s able to do on something that is not as complex per se, as the death the murder of a loved one.

You had mentioned something in there about mindset. I’d love for you to go down that a little bit further and explain what you were talking about when you’re just like, mindset.

Ryan Smith:  20:48

Mindset is one of those words, especially in the coaching world, that gets used a lot, right. So you’ve got to have a good mindset or a bad mindset. I don’t know if you notice, but the brain doesn’t work with a set. It doesn’t like, “here’s the thing, here’s this line in the sand, and this is what we’re going to do.” It doesn’t work that way. The brain likes to ebb and flow. The mind wants to be able to change. The human mind and human brain don’t work in binary of we’re on or off. We’re going to constantly change here. I think, linguistically, and the way we think about things, whenever I draw a line in the sand in the brain, it goes, “hmm, watch this.”

The Mastermind Effect:  21:59

It’s going to prove a point here. As I said, there’s no set. You would also talk a little bit about taking the emotion out of action or taking the emotion out of something that happened. For me, I wear my emotions on my sleeve, and sometimes, I wish that just was not the case.

I’m going to put you on the spot a little bit. Walkthrough on how someone’s able to take the emotion out of action, intention, or something that’s happened, if you wouldn’t mind.

Ryan Smith:  22:34

It’s really two parts. So when we have something, say it’s a trauma, and that could be anything. It could be the fact that you failed a quiz in middle school. That could be just as silly as that may sound to most people, but that could be a trauma to somebody versus having other childhood traumas of abuse. So those are all traumas, but they’re in different ways.

When that trauma happens, the easiest way to describe it is our mind takes a snapshot of what that is, what it feels like, and all of the senses that are happening around the trauma. You don’t remember everything that happened in your childhood, but you remember those emotions,  feelings, and all the things.  It looks through life, and every time you go through something, it says, “Wait, does this look like that? Oh, wait, it kind of looks like that. It may not be exact, but we need to make you feel the same way so that we can protect you.” And that’s the emotion that’s attached to the memory.

If it’s the memory thing that we need to protect us, it’s not the emotion necessarily. I want to separate the emotion and the memory. The memory is there to protect you. You get mugged walking down a dark alley. Therefore you don’t walk down a dark alley anymore. But if you see a dark alley on a TV screen, you don’t want that emotion, trauma, and all that stuff to come back. So the memory is there, but I don’t need all the emotion. I don’t need to feel the anxiety of seeing a dark alley on a picture, TV screen, or any of those things. So separate those, process the emotion, and let it go because there’s no time and space for it in the brain.  Let the memory do its thing.

Defining Success

 

The Mastermind Effect:  24:26

You’ve gone a little bit deeper in some of the things, but when you have someone of your caliber and expertise, I want people to hear what it is they’re able to get out of that. I’m getting a lot out of myself selfishly. I’m digging everything you’re saying over here.

We’re getting a little bit closer to the end here. Typically on our solo shows, we talk about the pillars of success. I think there are many different ingredients to be successful like, mentorship, coach, experimentation, partnerships, and willingness to fail. And on the flip side, willingness to succeed, because when you define success, you, in essence, define what failure is.  What do you feel is a key ingredient when it comes to being successful?

Ryan Smith:  25:16

The big part is not being stuck in and inflexible on how you were going to achieve that success. It’s the journey portion of it. Maybe it’s something happens, and I was going to be successful in this one thing, but whatever changed it, I now need to pivot and take that experience that I’ve had and now put it into a new direction. This no longer applies to where I want to go. I’ve learned a new bit of information. So most people get stuck in a paradigm of whatever it is that they think success looks like, and if they don’t achieve it, they’re going to get failure along with that. If they haven’t achieved that specific thing, how do I take that pivot and figure out what my new success looks like?

The Mastermind Effect:  26:08

When times are good, it’s easy to be successful. But the world is still feeling the squeeze, and I think ingenuity and creativity come out of those moments in life. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excites you?

Ryan Smith:  26:35

There are so many things. I never sit down to think about all the things because it’s so organic for me. Over the next 12 months, the thing is continuing to invest in the relationships of the people that I work with and that I am in the masterminds with that I have gone back. I need to reconnect from previous masterminds and previous business things. That connection of those people is the thing that helped me to grow. Another certification might be a base of information, but it’s not the thing that’s really going to help me to grow. It’s the people that helped me to grow.

The Mastermind Effect:  27:14

It’s the people around us. They might not be in the same industry, but the cards that we hold in our hand are so intricate because you can plug and play tiny little things that have made them successful, or a landmine that they’ve stepped on to avoid for yourself, even if they’re in different industries. That’s the power of a mastermind. That’s the power of the people that you choose to be around.

Ryan Smith:  27:37

A lot of people get stuck in a state trying to stay within their own little industry, right. So look outside of your industry, and learn from those people. There are some intelligent people that have some great experiences outside of your industry. Look at them, find them and, and use them to grow to

The Mastermind Effect:  27:54

I can tell you, I stayed inside my industry for so long and just shelter myself because I need to be around the same people to understand the same thing. Probably over 90% of my network, my friends, the people that I’m around have nothing to do with directly something that I’ve built, excluding The Success Finder. That one is growing, but I’m still not in the industry of coaching and masterminds. I’m just surrounding myself with those smarter people because of the impact that it’s able to make personally and professionally.

So one last thing, what is a tip, a tactic, or an actionable item, that if someone listening to this, implemented it over the next 30, 60, or 90 days, they’d see a real impact on their personal or business life?

Ryan Smith:  28:39

We’ve talked about books early on. With books, I think what most people do is they’re like, “Hey, I’m going to go read 100 books this year. I’m going to read 20 books over the next whatever time.”  Instead of trying to figure out how many books I can read, pick one book, and digest it. Read a page, read a section, read something and go and implement it versus just trying to absorb it and just read it and go, “Hey, I know this because I read it in the book.”

If you pick up Chris Voss’s book  Never Split The Difference, there is so much stuff in there on negotiation.  Most people are going to read it, and then they take it. They put it inside and think that they haven’t. There’s so much stuff in there. You need to read it, slow down, think it, take that section, and implement. Integrate it in your life, and then do the same thing. If you can take somebody’s life experience and integrate it versus just read it, it’s a game-changer.

The Mastermind Effect:  29:59

It’s so important if you’re able to take that information and implemented it. Someone that we’ve interviewed before said one of the ways called it the intention intervention gap. It’s like, so I read something great, but how can I plug and play and make that meaningful to what I’m doing around me?

We have got the founder of The Advisor, Ryan Smith. Ryan, thank you so much for what you have instilled in us today and your time. I appreciate it.

Tweetable Quotes:

“When you’re working on the business, you are actually doing things that are helping you to apply it, to grow it, to learn from it, to change it, to whatever it is that you need to do vs. you just trading the time for dollars in your business .” – Ryan Smith 

“It’s not the thing that’s really going to help you to grow, it’s the people that help you to grow.” -Ryan Smith 

Connect with Ryan Smith on Voxer and LinkedIn. Check out his website https://ryansmithadvisor.com/.

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

123: Lydia D. | Quiet Moments that Ignite your Life

Lydia D. is a community leader, master life/leadership coach, speaker, and diversity trainer. She’s had success with her career as an entrepreneur, a mentor, support groups member and president, board member, and president of charity groups. She is also the founder of Enter.Wellness, where she provides thoughtful and engaging executive/life coaching, group coaching, and diversity training services.

Lydia believes that coaching is a helpful way to develop yourself as an executive/person, work through challenges, or live a more focused life. Whether you are looking for diversity training or life or leadership coaching, She will always remain deeply committed to your success, challenge you, remind you of the strength you have, and provide the nurturing structure to help you accomplish more.

In this episode, she gets into why you need to take time for the quiet moments. Lydia explains why she created Enter.Wellness building four companies and retiring. She lets us know how she helps people like Congressmen, leave boxes that were created for them and step outside into the light.

Lydia’s Learning Journey

 

The Mastermind Effect:  03:41

Our ability to learn has changed over the last 5, 10, 15 years. When you and I were younger, it was textbooks, teachers, family, friends, co-workers, and the people around us, but that’s really a sliver of what’s possible. How is your learning changed from your early years versus today?

Lydia D:  03:59

So much, I cannot even express it because a large amount of it is my quiet moment. The time that I take quietly for myself. I do not read until after I’m done with my quiet moment. I do not write until after I’m done with my quiet moment because I understand giving to self first before self can receive you need a clean slate.

However, if we were going to talk about the life we live in now, definitely a large amount of technology like listening to books and reading my iPods. I find that my quiet moment is in nature. Those that I have encountered and that I have a good connection with. Those are my best learning space.

The Mastermind Effect:  04:56

We talked about taking time for yourself. The selfish moments to make yourself whole, to fill your glass, figuratively, with what makes you whole, so when you step into a room or when you step into the light, you’re good. Would you mind indulge us a little bit on those selfish moments and why that’s so important to your learning?

Lydia D:  05:29

Brandon and I talked off-air about being loved, cared for,  do not want to be left out, do not want people not to recognize us,  and do not want people not to see us because we all want to be seen. I said, where we fell in that area because we forget that to be seen, we have to have a certain amount of shininess that glow off of us to be attracted by another energy similar, if not greater than us. What does that mean to me?  There is no such thing as any big power playing out there that does not take the time to do some form of self-care. For me, it’s to wake up at 4:45 each morning. Some mornings, I am not well, but guess what? I will get off the bed, go to the couch to say I’m off to bed.

The Mastermind Effect:  06:39

It’s the tiny steps, but you’re like, I’m up at 4:45. I might not be as successful as you wanted it to be, but you moved. When you’re moving forward, you can’t take a step forward and backward. Our friend of ours recently said that.

Lydia D:  06:52

Some days, all I can do is off the bed to my yoga mat. I am off that bed to keep the mind remember shat would seem when it’s healthy again. For me, it’s to wake up at 4:45 in the mornings to dance. Once I’m done dancing and getting all that energy that goes with me, I do yoga. Then after my yoga, I go straight into meditation. That’s what works for me. For meditation, I journal, and a lot of my inspiration, insights, and creation come from there. Then I read. By 6:30 or 6:45, I’m done shining. There is no touching Lydia because my cup is filled. During that time, I am drinking water. I am hydrating okay. So by 6:30, I am so hydrated that I could spend the rest of the day not drinking, but I still continue to hydrate.

There is no room that I cannot enter for another energy similar or greater not to be attractive to this. They can see the shininess and the work that has been done during that time or that person is doing; therefore, it is attractive.

Lydia’s Multiple Coaches and Mentors

 

The Mastermind Effect:  08:25

That metallic that shines. It’s like adhesive, and it just attracts. You’ve accomplished more before 6:30 than well above average people, and your days are not even halfway over. But getting that energy going is such a key thing.

You had mentioned while we talked about all the different ways you take in information using technology. There are more ways to take in information than ever before, and it can be confusing. It’s almost it’s overwhelming because it’s like, “What platform do I use? Where do I go? Who do I learn from, and I’ve got so many different ways.” Some people use mentors, coaches, masterminds, accountability buddies, and a lot of different ways to learn. Who are you currently learning from right now, and how did you find them?

Lydia D:  09:16

I have several. I don’t know if I can mention his name, but he is in Orange County. He was introduced to me by my father. My father stated to me, “You need a counselor. If ever you cannot talk to me about whatever it may be, you can go to that person.”

I’m going to tell you the rest but to tell you how big this person is. One time I was in the process of making a decision that could have changed the trajectory of my life, he flew in to sit down and talk to me.

The Mastermind Effect:  10:04

Wow. That’s accountability. That’s protection. That’s counsel. That’s a consiglierei. That’s like everything wrapped into one. It’s like everything you could ever imagine having. Lydia made the right choice. But it was because of the people around you; it changed the trajectory of where you’re currently at. Brandon,

Lydia D:  10:31

I am telling you, I can see it’s so much clearer now because it’s been years since. I was on the phone with that person the day before, like an early morning like this. The next day they came because of how much they believed in the impact of the trajectory. I was like this.

The Mastermind Effect:  10:49

This is where you’re at.

Lydia D:  10:50

This is where I am right now. The other person that I look in and follow big time. I don’t know if you’ve heard of the book of Napoleon Hill.

The Mastermind Effect:  11:03

The guy that we might bring up later. He wrote the book and kind of defined masterminds and stuff like that.

Lydia D:  11:17

There is a gentleman that purchases the right to his books.

Lydia D:  11:43

He is someone that I have been following and had the opportunity to meet. It’s very hard for me to find mentors because I feel like I do the work. I am not lazy. I’m continuously looking for work. His first name is Satish, and he is an Indian. I have been following him for years because not only he implements what’s in that book, he met Napoleon hills, and he had one of the original books signed by him. He is one of those people who follow and know some of the things we do not know. He dissects them in a way that entered your brand to where it scarred it, and you cannot remove that scar; it’s in there. I want to be scarred.  I want to be exposed; I want to be scarred, but by those types of people.

Two other people were my mother and my father. They’re no longer here with us. However, they are continuously echoing. I had great parents. Not everybody could say that. They were not perfect. Let’s make that clear. However, I smile when I think of them.  I just smile at what they have gifted me.

It’s extremely hard for me to find those that can match the level of where I vibrate, and it can be lonely. However, I am continuously in a search which is how I find Satish. I find other people to meet where they are, and they can meet me where I am.  It’s extremely hard for me to find those very elevated people that surpass me to where I can be receiving from.

The Mastermind Effect:  14:07

You’d made a comment that they weren’t perfect. Remember this in which I know you believe it. Perfection means you never took off. When they had you, that was a takeoff. Perfection means you never did anything because there’s no set. They created, sculpted, and shaped who you are today, and you’ve continued that.

I appreciate you sharing not only the people that have helped rise around you and shape who you are but just the personal story right there and why you do it.

The Mastermind Effect:  15:17

Talking about yourself, the audience, and the people you work with, I think that we get stuck. Sometimes it’s that mentor, the coach, that helps us get outside of our own head. Over the last year, we went through a pandemic, and it is still going on. But to me, I feel it’s causing a reset in how we can accomplish things. How have masterminds helped you when you’re looking to reset yourself and get unstuck?

Lydia D:  16:00

It has helped me by reminding myself that I need to be flexible. It reminded me by going back to nature, seasons change, nothing stays the same. It reminds me that everything is in a continually evolving state. The only time something is not evolving is when it becomes stagnant, which means death. So if you are in a space where you are continuously moving, it doesn’t matter how big this move is.

Mastermind has taught me to be flexible, go with nature, and go with how things are flowing to as I am making adjustments.  Adjustment is when you’re creating within those spaces that are happening at that moment. So flexibility has been the key for me not to get stuck and stagnant and not attempting or wishing for what was because what was will never be. Be flexible at the moment, learn with the new and be in the state of continuously evolving.

The Mastermind Effect:  17:08

You hear people say what’s the new norm, or when it goes back to normal.  There is no such thing as a new norm or going back to normal. It’s what’s going on right now and what you want to shape for the future. When you can sit there and accept and then work with that, that’s when you grow. That’s when you change, and you surround yourself with the right people in the right order. Whatever you are, you’re able to create that time.

Masterminds have been around for a long time. The first mastermind was probably the apostles. Then Benjamin Franklin created Leather Apron Club or the Judo club. And then Napoleon Hill writes a book. He brings it to the forefront. He actually names it.

I see that there’s this huge boom continuing in self-education. Where do you see the parallels between self-education (coaches and masterminds) versus standardized education (college and grad school) going forward?

Lydia D:  19:02

I’m hoping it’s consulted all of those out there who created the mastermind because that way of learning is so old. Everything has evolved around it. That is ignorance for me. How is this thing sitting right there in the middle, and everything around it is evolving, and you still want everything around it evolving to literally take steps back to go to that? So that’s my answer. It needs to go that way if it’s not already going. I believe it is going that right.

The Mastermind Effect:  19:48

We’re building the company around it. It’s over a $50 billion industry now. Within the next five to 10 years, they’re looking for between 150 to $200 billion industry. So I think we’re on the right track for how we learn and see around corners.

Lydia D:  20:06

The Institute has lasted so long because society has been bred people to become and to be. It gives people that go to the workforce a space to put their kids. That’s why it’s working.

Lydia’s Reality

 

The Mastermind Effect:  20:33

We’ve talked about our kids, and we won’t go into too much detail. The entrepreneurial, the problem solving, how they will accomplish things, because of how we’re bringing them up or not relying upon the school system to shape who they want to be and what their potential is.

So typically, when someone invests in their future, they have a better than a vague idea of what the expectation or outcome will be. What do people expect when they enter Lydia D’s reality and work with you?

Lydia D:  21:20

First of all, I do not work with everyone. I have no problem with referring people. You want to work with me because I have a great interest in seeing people evolving. It makes brings me joy. I lay in bed and excited over a client that I just finished working with,

They can expect to step outside of the boxes created for them or the boxes they have created for themselves to evolve past consciousness. 46% of the time, we are operating in what is called autopilot. Almost 50% of the time, we are not aware of how we move every moment. We are subconsciously moving on autopilot. So you would want to go subconsciously and rebuild that muscle and step out of the filters created for you. That’s what I do. I go way deeper to assist you in seeing the boxes created for you by society, by your parent, by the teachers, by everything, and the boxes you have created for yourself that are stopping you from maximizing the potential you already are.

The Mastermind Effect:  22:57

How many companies have you created?

Lydia D:  23:20

Four.

The Mastermind Effect:  22:25

Why do I say Lydia sometimes is too modest? She’s got four companies successful companies. And when she works with someone to transform them to help them go subconscious. She’s done it herself because she surrounds herself with the people that helped her do that.

Lydia D:  23:51

I have worked without social media. It wasn’t until this past August that I started social media. All of my clients were coming via word of mouth in this day and age. I’m not talking about just United States. I’m talking about France, Belgium, UK, Dubai, and the Netherlands. Word of mouth, just word of mouth. I did not have LinkedIn. When people who do not know me get on social media, they’re still looking like “who is this person” because I don’t have many followers. However, if you were to hear me speak, if you were to be in one of my boardrooms, or if you were to know me, you quickly understand because, as I say, I have done the work and so is doing the work to polishing.

Who is this coach named Lydia D? You say I am modest, but sometimes I can say I get results. Coaching is something that I am doing because I love it. I retired almost four years ago from my companies.  I’m coaching for the fun of it.

The Mastermind Effect:  25:09

To get results, to wake up, and know that you’re making a difference because of that ripple effect, the pebble in the pond or the mountain in the ocean is so much greater. I wanted to expand on that just a little bit, so they realize the power that you are.

The Mastermind Effect:  25:37

I feel that people have a way of surprising us from time to time, whether it’s the grit, the grind, the willingness to learn and listen and be around the right people. Has anyone been through your coaching whose outcome surprised you not because of who they were but also because they worked with you? Suddenly, they had two paths to take, kind of like what you had, and then your mentor flies in, they go this way, and it changes the trajectory. They go this way. And it’s not the trajectory anyone’s looking for. Give us a success story of someone that’s worked with you, and what was the outcome?

Lydia D:  26:36

I have someone I am very excited about right now. He’s a congressman. I cannot tell you his name. We’re still at work, but the outcome we are receiving now surpassed what I could possibly think. He feels the same way. I have a year contract with him, and I am looking forward to where his year-end. That’s my excitement to see where he already is because now, he has surpassed what we have entered to do the work that we have entered to do. So I am looking forward to seeing what the end goal

The Mastermind Effect:  27:22

Can you sprinkle a little magic on there?

Lydia D:  27:28

One of the struggles that person was having is they could not see the value that they’re.  Everything that they were doing, they were doing with motion. But it was an emotion. It was I am that person internally. I see myself as that person. But it was all motion. Does that make sense? Because people can pretend very well. However, to make the maximization needed, you have to go internally and embody that person.

So far, I don’t know if it’s from the practice of pretending. So subconsciously, it has entered so quickly that person is maximizing, surpassing what he was already prior previously doing. Now it’s not motion. It’s emotion.

The Mastermind Effect:  28:28

I appreciate and respect the fact of anonymity on that one. I love hearing that and how you’re able to bring that person’s power to the forefront. The fact that you’re like, “Hey, I’m looking forward to the end.” Now, that might be the end of whatever, but it is the end. It’s positive because the end is inevitable.

Lydia D:  28:56

That’s right. However, that will be the end of that contract that we have. My clients, they’re not ever for me. They’ve become my friends. They become family to me.

 

Defining Success

 

The Mastermind Effect:  29:34

When I’ve worked with coaches or talked with just different people out there, successful men and women, we talk about success and what does it take to be successful. There’s mentorship, willingness to fail, experimentation, partnerships, and willingness to succeed because when you define success, you have an essence defined failure. And that’s why we’re so afraid sometimes to define what’s success is. What do you feel is a key attribute to being successful?

Lydia D:  30:38

The key is this. There is no such thing as failure. There’s no such thing as struggle. There’s no such thing as heartache. It is only here to redirect you. It is only here to teach you. It is only here to elevate you. Stop, take a deep breath, and be not discarded. Pay attention to the alarm that’s been sound and see what it is here to teach you or redirect you to. The moment you stop utilizing and affirming failure, chaos struggle and giving them those names that create negativity behind them and see them exactly with the lens of what they are here for, which is elevating to the next stage, learning from what it is,  paying attention to that alarm that is being sounded. There’s a reason that the alarm is sounding. Pay attention to it, and the lesson will come you will elevate. However, if you cannot see it for what it is, to learn the lesson, you become what most people call struggling, stuck, do not have the sight to see how to move forward and see it for what it is.

The Mastermind Effect:  31:52

See it for what it is. Face it head-on, address it, and don’t run from it. It helps to surround yourself with the right people because they’ll help you see around the corner, and they’ll help you through it.

Lydia D:  32:07

That’s right. However, others will be quick to assist you if you can assist yourself. If they see, she’s going to get up from the chair. I’m going to support her to get off the chair. If you can see the alarm that’s being sound for what it is first, others will be more willing to assist you in seeing the alarm for what it already is. But if you see the alarm and you’re like, “I am in such a struggle state right now,” they will be more like, “I don’t know if I can pull you out of the struggle state that you are in.”

The Mastermind Effect:  32:51

It’s a lot of energy that another person is going to have to expel.

Lydia D:  32:59

I teach how to see things for what they are. I teach how to go subconsciously to create that foundation for where the alarm showed up. You can see it quicker. I have a whole system that I go to because it makes a difference.

The Mastermind Effect:  33:20

We’re getting closer to the end here. I feel from time to time, depending on what practice we’re looking at, people transfer risk. A politician transfers risk and says, “I’ll send this child off to war, but I’m not going to send my own children.” A doctor will sit there and say, “I’m going to prescribe this medicine for you, but I’m not going to give it to my own child.” How do you keep in the coaching world from transferring risk to your clients and letting them know you’re in the right place?

Lydia D:  33:59

Again, it’s that work a coach has to do and is to be continuously going. You can only elevate your client to the stage that the state that you’re in. You cannot give them more than you are, what you have, and what you’re receiving for the next mastermind you have entered yourself into.

To give you a quick example. COVID took me for a loop for a second with my clients. My clients were coming to me in a different state of mind. They were no longer talking about the business and culture of my company. They were no longer talking about things like, “I’m getting ready to do this deal. How do we best move forward? How do I best mentally prepared for it? We’re no longer talking about the things they were talking about, “I’m no longer traveling. I cannot golf. I’m home all the time. I cannot do the work that I need to do. I’m overworking. Is my company going to survive? And how do I get prepared for this?”

So I had to go back and study. The Great Depression was one of my lessons. I had to go back and learn what they did during the Great Depression, how they survived it, who survive, and how they did that. I had to go back during wartime and go back to history because I had nothing. I literally took off three weeks and just dived. When I emerged back, my clients were like, “Are you kidding me, Lydia? Now I understand.” You can only meet people where you are. When you do not have what is needed, take the time out, pay the money, get the knowledge, disappear, go into meditation in learning, and do what it is that you need to do,

 

 

The Mastermind Effect:  36:20

You are allowing them, but by you taking those three weeks to become a practitioner and learning from history. History will continue to repeat itself because we’re humans. But that three weeks that you took off allowed them to learn from you because they went from a scarcity mindset to an abundant mindset because they’re like, “Oh, well, I got this.”

Lydia D:  36:42

However, it takes a bigger person to realize that I can only meet my clients wherever I am. I am as good as the last book that I read. I am as good as the last wonderful conversation that I’ve had. I am as good as whatever mastermind or whatever you want to call it.

Therefore, I am going to repeat it. The reason Enter.Wellness was created after my retirement was to remind me of who I am with the hope of you remembering who you are. By continuously being in the learning process and continuously being reminded of who I am, I can only be better in your presence. I can only remind you of who you are. I can only assist you,

The Mastermind Effect:  37:36

I feel that there are always new ideas brewing in times of prosperity, like when the world’s winning, it’s easier to get wins; they feel like things are going right. But I think ingenuity and creativity come when we feel the squeeze, and the world in many places is still feeling the squeeze and will continue to feel that. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excites you?

Lydia D:  38:40

I have this mastermind coming to Atlanta called  Enter Wellness, presented by Lady D. It’s July 9 to the 11th.

The Mastermind Effect:  39:53

Last one. What’s a tip, a tactic, or an actionable item that if someone listening today implemented this for the next 30, 60, or 90 days, would see a real impact on their business or personal life?

Lydia D:  40:07

Quietness. Pick time out for quiet moments. I take time out for quiet moments three times in one day. My morning is the longest one. I have midday, and I have one before bedtime. Take time out to realigns yourself. Quietness is productivity. You create more after the quiet moment. You are more centered, more aware and your senses become aligned.

The Mastermind Effect:  40:50

I can sit there and say I had a wonderful one. I just never really thought of it that way where I had my quiet moment. I had my workout, which was a quiet moment. And then, in the shower, I had a moment of clarity from all the quiet moments before that. Then two hours later, I’m on a conversation that if I hadn’t had those quiet moments and then realized this clarifying moment in the shower, I wouldn’t have been able to serve and understand where this person was coming from. And coincidentally, you and I both know the individual, Mr. AJ. Our conversation had a different trajectory because of those quiet moments.

The Mastermind Effect:  41:31

We have got the founder of Enter.Wellness, Lydia D. She created this because she had such an amazing career after retiring, like what you would give back, what you were going to do, and where you were at. Please check her out, reach out to her. Here’s the great thing, you’re not going to find her all over social, you can get her on there. The results that she’s able to get are because of her own experiences and the people she surrounds herself with. Unbelievably meaningful what she’s able to do because she’s got that foundation. She created the foundation before she could do that for a purpose. If you want to know what we’re talking about, reach out to her. She’ll explain to you why you need that foundation so you can then create that purpose. And that’s what she continues to do for herself, her family, and the people with her.

Lydia D:  42:34

They can get in touch with you. You can direct them to the right coaches. If they are unable to find me, they can find you, and then you can redirect them to the right person.

The key is not to stay stagnant. The key is to be in a learning space continuously. The key is finding that person who can mirror you appropriately to move you to the next level. You do not want to be around here flapping your wings and don’t know where you’re going.

The Mastermind Effect:  43:18

Lydia, thank you so much for everything today.

Tweetable Quotes:

“Be flexible in the moment, learn with the new, and be in the state of continuously evolving.” – Lydia D. 

“There is no such thing as failure, there is no such thing as struggle, there is no such thing as heartache. It is only here to redirect you, it is only here to teach you, it is only here to elevate you ” -Lydia D. 

“You can only elevate your clients to the state that you’re in” – Lydia D.

Connect with Lydia D. on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Check out her website https://www.enter-wellness.com

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

122: Dr. Hoby Wedler | Success as a Mindset

Dr. Hoby Wedler is a scientist, entrepreneur, sensory expert and is driven by his passion for innovative, creative, and insightful thinking. In 2011, Hoby founded a non-profit organization to lead annual chemistry camps for blind and visually impaired students throughout North America. In the same year, he began opening doors to the world of wine aromas by developing Tasting in the Dark, a truly blindfolded wine experience, in collaboration with the Francis Ford Coppola Winery. He has since expanded the program to a global market in a variety of industries and special projects. Over the years, Hoby has become a motivational speaker, a mentor, and an educator. He is also committed to making the world an inclusive, equitable, and accessible place for everyone.

In this episode, we have Dr. Hoby talk about why you should slow down at least three times a day to clear your mind and how we just have way too much expectations of ourselves when we compare ourselves to others. He also talks about why you should take big challenges and break them into small pieces. Check it out!

The Mastermind Effect:  02:20

Before we get into the Q&A of the listeners get to you, I remember reading an article that you had done a blind taste tes
ting. I saw names of some rock and roll legends and one that just sticks out. Again, this isn’t really what the podcast is about, but sometimes you got to give people a little bit to get them intrigued with, like who you surround yourself with.  Dave Matthews’s name was in there. There were a couple of other rock and roll legends that are in there. Can you give us a little taste of what that was about?

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  03:11

It’s a long story. So I was born totally blind. Living as a blind guy in a sighted world, I don’t think of anything as a disadvantage. It’s all about mindset. You can turn any disadvantage into an advantage. Any one of you can do that anybody. It might seem ha

rd, but it really shouldn’t feel hard to do. I did a lot of work in chemistry and became an entrepreneur.

Almost ten years ago now, I got a call from Francis Ford Coppola. He asked me if I would host a truly blindfolded Wine Experience at his winery in that northern Sonoma County. We innovated that; he liked it, and that took off. I got picked up by a sales team. That led me to host these sorts of intricate tastings throughout the world in plenty of different industries, some not even involving food and drink. Some involve teaching and using a blindfold to teach high school students empathy while working with a sighted lab partner on high-stakes activities. This all got me an adjunct position at the Culinary Institute of America here in Sonoma County and over their Napa campus.

You’ll learn about me that when everyone needs anything strange, weird,  or peculiar, they tend to call me. I don’t know why, but maybe that’s the kind of guy I am, and it was interesting. They

I’ve done several events from the past, but last year, just before COVID hit, the first of March of 2020 was the event. They put on an annual summit for beverage professionals. They used to be called the Sommelier Summit, so, logically, they have many sommeliers and alcoholic beverage professionals on there. We’re going to do a silent disco. That was the way they want to end the first day. It is a night party where you’re like ranking wines while listening to different types of music. And they said, “Now we want to do something with wine and music beforehand as the last keynote of the day for this couple hundred audience or whatever.” And they said, “Let’s called Hoby.”. So they called me, and I said, “Sure, I’ll put something together.” I had no idea what I was going to do. And I thought, let me just take a shot in the dark, and it’s my life anyway, shoot in the dark. I thought, who have wine and music as huge parts of their career. Dave’s got this going on.

I emailed Dave’s winemaker for Dreaming Tree Wines named Sean Mackenzie, an executive at constellation wines. Sean got back to me and said, “Dude, I love the idea. Let’s do it.” So I collaborated with Sean Mackenzie. And then with Dave to choose songs from the Dave Matthews songbook, to pair with four different wines. It’s great to collaborate with cool people like Dreaming Tree Wines, Dave, and Shawn.

The Mastermind Effect:  06:41

I appreciate you framing that story. I got to read about it. But then it’s sometimes we need that hook, like, “Wait, this is what he’s done. These are the unbelievable people that are surrounding you.” I just think sometimes we take certain things for granted. Whether it’s music, it’s a song, it’s a coach, or it’s a mastermind, there’s something that will come along in our lives down the road that will remind us of that coach, that mascot, that food, or that spring day. We don’t always pay attention to those small moments that are monumental.

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  07:27

honestly, my career is figuring out what these things might seemingly be small and innocent but really large and robust in our lives in our surroundings and pointing them out and amplifying them. I try to take smaller things and amplify what I think people need to hear and know about them. And this comes from my work in sensory literacy, which is being aware and literate of the information that comes into your mind through all of your senses. People who are sighted tend to use their eyesight to obtain about 85 % to 90% of the information of their surroundings. This means that we have four additional, perfectly good senses to only pull in about 10 to 15% of the information around us. It is a lot of senses for not that much information. So if we hone those other senses and learn how to pick up information from those, we are meaning so much more and being so much more powerful in our ability to sense and understand the world around us. I call it is listen instead of hear. I think we become more aware, and that awareness makes us much more inclusive people and equitable people.

Dr. Hoby’s Learning Journey and Masterminds

 

The Mastermind Effect:  08:54

I talked to someone earlier today who sat there, and they said, “I had to relearn how to learn. I had to retrain my brain on how to learn.”

Today, there are more ways to have access to different people, and it has changed over the last 5 to 10 years. When you and I were younger, it was textbooks, teachers, friends, family, co-workers, and the people around us. But that’s really a sliver of what’s possible and how we learn and who we’re learning from. How is your learning changed from your early years versus today?

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  09:32

I’ve always been an information seeker. So I’ve always had this mad desire to acquire information. I’ve always asked a ton of questions about whatever it is that I’m intensely interested in. I’ve always been super inquisitive. When I find something I’m intensely interested in, I find a way to learn everything there is to know about it.

I’ll tell you one thing for me, that’s interesting as a blind person. When we were growing up, and definitely when our parents were growing up, books are a big thing like encyclopedias, dictionaries, and this sort of thing. Having everything online and using my assistive technology to access that and have it at my fingertips is just mind-boggling how much more information is available. The other amazing thing is before, it was writing letters, and eventually, email. Think of someone and think of a question you want to ask them, and if that’s a person that was willing to chat with, you just DM them on any number of 87 platforms. And presumably, they’ll get back to you.

It’s just amazing how much more access we have to so many more people. I think the pandemic has really made us realize that and pushed us to understand that there are people out there that you could talk to, who are just a phone call, or a click of a button away, that you maybe didn’t realize you got access to.

The Mastermind Effect:  11:20

I absolutely agree with you. The pandemic has amplified the people we have access to if you choose to accept it, see it, welcome it, and learn from it.

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  11:35

I embrace this time that we get to learn. There are so many people out there who have a negative attitude about the pandemic. But in many ways, it was transformative in how I view and understand the world around us and how I think about things and problem solve. It’s been very interesting because I’ve talked to more interesting people in this room where I’m sitting right now during COVID than I’ve talked to in years past. The networking is awesome.

The Mastermind Effect:  12:19

Absolutely. The reality is we have way more ways to take in information than ever before. Some people use a mentor, accountability buddy, masterminds, online courses, and many ways to learn and take in information. Who are you currently learning from, and how did you connect with them?

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  12:45

There are some fantastic people out there who can just help us see things we don’t see. So I like to find mentors and to work to a lesser extent. I think masterminds have been fairly useful for me. Mentors see a future for us before we see it for ourselves. They’re able to show us and transpose that into our future. They can tell us what they think.

I randomly responded to a wonderful woman named Megan on LinkedIn in August 2020. She connected Nick Peterson and me on Facebook. A few days later, I reached out to Nick, and he responded quickly, and we hit it off. He seemed like a really interesting person who had just an innate sense of understanding and sort of intelligence around him that I thought was cool. I ended up connecting with him and just connecting him with a lot more awesome people, including reconnection with Justin Green. I’ve seen him just take those connections. I love meeting great people and then referring people to those people.  Nick changed my life and attitude about what I’m doing and get me intensely strong clarity on my work. So I consider him a dear friend and life-long mentor. I just met him not even six months ago. Nick has just incredible thought leadership and is someone who’s just a visionary beyond his decades. He just understands what’s going on in the world and is not afraid to say it.

The Mastermind Effect:  15:19

He’s definitely a sculptor in what he does. You’d mentioned Justin Green, who has also been on the podcast, and he got quite the neuro network of a community. I have great respect for both of those individuals,

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  15:43

Another great respect for them. I always call Nick a cognitive rocket engine because that’s what he does. He can sit down with a room, hear some stuff and just say the thing that you’re waiting to hear and should have known for the past many years but just didn’t put together on; it’s pretty remarkable watching him work.

The Mastermind Effect:  16:05

It’s something that might have already been in your head, and it’s just how he words it and then also becomes clear.

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  16:19

The other person who’s been a great mentor to me is an attorney and a businessman. He’s been practicing law for about 50 years. Now. His name is Rick Citron, which was a connection made by Justin. He’s not a coach. He finds interesting people that he kind of takes under his wing sometimes. He got so much thought and knowledge to share corporate law and corporate structure in a sort of thing. He’s been a real mentor of mine and a joy to talk to. So people should look at Rick if they need a good attorney/businessman. He’s totally helped me see things and understand that it’s okay to dilute a company. Owning 5% of something is a lot better than owning 100% of nothing. He’s just another wise, smart, deep thinker.

That’s one thing that I love to do with those who I help. I like to make it fun for everybody. I don’t want just to take someone’s time and make it not enjoyable for them. That’s been my whole attitude mode going through school as well. That’s the best way we can make it fun and exciting to work with each other. I think that’s a give-and-take relationship, even if it is a coaching client or mentor-mentee relationship. I just want everybody to know that even as a mentor or coach, whatever we’re getting into now, it’s a give and take. I want to learn from every one of my clients, too.

The Mastermind Effect:  18:24

Yes. Jeff Moore says it’s better to be more interested than interesting. Those are avid learners. They might teach, but they’re constantly learning themselves. They’ve got the people around them. Those are the result leaders. Those are the people that are learning, and they continue to move the needle forward.

I think that helps because from time to time, we get stuck, and we can’t execute what’s in our heads. We’re still going through a pandemic, but to me, it causes a reset in how we can accomplish things. How have masterminds helped you when you’re looking to reset and get unstuck in a situation that you’re in?

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  19:01

I call it a brain chiropractor. Masterminds take things and adjust. I’ve just found in leadership and business leadership that if there’s tension in one area, that can cause tension across so much of what we do and what we think we can do. If we can remove that one little bit of tension, everything starts to move, all the joints start to move in concert with one another, and you get rid of the problem. I really do relate it to getting a tune-up in a chiropractor. That little stuck point is it can just hold everything back. And sometimes, the smallest thing you didn’t realize was bothering you.

I sit down with a group and intelligent people in a mastermind, and I start talking with them. I become very good at hearing what actually sticks people, cutting right to the chase, and finding that source of tension on the board of directors of a non-profit organization. There’s been a little bit of tension, and I’ve been able to see some of that tension and work with the CEO a little bit to identify that. If we can figure out that little, not much, seemingly very small and the innocent situation where the tension is, and relieving that tension, all the other problems that seem like the real problem gets off. It’s oftentimes a group effort to find those sticking points, identify them, move things around, and adjust things a little bit to unstick them.

Self-Education and Dr. Hoby’s Experience

 

The Mastermind Effect:  20:39

Masterminds give you a perspective from someone that’s not in your industry but has been through something similar that you’re able to plug and play. I know that I’m using that plug and play a little loosely, but take a certain piece of it and insert it into how it pertains to you, whether it’s in your personal or business life.

Masterminds have been around for a while; if you think about it, the first one was probably the apostles. Then Benjamin Franklin has the Judo Club or the Leather Apron Club. And then Napoleon Hill writes a book, and he rounds out what a mastermind is. As there continues to be a huge boom in self-education, where do you see the parallels going between self-education and standardized education (university and college)?

 

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  21:29

I have to be careful saying this because I’m historically an academic guy. I came up through the ranks and got my Ph.D. in Organic Chemistry. I saw standardized education. In terms of standardized education, it’s as good as you want to make it, and every school is as good as it comes. You can make any institution you attend as good or as not so good if you want. It really is up to the person doing the learning.

The same thing is true for self-education. You can learn and teach yourself a bunch of stuff just totally on your own, but you have to do the work there. Doing research, learning things on my own, and watching YouTube videos are not nearly as engaging or result-driven as sitting down with people and learning from someone or a group of people and sharing thoughts and sharing ideas. I do well with the immersive sort of standardized education; let me take a class on that if I don’t understand or get a mastermind and have a conversation.

I’m blown away by the amount of self-learning out there and the amount of knowledge that’s out there on the internet. When I’m fixing something around the house, I can find a YouTube video to fix anything. The people who are coming of age right now, if you’re 15, 16, 17, or 18-year-olds, they’re finding that there’s not much of a need for college. I can get a brilliant business education for free online with the right resources for a much smaller fee than the standardized education you might pay for. I can teach myself calculus online in a matter of months by watching YouTube videos. It’s such an interesting thing but for me, having mentors, people, and teachers that I can talk to and connect with, is still highly important.

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  23:44

That’s self-education. We pick our teachers in this world, and I think that’s a beautiful thing. I think that COVID changed things for good. We’re going to find ourselves not caring whether someone’s in Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or your next-door neighbor. Location doesn’t matter.

The Mastermind Effect:  24:08

That’s so true. It has taught us that location doesn’t matter, but the people you surround yourself with just such a huge impact. We have a choice. If we choose to continue to be a student, take in the information and how it pertains to us, and move the needle forward,  you can do so many different things with it. If you have an abundant mindset, and you’re not coming from a position of scarcity, it’s what can be accomplished. I can’t even quantify it.

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  24:49

People often ask me, “How did you get a Ph.D. in Organic Chemistry? I don’t know how to do that as a blind person.” I always say 10% of it is working hard and doing it,  and 90% is the mindset. The positive mindset and the abundance mindset of what is possible and asking what is impossible versus what is possible, I’m getting through anything. There’s an article about the five mindsets that allow me to overcome challenges and raise expectations.

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  25:42

A lot of us have way too low expectations of what we can do, and we don’t honestly believe in ourselves. That’s number one. We compare ourselves too much to other people, and we just get stopped in our tracks. We get stuck, and we can’t figure it out. You can do anything at any age as long as you stop comparing yourself to people.

I had experience in organic chemistry classrooms. I am doing pretty well in a class, and there are a couple of guys who were just beating me every time, and they seemed unstoppable. And at first, I was just comparing myself to him. I didn’t care for them. It was like, “What am I going to do? I’m just not good enough.” And then I realized why am I comparing myself to these people? I don’t even know that I’m comparing myself to them. I was making a competition. It’s all in my head. I dropped that comparison, and everything changed. I started doing better in the class and became such good friends with all these people. It’s about mindset, and you can convince yourself that anything is a success. You can be successful at whatever you want.

The other thing that I believe is gratitude. This whole brand that I’m putting together of products and services is out there to accelerate happiness. The main point of it is to bring gratitude to people. Gratitude brings growth. I can’t say that more plainly than that. If we have gratitude, we’re going to grow. If we’re grateful for the things that are already there, the sky’s the limit. If we’re grateful, we are going to make it so far in this life. For always wishing we had more, what exactly do you get. You’re just going to sit around wishing. I was going to be comparing yourself to other people. If we screw up every once in a while, just laugh about it. We’re going to get back on our feet and see how did we mess up. If you don’t die from your mess up, which most times you don’t, you’re going to be stronger, and you’re going to learn more because of it.

The Mastermind Effect:  28:32

It’s leading with that give mentality. If you’re looking about what’s in it for you, and you aren’t leading with the give mentality, it comes back tenfold. If you live with the give mentality, you’re going to continue to surround yourself with the right people in the right order. They’re going to help you see around corners that you couldn’t ever before.

When we look to invest in ourselves, a lot of the time, we want to know what the outcome is going to be or what we can expect. If someone’s looking to invest in themselves, I always say the best investment is yourself. It’s above the stock market and housing market because you can’t control those. Now, you can control the return on your own investment because you can control your own actions. What should people expect when they enter your reality and work with you?

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  29:33

It’s nothing but positivity. You can do whatever you want to do, as long as you have the right mindset. I’m very good at explaining to people, “Hey, this is what doesn’t work with me.”

I’ll give you an example. I’ve got a business where I mentor blind children, and they’re solid parents. We do three things there. We define a path forward to success for kids that’s highly custom. We teach them and their parents how to have high expectations and advocate for themselves in the most meaningful and positive way. And finally, we show them that it’s all about their attitude. Give a very good attitude, and you can make whatever you want happen.

I’ll tell you that when you come to me, don’t have the victim mindset. We need to take responsibility for ourselves. And I have this opinion that if I feel within the first quarter of someone working with or working with a blind child and their parents, if the kid is a victim, and their parents are letting him be a victim, I give them all their money back. I say I’m not right for you because I need to work with the right type of person. You can expect from me that if it doesn’t seem like the right thing, we don’t have to work together. But I love getting to know everyone.

For me, it’s about using our sensory perception of the world, sensory awareness, and sensory literacy to gain that positive mindset and clarity, make the world go around, and get you and everybody where they need to be to think things through. Think about an idea of a little seedling, and then with the right attitude and mindset, grow into a tree and grow into something that just moves you, whether it’s you personally or new in your business.

What people can expect is for me to listen. I don’t care if you’re a trash collector, a chiropractor, CEO. Whenever we sit down, and we say, look at what you do. Look at how it’s helping people. I don’t care if you flip burgers at McDonald’s or wait tables at the French Laundry; you are helping someone. You’re making their life better. Every job and every person is vitally important. I like to find that importance in people, pull it out, pull it to the top, and let them just have this epiphany of “Hey, I am doing something important for the world.” And let them use that to thrive.

The Mastermind Effect:  32:47

You mentioned planting the seeds and watching them grow. I’m sure from time to time, people surprise you, whether there’s the grit, the grind, or their willingness to learn. If you wouldn’t mind sharing a success story of someone who worked with you, the outcome even to them, they were surprised with mental change and the shift in mentality. What was the outcome because of working with you?

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  33:14

I got a great guy who I worked with, and I still work with to this day by the name of Shane Bedard. I met Shane when he was still an industrial design student in Washington. I met him because he was working on an accessible Braille tablet for and it was refreshable so that the dots would go up and down for the blind. That’s the senior thesis. So he called me and got my name from someone. We met and just hit it off really well. He graduated, and he’s such an entrepreneur mindset and believes in what he can do, but he didn’t know what was necessarily the right thing for him to do. That was about a year and a half ago. Through weekly calls with Shane, we’ve found clarity. He’s now got his own company called Matter Global.

I just can’t speak highly enough of Shane. I’ve always seen what he’s great at. He’s great in industrial design. He’s great at listening and understanding, and solving problems. But he didn’t necessarily know that, and we figured that out. It gave him the clarity and the confidence that he needs to step out on a whim and start his LLC. He just goes forth and conquers. I see him picking up clients all the time, and it just makes me happy. When I see someone who didn’t have the clarity just gain the clarity based on some of the conversations that we’ve had, it just makes me happy and makes our soul happy.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  34:46

I always say if you wake up in the morning before you open your eyes or before you touch that little vibrating cell phone next to you, which you shouldn’t even look at for the first hour, smile. If you start the day with a smile before you open your eyes, everything becomes clear and just continues to flow the right way. Yes, you’re going to run into bumps in the road. Does every smile every morning mean that the day is going to be excellent? No, but it sure does start better before you open those eyes. You just smile.

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  35:14

You what do I do? I would say to everybody that when you get up out of bed. If you have a window that points outside, close your eyes, open that window up, and let that air just funnel into your room. Smell and breath in. Just think about what you’re smelling, what you’re appreciating, and clear your head.

Whenever your head gets a little foggy, this is what I always do. Open that window, close your eyes, put a smile on your face. Just take a minute and smell that air coming in. And better yet, go outside and enjoy it.

Our good friend, Dr. Jeff Spencer, talks about this a lot. It’s about taking time and reflecting on what you’re going to do during the day, what you are doing, and what you did. And I found the best time to do that is when you’re just immersed in all your senses and letting your mind relax. It’s like relaxing a muscle.

Defining Success

 

The Mastermind Effect:  36:27

I got a few more questions as we get closer to the end here. On solo shows, we talk about success, what it takes to be successful, and the pillars of success. A few of those things are mentorship, partnerships, experimentation, and willingness to fail. And on the flip side, willingness to define success. I feel so many people don’t define success because you, in essence, have defined failure when you do that. And that’s a scary thing. What does it take to be successful?

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  36:59

You have to start small, and you have to break a huge problem into a bunch of mini problems. Maybe I shouldn’t say the word problem. You have to take a big challenge and break it into as many dozens, hundreds, or thousands of as many challenges as you need. Because then, it doesn’t feel so hard. You can accomplish one thing in a day and feel successful.

Success is a mindset thing. If you just fall over, sit around on the couch all day, and know that you’ve got a mountain of work you should be doing, you don’t do any of it, and you go to bed feeling like the OG do. But sometimes, when you’ve got these things that are just looming in your mind, just put your mind to it and get them done.  Whether it’s an email you’ve been needing to send for a week, just get it out and send it. That took you five minutes, and that makes you feel successful. So to me, the pillars of success are breaking things into small challenges and always holding the bar high. I did well. I can always do better no matter what. And giving ourselves that constructive criticism every step of the way.

To me, success in entrepreneurship is not about money or power at all. Entrepreneurship is about problem-solving and identifying solutions that make sense, whether it’s a problem that seems huge. I guarantee you Elon Musk didn’t create Tesla in one night. That was a multitude of very small challenges and problems he solved. Obviously, we need to pay our bills at the end of the month. So it’s nice when funding comes from good problem-solving. I live as a blind guy in a sighted world; I’ve basically been a lifelong entrepreneur. I just need to figure out different ways to do things. Now, I figure out different ways to do things, and I formed businesses out of them. It’s no different. It’s the same mindset, my brain.

The Mastermind Effect:  39:00

The biggest takeaway here is just mindset. It can shift and make a huge leap in who you want to be around and what you can accomplish to figure out what success is to you and find that happiness.

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  39:17

By the way, happiness is super important. You go right along with success. You can’t be a depressed version successful person. I don’t mean to say that you can’t be successful. Not at all but quite the contrary. Try to figure out how to work with your mind and let your work make you happy.

This is another thing; it’s super important. Dennis O’Leary says this, and he’s just amazing. Do what you’re good at. Don’t try to do something you’re not good at, and try just to do what you feel like you can honestly do. The sort of silly example is a plumber. This is grossly simplified, but it gets the point across. If you have a roof leak, you’re probably not going to call a plumber, and you are going to call a roofer. The plumber is not going to fix your roof. He’s going to say I’m a plumber, and they do what they’re good at. Yep. Try and keep that in mind, “doing what you’re good at.”

The other thing that I think is so true, and I really want to want to drive home with people. This is something that I’ve learned in my life. It’s a phrase that I’m working on trademarking, which is not what it looks like. Imagine looking at a table of an array of glasses of wine and saying, “Oh, this one’s red. This one’s white. This one’s pink.” Do you think you can analyze and explain red wines to me, just by seeing one is a little darker than another you see on a table? No, you can’t do that. That’s not going to work. People are the same way. Do not look at someone. I really urge all your listeners to do this. Don’t judge people by what they look like; you got to have a conversation with them. So many people see me with my cane, and they don’t think that  I do what I do. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Talk to people, get to know them; you’ll be blown away by what you find when you have a conversation with someone that you may have made judged on what they look like. I don’t have the disadvantage of being able to judge books by their covers. I met some absolutely amazing people just by sitting down with an open mind talking to him.

The Mastermind Effect:  41:48

Sometimes it’s best just to listen, open that air. You’re able to learn so much more in an open conversation if you’re the one that’s listening at the end of the day.

The Mastermind Effect:  42:11

There are always new ideas brewing in times of prosperity. I feel the winds come easier when the world and life are doing well. But ingenuity and creativity come when we feel the squeeze and the world still feeling some form of the squeeze. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excites you?

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  42:41

I’m developing a suite of products and services under one unified brand called Hoby’s. I’m working hard to build out one of the products. As I say, we accelerate happiness through creating gratitude and respect and just appreciation of life in those with who we work with. We do that a lot through food and drink. A lot of flavor strategy, consulting, and food and drink industry with companies and businesses, large and small. I do a lot of sensory design, consulting on the packaging. I’m coming out with a line of products called Hoby’s seasonings. It’s a line of seasonings that are designed to elevate the flavor in the home cook’s kitchen—five-star flavor without five-star chef experience.

Then a big part of this whole portfolio is the coaching. It’s just coming together with people and saying, “Let’s view the world in a very positive lens with an abundance mindset and pull the positivity out of whatever we do. Just live on that little high because it never goes down.” If you see the world through a very real but very abundant way, the high never goes away. You just ride it all the way through.

We also got a line of spirits coming out called Blind Truth. I don’t want to promise a launch date for that. But we’re super stoked about Blind Truth and just excited to be doing all this. As you said, ingenuity and creativity come from a struggle and a squeeze, and I think that we’re all every day from my blindness because it’s made me who I am. It’s been a struggle, but it’s made me who I am.

The Mastermind Effect:  45:45

What is a tip, a tactic, or an actual item that if anyone listening today implemented it over the next 30, 60, or 90 days, they would see a real impact on their personal or business life?

 

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  45:56

At least three times a day, slow down. Forget about your phone for at least five minutes, and clear your head, your mind, and whatever else is going on. Hit the reset button. It’s better to do this outside or by opening a window at the very least. Let the natural surroundings absorb into all of your senses. Get rid of that eyesight. It’s a great thing sometimes, but it’s a pesky distraction most of the time, so get rid of it. Close your eyes, put a blindfold on, and reset. Then come back to it five minutes later. Come back into life and into your day. Sit down, reset and have a place to do that, even if you have to go out to your car and sit for 5 to 10 minutes. Go out to the outdoors and just stand outside your office or whatever it takes. That reset is like a little light sleep.

The Mastermind Effect:  47:00

I wholeheartedly agree. I tried to do that often. Technology can be a help or hindrance. My watch tells me to stand up, to breathe, and tell me reminders. I’ve got my book over here. Conversations that I’ve had with different coaches and mentors and things that I’ve got to do on a daily, hourly basis just to be able to have that fresh set of thoughts that come through when we’re trying to move the needle and when we’re trying to lead with the give mentality.

We have got the founder of Hoby’s, Dr. Hoby Wedler. I appreciate it, and I’m looking forward to our friendship moving forward. Thank you so much for what you brought today.

Dr. Hoby Wedler:  47:47

Brandon, thanks so much for having me on. Congratulations on the Success Finder. I can’t wait to see where that goes and can’t wait to build our relationship. It’s just getting started, my friend.

Tweetable Quotes:

“Don’t think of anything as a disadvantage, it’s all about mindset and you can turn a disadvantage into an advantage.” – Dr. Hoby Wedler 

“The positive mindset and the abundance mindset of what is possible vs. what is impossible can get you through anything.” -Dr. Hoby Wedler 

“You can do anything at any age as long as you stop comparing yourself to other people.” -Dr. Hoby Wedler

“Don’t judge people by how they look like. You have to have a conversation with them.” – Dr. Hoby Wedler

Connect with Dr. Hoby Wedler on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Check out his website https://www.hobywedler.com/.

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

121: Solo | The 3 Questions You Need to Ask

There are three questions with a bonus one you might want to ask when it comes to your messaging. So why is it when we send a message, create a template, want people to know what we’re thinking and what they should or could do? But instead, we just put it out there, like a misled mess.

I’m still learning this. When I see my messaging and think about my processes when I’m implementing the following results that I measure, they’ve gone up. My results have gone up based on what I measured. Remember, you should measure based on where you are, not someone else. The reason I just put that last disclaimer in there was because I need you to remember, it’s where you’re at my results, better engagement of the right people, better results, helping those people get what they want when it matters most for them. I’m implementing this across multiple companies that I run, so I know it fits across industries.

The three questions with an added bonus: 1. Why am I here? 2. Am I in the right place? 3. What do I do next? 4. (bonus) What happens when I do that?

Do you see it right now? Are you listening to this? Why am I here? You want to level up, find the right coach or mastermind, and level up your success.

Am I in the right place? If this brings you value and moves you in the direction that benefits you and those around you, then you get your answer.

What do I do next? I have a CTA call to action saying to download The Success Finder and a message me to take the following steps if you’re a coach or looking for one.

What happens when I do that? I’ll reach out to you and point you in the right direction to get you set up with the right people. Sure this all sounds simple, but I need to write something out and have these four questions around to check as I’m going along.

Write them out or have them on a post-it note. When you’re creating your email template, your marketing campaign when you’re looking to communicate,  or even if it’s communication inside your family, if you’re thinking about this, you’re helping them get to the goal of what you see a little bit quicker. You’re able to communicate and create better communication in your businesses or the people who come to you and want to work with you and in your personal life. I can tell you it’s been a huge game-changer for my companies, and inside my family, I have a completely different relationship. Lots of laughter is happening. So take the three questions with the bonus fourth, write it down, and have an easy area to move that needle from where you are currently at.

Don’t forget to download The Success Finder if you’re looking to be a coach on the platform and be approved, message me over there. If you’re looking for the right coach or the right mastermind and want to connect with that, reach out to me. We’ll help connect and find out what’s most important to you where you’re at. We’ll see on the next episode.

Tweetable Quotes:

“You should measure based on where you are, not someone else.” – Brandon Straza

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

120: Anna Parker-Naples | Launching Impactful Podcasts

Anna Parker-Naples is a multi-award-winning British entrepreneur and the Founder of The Podcast Membership, where she gives experts the chance to be seen and heard by their ideal clients. She also hosts her own chart-topping podcast called Entrepreneurs Get Visible.

In this episode, Anna explains how the right masterminds can help you impact the world. She dives into how her podcast agency works with you on your “why” to help you launch an impactful podcast that lasts. Lastly, she shares how anything is possible when you get visible by picking one platform to show who you are. Check it out!

Anna’s Learning Journey and Masterminds

 

The Mastermind Effect:  02:47

Our ability to access different people, especially through social, has grown and changed so much over the last five or ten years. When you and I were younger, it was textbooks, teachers, friends, family, coworkers, and the people around us, but that’s a sliver of what’s possible in life. How is your learning changed from your early years versus today?

Anna Parker-Naples:  03:12

As a child, if we wanted to know about something, we found a set of encyclopedias in the library. I can remember that a good friend of mine, her family had a massive 30 book encyclopedia set. If we had homework to do, we’d go and have a look at the encyclopedia. If it wasn’t there, you weren’t going to know about it.

I’ve got three children who are in their teenage years now. It’s hard to try and explain to them that we couldn’t just know stuff. If we didn’t know someone who knew something, you didn’t know it, or you had to go to the library. Whereas now I learned on the go.  I learned while I’m walking my dog. I walk while I learned while I’m in the car. I’m learning on the go. I tend to podcasts a lot to do that learning.

The Mastermind Effect:  04:11

That’s the amazing thing with podcasts. You can learn from people across borders, across countries, different languages; it’s at your fingertips. The great thing about podcasting, it’s free.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  04:56

There are more ways to take in information, and to me, it can be overwhelming. It can be confusing. Some people learn from online courses, accountability buddies, pre-recorded courses, and YouTube University. Who are you currently learning from, and how did you reach out and connect with them?

Anna Parker-Naples:  05:17

At the moment, I’m part of three different mastermind groups, which is very fitting given that we are on the mastermind effect podcast.

I’m in a mastermind group headed up by a lady in LA and mostly has British women in it. There are about 10 to 15 of us and all coaches. It’s a very heart-centered business mastermind, but with real positive psychology feel to it. Everything is that no matter what we’re going through, we will find the proper challenge that we can rise from in it. That’s a very warm, wholesome place.

I’ve just joined another mastermind, a collective of 40 high-level, very successful six, seven, and eight-figure business owners and all women who are committed to making an impact in the world. We might all be making money, but there’s some change we want to see. As part of that, we will be going to mastermind with Richard Branson in Necker, which is very exciting.

Then another mastermind which I’ve been for about three years now. There are 40 to 60 people in there. It’s learning about marketing and media. I think being in those environments helps me grow. They’re all for different purposes. But the crucial thing is I’m surrounding myself with other people who are hungry for success, and they’re making it happen. And that helps me rise.

The Mastermind Effect:  07:04

That’s the interesting thing. That’s a big thing when it comes to the right mastermind. Have you ever been to a mastermind, and what was promised was under-delivered? Maybe it was just something that wasn’t aligned and how you were you, but the mastermind wasn’t what it was supposed to be.

Anna Parker-Naples:  07:31

It wasn’t quite a mastermind, even though it was being sold as a mastermind. It was a coach that I knew I didn’t know very well. And actually, if I’d listened to my gut, I wouldn’t have signed up anyway. It was a lower-cost mastermind. Very quickly, she was selling us on the idea that once we paid, we would get extra hours in the mastermind, and we’d expected. What she did was bring in other coaches to manage the group, and she barely turned up. If I bought into something, knowing that that’s the scenario, that’s fine. I think that’s a great model. But that wasn’t what I signed up for, and you don’t feel great about that.

The Mastermind Effect:  08:23

I want people to realize that there are going to be masterminds or coaching programs that are like that; it doesn’t mean that that person’s a bad person. Now, he might still be figuring it out, refining, and moving on their way. But the quicker you can recognize and your bs meter steps up, you can cut through a lot of that noise.

Anna Parker-Naples:  08:45

Listen to it. It’s so important. Often we know the clients; they’re going to be problematic. We probably knew that on the call before that thing happened. As I become more successful, I’m lucky enough to be in a situation. I don’t have to take all of the clients. I can turn them down. But you don’t feel like that in the beginning. That’s part of the growth and evolution of your own business persona anyway.

The Mastermind Effect:  09:14

You use the word that I’ve been using a little bit lately, which is lucky. I don’t mean to put words in your mouth, but I’ve got to imagine your luck is by design. I feel lucky because of the people I get to talk to, and  I get to talk to you. I feel lucky because of the people I surround myself with, the coaches that I’m around, the masterminds that I’m in, but it is by design and your luck. Would you sit there and say it’s by design, or do you just feel lucky?

Anna Parker-Naples: 09:33

Completely by design.

The Mastermind Effect: 09:36

That’s the thing. Luck can be by design, and you can create your own circle or your own bubble of luck.

 

Anna Parker-Naples:  09:40

So I actually put out an Instagram post today, which was about you get to choose where you pull that chair up. You get to choose to sit at the table of winners. It might be that when you arrive, you feel massively overwhelmed because they’re so much further ahead than you. Who you surround yourself with literally pulls up your education and your mindset. Even the levels of finance that are being discussed make you rise. You might not immediately make their eight-figure business, but you’re going to grow yourself because of the nature of who you’re with.

The Mastermind Effect:  10:19

You’re in the room for a reason. When you become comfortable in the room or the minute you are the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room. I always say comfort kills. It’s tough to sit there and embrace being uncomfortable, but why you’re in the room, and the people know why you’re there. You might be that six-figure earner wanting to go to seven or eight. But those people see what you’re doing, and they will help your ship rise.

Talking people in general, I feel from time to time we get stuck. We can’t see the picture through the frame or see the tree through the forest. The world is still going through some form of a pandemic. But to me, it causes a reset and how we can accomplish things. How have masterminds helped you when you’re looking to get unstuck and reset yourself?

Anna Parker-Naples:  11:02

In a good mastermind, there’s a level of trust and respect. You don’t all have to be the best of friends. There’s a level of trust and integrity and a desire for each person to breakthrough whatever they’re dealing with. I’m a coach, so I’m often in masterminds with other coaches, who have skills, gifts, talents, and who have been through business struggles, akin to what I may be going through at the time. When you’re brave enough to acknowledge what sits behind that fear, what those things are, where that came from, in a room where you are, be online or be in person in a room where other people want your growth and have been through something similar; that’s where the next step comes from. That’s the next level of thinking comes from. Even having people say to you what you’re struggling with in your life and your business because there isn’t a divide, not as an entrepreneur, is the same thing. The thing you’re struggling with right now, what if you just let yourself sit in it for a little bit? Because it’s not going to be forever. What if you just acknowledged everything going on around you in your personal life and dealt with that right now? Sometimes it’s about having other people around you in a mastermind give you permission to give yourself some slack. That’s powerful.

 

Self-Education and Anna’s Experience

 

The Mastermind Effect:  12:40

It absolutely is. When I work with one of my coaches, we talk about the champions mindset. Then we talk about the built-in human DNA. The built-in human DNA is a little devil that sits on your shoulder, gives you that self-doubt, and says you can’t do it. It’s almost like we’re our worst critics. But when you’re in that mastermind environment or when you’ve got the right coach such as Anna around you, they’re the ones that are helping you build that champion mindset. You can only surround yourself with so many. So remember, in that cup, if we want to call it sometimes, you got to get rid of a few, so you make room for the right ones to come in there. It doesn’t make those people good or bad that you’re moving, but you might not be serving them. In a mastermind, you want to serve yourself, and others are serving you while you’re in there.

Masterminds sweat the shows about mastermind effect. They’ve been around for a long time. Probably the first one was the apostles, and then Benjamin Franklin creates the Judo club. And then Napoleon Hill writes a book that brings it full circle on what a mastermind is. As there continues to be a huge boom in self-education, coaching, masterminds, mentorship, where do you see the parallels moving between self-education and standardized education, university and college?

Anna Parker-Naples:  14:14

I was reading an article about someone who had deliberately removed their children from state education in the UK as a result of what didn’t happen during the lockdown. Provision fluctuated across the country as to who got what even though it’s the same government. She was an entrepreneur, and she was saying if school education is teaching someone what they need to do to become a worker bee, I want to teach my children to be a queen bee. Why would I keep them in the system?  I think more people are starting to realize that. You still need a connection if you become that queen bee. You need to find other people who are doing similar things to you. That’s where the power of masterminds comes in.

The Mastermind Effect:  15:05

I think that’s across boards when it comes to education. We have a system that we haven’t changed for so long, and it’s to create those worker bees. Self-education looks at it, like, “what is it that you’re good at? What are you gifted at? What do you want to do?” Then let’s surround yourself with those kinds of people.

My son goes to Montessori and kind of embodies that. It’s like, what are you good at or what you want to do, go do that. And then they sprinkle in the other stuff that you’re going to need. But you get to focus on what moves the needle for you. You get to help your classmates along the way. A mastermind is like Montessori towards just like, do your zone of genius, and help the people around you at different levels move the needle forward.

Anna Parker-Naples:  15:55

It is about finding your thing and just going for it. It is trusting yourself, trusting your innate skills, gifts, talents, the weird and wonderful things that you’ve learned along the way—doing it to the nth degree. I hope that is something that washes off on the next generation.

The Mastermind Effect:  16:21

It’s going to now. If you want to be a doctor, nurse, or engineer, I want you to get that piece of paper. Please get that piece of paper.

Anna Parker-Naples:  16:28

But do it because you want to, not because you’re fulfilling your parents’ or your grandparents’ dream. I believe that was the only route to wealth, education, and freedom. Do it because it fulfills your need to be a great doctor to heal people. Do it because that makes you tick.

The Mastermind Effect:  16:46

That’s so true. Do it for you. Don’t do it for someone else because you’re living their expectations, not your own expectations. Twenty years down the road, you’re like, “Where did everything go? “And you won’t be happy.

In essence, if you’re going to college or going to masterminds, it’s investing in yourself. I think that the best investment better than the stock market and housing market is yourself. You can control the ROI on you. You can’t control those other things out there. As people invest in themselves and work with you and your company, what should they expect when going through that process? What should they expect when they enter Anna’s reality?

Anna Parker-Naples:  17:23

There are a couple of philosophies that sit behind what I do. On the one hand, I help people to get visible to achieve their own potential. That’s a lot of the messaging that we put out there. My podcast is called Entrepreneurs Get Visible. My first book was called Get Visible. When you own your skills and talents, then it isn’t scary to put yourself out there. It isn’t a problem because you’ve got through all of the rubbish that you might be telling yourself about, like “I don’t deserve it, I’m not good enough.” You let yourself be the adventurous person enjoying the journey, which is different from embodying the “maybe I’m not good enough, but I’m testing the water.” It’s a very different experience.

The other thing is that I believe that podcasting allows us to reach thousands and thousands of people to touch one life at a time. And so, I’m really interested in how we have that ripple effect. The exciting bit is when you get your message, and then that is amplified tens of thousands of times over across the globe. You can have global change one person at a time. For example, someone listening to this conversation right now, there might be something the way that Brandon and I have this conversation that just is the spark of a catalyst for change for somebody. That’s really amazing.

When we work with people in the agency, we make sure that we understand what their message is, what sits behind the drive to make a profit, what it is they’re trying to do,  what’s the impact, what’s the result, and what’s the purpose of it. For me, understanding that and helping them get that out there is exciting.

We launched a podcast today for somebody, and it went live yesterday. She doesn’t have a huge following on social media, but we’ve managed to get her to chart at number five in the UK charts because we know what we’re doing. Her message would help men having a very particular issue that would not find her work unless they went hunting for it. Being able to help someone with a very unique way of giving her wisdom to the world and helping her turn that up is very cool.

The Mastermind Effect:  20:00

It’s the pebble in the pond.  One person has access to about 250 people, but you can be impactful. So when you reach that one person, the pebble that impacts, you might not see that. But that’s how you can go global from the aspect of having a podcast and having the right podcast agency helping you launch to get your “why” out there. You’ll have people that are just like, “I’m gonna do a podcast just because.” What’s your “why”?

Anna Parker-Naples:  20:32

If you get bored, you won’t want to turn up. You’ll do 20 episodes because you think it’s cool. And then you’ll disappear into the ether. What was the point?

The Mastermind Effect:  20:39

How many episodes of your podcast?

Anna Parker-Naples:  20:43

We’re just about to hit 200 of my second podcast, and I did something like 90 of my first.

The Mastermind Effect:  20:48

How many years is that?

Anna Parker-Naples:  20:52

That podcast started in October 2019. I released ten episodes, two episodes a week.

The Mastermind Effect:  21:00

Couple episodes. We released somewhere around 80. We started at, I believe, July of last year. We started at two, and then we had to start cranking out three a week.

If you have a “why” behind it, it makes it so much more impactful for the people to sit there, listen and say, “Anna is gonna bring another amazing guest,” or if it’s a solo show, “she is going to bring such amazing content to me or some value to me that I’ve got to be there and listen to it.” We have a responsibility as the podcaster to make sure what we’re saying isn’t just pie in the sky or fluff in the air. You’ll see that sometimes in podcasts where they don’t realize the responsibility and the impact they might have on other people.

Anna Parker-Naples:  21:39

It’s interesting because I predominantly am helping experts, authors, leaders. Even if they don’t necessarily see themselves as leaders, that’s what they are for that tribe. I’m right in the middle of judging for the British Podcast Awards. We get sent a batch of about 50 that I’ve got to listen to. We have given categories across the board like entertainment, comedy, football clubs, and all sorts of weird and wonderful things, documentaries, and all sorts. What really stands out no matter what category is when they’re open and honest about something that has touched them or inspired them, you feel that as a listener. You feel that you get them.

The Mastermind Effect:  22:40

Whether it’s people’s willingness to learn, the grit, or the grind, I think people have a way of surprising us. I’d love to hear a success story so that listeners can sit down like, “Oh, that’s me. She can also help solve that.” If you can give names and examples, we appreciate it. I also appreciate anonymity but give us a success story of someone that went through you.

Anna Parker-Naples:  23:18

We launched a show for someone who was quite well known. She was quite well known in terms of divorce coaching. Still, She had been behind the scenes doing a lot of research into narcissistic abuse and the effects of trauma on the brain as a result of narcissistic abuse. She was at the edge with her business at the time. Do I really go super niche? Do I do that? Am I brave enough? Is there a market for that?

So we decided that she would test the waters by launching a podcast called the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast. We went through her process with us. It was started a new direction in the business. We launched the show the very last week in August last year. She now has over 300,000 downloads, most of which are in America, even though she’s in the UK. She hit the big sizable figure most people want very soon after launching that podcast.

Anna Parker-Naples:  24:28

Her podcast has been listened to in 104 countries. She cannot quite fathom what happened as a result of getting the message right, and having the right strategy.  She only does a solo show, and it’s blown her ways, changed her life, and getting the message right.

The Mastermind Effect:  24:50

Can you go a little bit about what your agency does and how you helped her craft that and then get her to where she’s at?  Her message is powerful, and her “why” was even more powerful. You can have the best message and the best content, but if you don’t have the team around you helping shape that and putting it in the right position, you can all fall apart. So what did you guys do that helped maneuver that “why”?

 

Anna Parker-Naples:  25:19

I think this comes down to her being clear. What’s the purpose of the podcast for her as an individual? What’s she trying to do with it? What’s the purpose of it for her business in terms of lead generation? And what’s the purpose of it in terms of what the listener is going to leave with? When you’re clear on why they’re tuning in and how you are serving them through your content, it makes turning up for every recording episode so much easier.

In the consultancy period, we go deep into what someone is doing. A lot of people I work with are quite experienced experts and entrepreneurs, and therefore they think, “Oh, we’ve done the ideal client stuff. I did that at the beginning of the business. I know that stuff.” But we go really deep. What’s that person doing when they’re listening to your podcast? What just happened for them in their life? What going on around them when they put your show on? And that just seems to get this kind of crystal clarity around what they’re doing with the show. Many people say that they ended up coming to do that, but it gives them so much more depth for their business and content.

Then what we do is we look at all of the competitor podcasts. Is anyone doing it well? There are many podcasts doing things but half-heartedly. So then we can work out what keywords are working, what isn’t working, which categories do we want to put you in? Who do we want you to go head to head within the charts and blow them out of the water? How do we do that? So we do all the backend stuff. Then we make the podcast sound amazing.  Once they understand the processes that we need to deliver great content, all they do is literally plug in a microphone, and that’s it. We do everything else. We do all of their content. We polish it, mix it, master it, keyword it, create the show notes, and do all of the assets. So they do not have to do anything. So many of our podcasters, once they’ve gone through the period of learning with us, are literally spending maybe 15 to 20 minutes a week doing their podcasts. That’s it, and then it’s out of their head.

The Mastermind Effect:  27:35

It isn’t just showing up and saying, “Hey, here I am. And I’m done.” Now, with someone like Anna and her team, it is showing up, having all the pre-work done, and they take care of that. There’s so much more that goes behind the scenes of a podcast, whether it’s a profitable podcast or a meaningful podcast. There’s so much that goes on behind it that this is why you need a team that Anna’s built. If you really want to get your message out in the right order to the right people and understand that. I’ve talked to several podcasting coaches or podcasting groups and how they do it. The love and the depth that you just went into just in that small portion right there is deeper than I’ve heard before. But it makes sense.

Anna Parker-Naples:  28:21

So many people think, “Oh, I’ll start a podcast because podcasting is the thing right now. I’ll just set up a free account on Anchor or something. I’ll get my podcast out there. I’ll do it on my phone. And that’ll be it. I’m a podcaster.” Yes, you are. Is your show going places? If you’ve not done the research, and you’ve not done the thinking, and you don’t work with someone who gets the podcast space, you’re not going to accelerate in the way that you could. One of the big mistakes I see is people say, “Yeah, I started the podcast about six weeks ago. I was going to see how it did before I told anyone about it.” Well, you’ve just tanked the whole thing. It happened so often. It’s not going to happen. You’ve missed this wonderful, unique opportunity to completely get the algorithms working in your favor.

My second book is called Podcast With Impact. I want people to have a podcast that makes a difference, has a ripple effect that we’ve just talked about, and actually does something for your credibility and your business. Otherwise, what the hell are you doing it for?

Defining Success

 

The Mastermind Effect:  29:38

People defer risk. So a doctor will prescribe a medication to a patient that they wouldn’t give to their own child.  A politician will send someone else’s kid off to war, but they’ll find a way to protect their own children from going. How do you keep from deferring your risk to your clients?

Anna Parker-Naples:  30:11

I feel like I put myself on the journey. When I launched my first podcast, I had no idea, so I made all of those rookie mistakes.

With my second podcast, I was determined. If I’m going to teach people the audio side of podcasting, I want to have an undeniably successful show. So I had to go in deep. I had to do it properly. When we started hitting number one in multiple categories, I had no one to celebrate with me because nobody understood what it took to make that happen. So I always felt that when I built a business doing this for the people, I wanted them to feel very handheld like we’re with you every step of the way. We are going to push you, to encourage you lovingly to go live again to tell people about your show, and to post those reviews, even though you think you’ve done it a million times today because of that unique window to get people to support you.

The Mastermind Effect:  31:20

It’s the beginning, the opening one. I’m a novice when it comes to understanding. Still, I’ve had people, like Anna, have explained it to me. When you launch a show, the first week or two, having a coming-out party and constantly having people going there and either downloading or giving you a rating and review helps put those eyeballs on other people. Then the algorithm sits there and says, “Oh, well, this seems to be something popular. We need to show it to other like-minded individuals.” And then other people that might not have ever heard of, like Apple iTunes or  Google Play, they’re putting it in front of other eyeballs for you. Is that right?

Anna Parker-Naples:  31:57

Some people say it’s just a game. It doesn’t mean anything if you hit the charts. Well, it does. If that means that the people who would never normally find you, who needs you, can then see you and hear you, that’s a game worth playing.

The Mastermind Effect:  32:11

It’s a game worth showing up for. But again, you have to have your “why.” If you don’t have your why, you don’t care, and you shouldn’t be doing it to begin with.

I got a few more questions as we near the end here. When times are easy, though the winds come in, they just kind of flood in. But I think ingenuity and creativity come when we feel the squeeze and the world still feeling some form of a squeeze out there. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excites you?

Anna Parker-Naples:  32:38

I launched the podcast membership about 18 months ago. Then we built the production agency. What high-level and great experienced people keep asking me is how I can get on really good shows. So we’re building the Podcast Booking Boutique, where we’re keeping our roster deliberately exclusive.  We want to have this service where we are doing the research, listening, and introducing. It would be like a posh Tinder, but to match people because when you have the right conversation with the right people, it’s amazing. You must have had guests where you kind of go like, “It’s quite hard. We just weren’t a match.” Or you’ve been a guest on shows where it was hard and but there are times when the match is right that the door opens for collaboration, friendship, connection, and partnering, and piggybacking for each other’s audiences. When you find those people, and you have a conscious conversation about something that matters to both parties, that’s when the magic happens.

That’s what we’re rolling out any day now. We’re taking on our first clients. We’re keeping the roster super small. I’m really excited. Particularly with COVID and lockdown, the world isn’t quite going back to how it was for quite a while. I don’t know if people have realized that. But what people want is connection. Podcast guesting can allow you to meet like-minded people.

The Mastermind Effect:  34:38

Having that concierge handheld experience exclusive, white glove service, or however you want to look at it, the connection can happen when two parties come into a room. We’ll call this Zoom Room. But when two parties come into a room, and they don’t go in with any expectation of “Hey, I’ve got an offer for you, and you’re going to sell this,” it’s actually just getting to know the other person and helping them share their message because it’s impactful. Other people need to hear it. Something comes out of it without you even looking for it. Just naturally, something comes across your desk one day, you’re just like, “Wait a minute, I remember this conversation.” You’re able to tether something super positive and impactful and say, “I need to reach out. I don’t know why. But I remember this.” And collaboration comes out of it.

Anna Parker-Naples:  35:31

I’m excited about building that because podcasts had changed my life. I’ve actually met some of the greatest friends I’ve ever had through being a guest on their podcast, or vice versa. And then, we’ll deliberately seek masterminds together to grow and share our learning together. There’s a lot of that going on. But equally, there are times when I’ve been a guest on shows that are not a match for me at all, and I shouldn’t be in that room. So I want to make sure that we get it right for people.

The Mastermind Effect:  36:14

I got one last one for you, and you’ve given so many. What’s a tip, a tactic, or an actual item, that if anybody listening today implemented this in the next 30, 60, or 90 days into their personal or podcasting life, would make a real impact and difference in what they’re doing?

Anna Parker-Naples:  36:45

One of my catchphrases is “anything’s possible when you get visible.” Visibility these days can be live video, being a podcast guest, or doing your social media content. Pick one platform and put yourself out there consistently for 30, 60, or 90 days showing a bit of yourself, whatever that means. Whether that’s the live video, telling a bit more about yourself than you would normally, or posts that let people in a little bit that will change everything.

The Mastermind Effect:  37:19

It goes from the spray and prays at which platform do I need to be on, like YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Tiktok,  to a sniper approach. Take one place, become the best at that, and whatever it is that you want to and go forward and have consistency. Don’t just show up for two weeks and say, “Well, I got no reactions out of that one. I need to move on to the next thing.”

Anna Parker-Naples:  37:42

This comes down to having a purposeful “why.”  It’s not just showing up for a couple of weeks, and I didn’t get the result yet. If your work means something to you, why would you stop at two weeks? It might be that you grow, you evolve, you change, but you still show up.

The Mastermind Effect:  38:00

Consistency is king and queen at the end of the day. Make sure that you’re there. We’ve got the founder of the Podcast Agency, Anna Parker-Naples.

Anna, thank you so much for your time and what you brought to the show today.

Resources Mentioned:

Tweetable Quotes:

The thing you’re struggling with right now– what if you just let yourself sit in it for a little bit? Because it’s not going to be forever.” – Anna Parker-Naples 

“What if you just acknowledge everything that is going on around you and your personal life, and deal with that right now?” – Anna Parker-Naples 

Connect with Anna Parker-Naples on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Check out her podcast Entrepreneurs Get Visible with Anna Parker-Naples and her website https://annaparkernaples.com/.

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

119: Nancy Juetten | Being Visible By Being a Podcast Dream Guest

The author of the popular Bye-Bye Boring Bio workbook and Get Known Get Paid Mentor, Nancy Juetten, is on a mission to guide a million business experts in English speaking nations around the world to prepare and share their magnetic marketing messages so they can get known and paid for their winning ways. She guides aspiring and thriving speakers and coaches to name, claim, and communicate their expertise so premium clients see their value and gladly invest in their products, programs, and services.

In this episode, Nancy talks about defining what you want to build early on, whether it’s creating a boutique business or a juggernaut, and how that will help shape your future. Nancy also lets us know how she helps her clients articulate their best messaging by becoming an uncommon surprise, and she also goes into how she’ll help you become a podcast dream guest. Check it out!

Nancy’s Learning Journey and Masterminds

The Mastermind Effect:  02:06

Let’s dive into this. Our ability to learn and access people has changed over the last 5,10, or 15 years. When we were younger, they were textbooks, teachers, family, friends, and co-workers, but it’s a sliver of what’s possible. How is your learning changed from your early years versus today?

Nancy Juetten:  02:25

In the last 12 months, my learning has changed to being virtual learning, where I’m connecting with experts and entrepreneurs around the world. Thanks to the beautiful connection of Zoom. You can be with people and get to listen to and benefit from their wisdom and share your wisdom with them. It’s amazing the kind of breakthroughs you can have when you make the decision to connect and serve truly.

The Mastermind Effect:  02:55

Do you feel that you were missing out on a piece before we were forced into that area where we’re like, now it’s just secondhand nature? Do you feel that as things ease to open up, you’ll take a hybrid of that virtual connection, which allows you to talk to anyone around the world and mix that a little bit face-to-face, which I think is still so important?

Nancy Juetten:  03:20

I am so eager to put my arms around people I love, hug, connect, and be in the same room with people I admire. I think that I’m going to do both. It used to be that you get on a plane and go to a three-day mastermind somewhere. Get on a plane and spend three days at a live event. Energetically, there’s nothing better than being in a room with people where shifts and transformations are happening. I think that the most recent time that we’ve had is creating an awful lot of innovation, and people have been able to pivot and create transformation online. For those who are slightly introverted, and I would identify with that, I love the whole virtual thing. I can manage my energy properly. I can be with people and be fully present. If I need to go and recharge my energy, I don’t have to apologize for it. That’s the silver lining of what we’ve all been contending with.

The Mastermind Effect:  04:18

That’s the thing. You need to find that silver lining and the support system. By doing that through a mastermind or coaching, you can move the needle. You can find a way through, and they’ll help you. 

We have more ways now to take in information than ever before, and it can be confusing. There are so many different platforms and different ways to learn. It’s like information overload. Some people look for a mastermind, mentor, accountability partner, online courses, and lots of ways to learn. Who are you currently learning from, and more importantly, how did you connect with them?

Nancy Juetten:  04:58

The expert I’m currently investing in learning and gaining as much mastery as possible is Kelly Roach. She is the founder and CEO of the Unstoppable Entrepreneur. I first learned about her by listening to her on a guest podcast that she was doing with Ali Brown. Kelly Roach said that all this current training about online launching was putting a lot of people in a state of great disappointment. She decided that she wanted to see, hear and celebrate people in a new way to launch that would feel more connected. It’s been one of my core values to see, hear and celebrate clients from the first moment I made them. So when I heard her talk about this, I’m excited to learn from this woman. She has this method called the Live Launch Method that she teaches over a five-day free window. I was so compelled by how it was delivered, the connections created, the value she poured, and the fact that it was done virtually that I felt called to invest in this Unstoppable Entrepreneur program. While I’m only in the first several months of it, I’ve already made back my investment, and I’ve got huge leaps ahead still to make. So I’m a fan already. 

I don’t think any of us succeeds alone. I think we have to surround ourselves with others who lift us higher. That’s a quote from Oprah Winfrey. When you find someone whose philosophy is so aligned with what you believe, the picture that’s painted feels realistic and doable, and there are resources available to support you every step of the way; you either know that it’s the right thing for you, or it’s not. If it is calling to you, go ahead and go all in. That’s certainly been my approach, and I haven’t been disappointed. I’ve been that way with every mastermind I’ve ever invested into. If I’m going to say yes to something, I will be all in all the way. I’m going to take 100% responsibility for my activities and my results. I will never assign blame to someone; it’s always my responsibility. But if you’re judicious about those groups you join, you belly up to the bar and go all in; you’ll come out of it better than you were when you started. You’ll probably be astounding yourself with how much better your results are going to be.

The Mastermind Effect:  07:26

That’s so important, taking responsibility for your actions. Now, there could be the wrong mastermind or coach, but when you find that right cohesive, symbiotic relationship, like what we’re building something around that with a Success Finder. And then you sit there and say, “Hey, it’s on me to implement and activate what I need to do,” then the results are limitless. 

Nancy Juetten:  08:01

I’ve done that my whole life. The day we’re recording is my 20th business anniversary. I was doing a lot of reflection about what happens over 20 years. What has happened over 20 years? Let’s face that the Twin Towers went down; that was a bad day. The Great Recession happened; that was a bad year. COVID-19 happened, a disruption for all of us. Life is going to happen. Then when you bring it down to a more granular level, there will be people in your life that will suffer a disease, a diagnosis, a divorce, and some crazy and random thing that no one was expecting. When you look back over 20 years, in the ups and the downs of it, what is the common theme? Did I invest in myself? Did I take a chance on myself? Did I go all in to make it happen? Who’s responsible? We can either be taken down when things go left or use that as an inspiration to rise up.

Over 20 years, I can say that that has been my pattern. I have invested considerably in masterminds over the years to the point that it was almost uncomfortable, the magnitude of the investment that I made. And yet, to the degree to which I invested, it caused me to find a whole new gear to perform because I recognize that the sacrifice my family was making to allow for me to invest in this way was something that I needed to bring back to my family in terms of tangible rewards that they would experience through our home and the kinds of experiences we could enjoy together and the memories that we could make. 

I do think that there is something to be said for getting uncomfortable when you invest. But as I look back, I think that we should check our gut at the door to see if we can endure that for the length of time that’s going to be required because getting super-duper uncomfortable, there are consequences to that.

The Mastermind Effect:  10:00

One of the things I said and heard from someone smarter than me is “comfort kills.” The minute you become comfortable, you can’t see what’s coming around the corner and that pothole that you’re about to step in. But through a mastermind, you’re going to get uncomfortable. A mastermind can take you to all sorts of places and make you realize what is possible. 

I feel that people get stuck, and sometimes we don’t know how to execute what’s in our head. We’ve been talking about masterminds.  As we’re still going through a pandemic, I feel that this allows us to have a reset and how we’re able to accomplish things or move the needle forward. How masterminds and coaching helped you when you’re looking to reset and get unstuck?

Nancy Juetten:  11:06

I’ll tell you something that did happen. I got invited to a VIP mastermind with some of the biggest names in internet marketing about five years ago.  I was earlier in my journey, and I still hadn’t broken through to a high ticket offer that I felt great about. I found myself in a room with 72 of the biggest names in the industry, listening to the quality of their conversations, the magnitude of the problems they wanted to solve, and the kinds of answers that were being so generously shared. It was such a privilege to be in the room to hear that conversation because even though they were along their journey further than I was, the insights that I could keep are still with me. 

I remember that the mastermind hosts were so generous and said, “There will be no one left unheard. Nancy, we haven’t heard from you. Please speak up, share who you are, what the problem is, and let’s see if we can support you.” I introduced myself as the author of the Bye-Bye Boring Bio Workbook, which is the ultimate action guide to get seen, heard, celebrated, and compensated for your expert status. And just across the room was Alex Mandossian, known as the Warren Buffett of the internet. He sat up very tall in his chair and looked me right in the eye. I could tell if he was interested. 

At the end of this exchange, where he was sharing ideas about what could solve my problem and helped me pivot as you say, he got out of his chair, walked across the room in front of all these people, extended his hand, and said, “I’m Alex Mandossian. I’m so happy to meet you. This is my credit card. I want to buy your book, and I want you to help me write my bio. Help you help me with my sizzle reel, and who knows what else is going to happen.” And I’m just sitting there thinking if this like really happening to me. And it was happening to me. Not long after that, he was so impressed with how I supported him and the work that I have done that he invited me to be an interview guest on his show which, as I checked today, over almost 3000 people have watched it. He was so generous in positioning me as someone who could solve this particular problem in a world-class way. There are 3000 more people that know my name that never would have known it if not for this man’s incredible generosity.

So if we’re not sure what pivot we’re going to make, get yourself in a cool room with generous people because that was a game-changer for me. Not only for what could happen going forward in dollars and cents, but what could happen between my ears in terms of who I would get to hang out with and co-create wonderful things in support of others who are just like me. There are all kinds of pivots that you can have when you get in the right room. So be open to all of them.

Self-Education and Nancy’s Experience

The Mastermind Effect:  14:02

I recently heard someone that after three months of doing their new program, they call themselves the expert in their field. Now they’ve been at it for three months. Here’s what I want to point out by him standing up, saying, “Hey, I want to work with you.” And then having on the podcast, he helped strengthen your credibility. He gave you the product expert thing. You didn’t dump that upon yourself. That’s the amazing thing with the mastermind; they’ll help you build that credibility and that bridge. It’s so intricate because everyone wants to see the people moving forward and succeeding. And that’s an amazing story that you shared with us right there. That’s the mastermind effect right there—the name of the show. 

Staying in the realm of masterminds, they’ve been around for a long time. The apostles probably the first one, even though they didn’t call it a mastermind, and then Benjamin Franklin, who has the Judo Club or the Leather Apron Club. And then eventually, Napoleon Hill writes a book on it. There continues to be a large boom in self-education. Where do you see the parallels moving between standard education versus self-education?

Nancy Juetten:  15:22

We all are responsible to ourselves to pursue lifelong learning in every possible way that we can. If you’ve already got your degree from the university, it doesn’t mean you’re done. How many books are you reading every week? How many podcasts are you listening to? How many mind-bending interviews are you taking in to expand your own perspective? To the extent that we can take responsibility for our growth, there’s no limit to how much further we can grow and what we can learn. I don’t think we’re ever done. Those people who decide that they’re done, I would imagine that their world isn’t quite as larger expansive as people on the other side of that opinion.

The Mastermind Effect:  17:11

There’s no right or wrong answer, whether it’s traditional versus self-education. They both have their place. They both serve an amazing purpose. The key when we talk about education is saying never stopped learning. Why? Because I did that for a long time, I built a successful company. Why stopped learning per se, at least the way that I like to learn. Don’t stop learning just because your years of traditional education are over. You can do it every day.

Nancy Juetten:  17:49

Here’s something that you and I exchanged a week or two ago. Many people are very self-interested. They want to talk about what they’ve accomplished, what they have achieved, and their agenda. One of the things that I like to do is explore who I’m meeting before I even meet them. I like to listen to their podcasts and podcasts where they were a guest to find out what their backstory was. To the extent that I pay more attention to the people I’m meeting than considering my own agenda. That has been my secret sauce all along because it’s so powerful to demonstrate to someone that you care enough about them to invest real time to find out what makes them special. It’s uncommon and differentiating. 

That’s one of the things that I’ve always done to demonstrate that I care. It’s one thing to say that you want to see, hear, and celebrate others. It’s another thing to do what it takes to demonstrate that in a way that is uncommon. To the extent that we can be uncommon in our approach to everything we do, we will be memorable, distinctive, and appreciated. That often does set the stage for people to want to see how you can be more in a relationship, whether it’s a business relationship or anything else.

The Mastermind Effect:  19:17

It’s about being more interested than interesting. That takes you so much further on what you can listen to, learn and give back right there. 

Typically when someone invests in their future, they have a better than a vague idea of the outcome and could be some form of expectation. What should people expect when they come to you and enter Nancy’s reality to work with you?

Nancy Juetten:  20:10

Speakers, experts, and authors, who want to raise their voice, make their impact, and make money every step of the way will be guided step by step to accomplish those objectives. I will apply my velvet boot of accountability to make sure that they keep reaching higher and further to advance their mission, message, and bottom line.

Nancy Juetten:  20:41

I’m the nicest gal on earth until I’m not.  Someone said to me the other day, “I want to grow my Facebook group to 300 members so that I can do a live launch event and accomplish new enrollments to my program. And I said, “Well, what’s the state of your Facebook group today?” I have 38 members. I said, When are you going to add a zero to the right of it, and how fast are you going to make it happen? I’m paying attention. She just says, “Well, I guess I better get that done.” 

In the internet world, they say that only 3% of the people paying attention are ready, willing, and able to buy at this present moment. 3% of 38 is a very small number. If your program is $5,000, $10,000, $30,000, or whatever it is, you probably need more people in your group for it to work out. So get more people in your group. 3% of 3000 could be a real number there, and those people investing meaningfully to be participating at that level. We have to keep on building and serving our audience. We have to demonstrate that the audience is not just names, but they’re human beings who have needs that need to be filled in a powerful way that will make their life better. To the extent that we can make that connection and make that invitation and have the people believe that you are the solution to that problem, that’s how the magic happens.

The Mastermind Effect:  22:14

Find a way to solve a problem. When you do that, you’re leading with the give mentality. You’re making a shift in your mindset and the people you’re going to attract and the people around your mastermind, your coaching your program, whatever that is.

Nancy Juetten:  22:31

I was just having a chat with a gal today who is a copyright expert, and she helps protect your goldmine. If someone absconds with your website content, your logo, or your branding, there’s some repair that you can do. We were talking about it today. I said it’s really hard to sell protection or prevention. People know they need it, but it’s not very sexy. What if somebody is in the thick of it and needs to get the problem solved now because someone’s going to take down their website or something. Why don’t you create some kind of SOS goldmine intervention package, where someone stuck in the middle of that morass right now can have your service to solve the problems so they can get out of that morass as soon as possible. She said, “Oh, my God, this is going to be so much more powerful than the unlikely event that some lousy thing is going to happen, and you want protection, just in case.

Finding that urgency piece is where a lot of people struggle—so being in a mastermind where you can chat about what is going to be the trigger that’s going to compel the person to actually jump, getting to that place. Sometimes it’s hard to get there if you’re doing it alone. You really need to talk it out.

The Mastermind Effect:  23:49

It’s so difficult, especially in the entrepreneurial world, but just as humans to go alone. It just doesn’t make sense. Why not surround yourself with smarter, harder, and faster people than you?

Nancy Juetten:  24:01

That’s what Oprah said, surround yourself only with people who lift you higher. Jack Canfield said you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. He also said drop out of the Ain’t It Awful Club and hang out with people who have a better attitude. Those are some of the best lessons I’ve learned as I’ve read books and attended masterminds and live events. Certain quotes stick with me. And drop out of the Ain’t It Awful is a really good club to get out of when there are so many good things you could accomplish if you’re hanging out with cooler people that saw the possibilities instead of the obstacles. 

The Mastermind Effect:  24:49

Get away from that stinking thinking. Shift rooms or change rooms, it’s really easy. 

Nancy Juetten:  25:03

Funny little story real quick. I’m sure that I’m not the only person in the world who has struggled with overcoming underearning or applying value to what I do. I think women, in particular, suffer from this. I’m over it now.  

I remember being in a group with this very talented woman. She was a financial coach. She would have these events to help women overcome underearning, and you’d go to these events. There would be these downtrodden women looking very unconfident and very dour. She would teach these lessons about overcoming underearning. I’m going to these events, and I’m learning whatever it is, and pretty soon, my wardrobe is better, my makeup is better, and my hair is better. And all of a sudden, my business is better. 

I still am so loyal to this financial coach.  I go to the next overcoming under earning meeting.  I’ve already broken six figures, and things are going well, but I love this woman.  I look around the room, and I’m going, “these are not my people. I have graduated; this is not the club that I need to belong to anymore.” I can still be friends with the lady running it because she’s brilliant, but I am not struggling with that problem anymore. So if we are advancing along the path to mastery as professionals and as human beings and elevating our expectations about what we should achieve and accomplish, sometimes we have to revisit who we’re hanging out with and reach a little higher.

The Mastermind Effect:  26:39

You want the people around you to change rooms. The minute you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room. 

I feel that the people that you work with have grit and a grind in how they’re able to succeed and move the needle. Give us a success story of someone that worked with you and what was the outcome because of that, that they maybe they didn’t even see coming?

Nancy Juetten:  27:10

This is a really powerful story. A couple of years ago, I held Raise Your Voice Make Your Impact dinner meetings up and down the coast between California and Washington.  I would invite movers and shakers to come to this dinner that I would host, and they could bring a friend. I had this group of eight amazing people around the room. One of them was unfamiliar to me. But I poured so much value over that dinner. She was the top 1% divorce attorney that wanted to create a coaching program around slaying your negotiations with a narcissist. Still, she knew nothing about internet marketing or how to do it. She decided to work with me in my small intimate group scenario. I taught her the basics of Internet Marketing: how to attract leads, be visible with podcast guesting and speaking, and create a signature talk. I taught her how to do so much. 

If you google her name today, she has millions and millions of subscribers on her YouTube channel. She’s making serious money selling her course on How To Slay Your Negotiations With A Narcissist. She says I want to write a book. But I want a really important person to write the foreword. And I said, “Who do you want to write the foreword?” She said Robert Shapiro, who was involved in the OJ Simpson thing. I said, let’s google him, and let’s find him. Let’s write him a note, and I suggested to her what she could say. The next day, Robert Schapiro wrote back and said, “I got your message, Rebecca. I’d love to write the foreword for your book. Not only that, but I’d love to invite you to this charitable thing I’m doing where you’re going to be in the room with all these critical people, and it’s going to change the trajectory of your life.” 

Those are the kinds of outcomes that Rebecca welcomes to working with me. It was just magic. Rebecca Zung started with me, but now she’s in a whole other category. I’m just proud to say that I was there when it started, and I was the catalyst to support her growth.

The Mastermind Effect:  29:18

Listen to what Nancy just said on how she got that trajectory and how working together and what she’s learned from her experiences are helping other people. Let that sink in on the connections that your person through your course was able to achieve. 

Nancy Juetten:  29:38

One of the things that I’m proud of is sometimes clients come to me because I’m good with messaging, speaking, and articulating what’s special and different about anyone. I wrote the book Bye-Bye Boring Bio, and I’ve made a career out of that. But many of my clients go on, and their success certainly eclipses anything that I have achieved. These people become my lifelong friends. 

I am not a transactional kind of mentor or coach. The people I work with sometimes become so close to me that when the official business relationship is over, the personal relationships sustain for years afterward. These people are still in my world. I think that’s an incredible compliment to all of us for creating a relationship that lasts and being willing to support and cheer each other on beyond the official engagement.

The Mastermind Effect:  30:46

To continue the relationship in a different way after the coaching has said a lot. The people that you’re working with, they’re still involved in your life, and you’re still involved in their life. 

Nancy Juetten:  31:03

You can say you see, hear, celebrate and champion people, but it’s another thing to demonstrate it. How you show up and how you do anything is how you do everything. It’s one thing to have the words, and it’s another to have the actions. 

Sometimes people will reveal that they are dealing with something tough, an illness, dementia with the family, or some reason or an excuse that they choose to not proceed with whatever it is. Can you be that uncommon person that reaches out two weeks later and says, “You mentioned that you’re having challenges with your mom and her dementia? How are you doing? Is there something I could do to support you? I did that very recently. And the woman said, of all the people, I never would have expected that you would be the only one that would reach out. 

If you know people who are having a hard time, be that one that reaches out to say, “Hey, I’m thinking about you. I know this isn’t easy. Is there something I can do to support you?” It’s such a gift. And when the time comes when life isn’t quite so Rocky, and they’re ready to roll up their sleeves and get to work, you’re likely going to be at the top of their list because you demonstrated that you cared about them beyond whatever the deal was. That’s the stand I take for people that I care about and that I work with.

The Mastermind Effect:  32:28

I’ve had different guests on here, and I’m not always the best at remembering. So I make myself a follow-up note.

Nancy Juetten:  32:56

Be uncommon in that way as a human being. In the internet world where I’ve been living for the last over ten years, I ran a public relations agency for the first number of years. It’s been internet marketing since about 2010. People are always saying grow your list. Remember that attached to every email is a human being who has a life, hopes, dreams, problems, and challenges. To the extent that you can reach out to these people with heart, smarts, and care about them as human beings, you’re going to have a lot of greater connection with those people. When they’re ready to enroll in whatever it is that you have to offer, you’re going to be at the top of the list because you were a human being too.

The Mastermind Effect:  33:45

You’d mentioned something if you wouldn’t mind repeating it. It was something you show up and what you say because I just think that was very important. I wanted that to be a sticking point in what we were talking about

Nancy Juetten:  33:59

It’s one thing to say or write on your website that you care about, believe, or stand for certain behaviors, beliefs, missions, or important results. But when you show up through your behavior to demonstrate that, that’s where you become uncommon and preferred. 

The Mastermind Effect:  34:35

It’s relationship capital. It reverberates and comes back around because you lead with the give mentality. 

You’re doing it because it’s important to who you are. And that’s what people need to realize whether you’re on camera off-camera, working with friends, family, colleagues, or whatever it is. Nancy is who Nancy is, seven days a week.

Nancy Juetten:  35:01

I am a professional speaker and a trainer. I’ve been doing that for a very long time. I’m very authentic and genuine in the way I deliver my message, just the way I am right here during this program. Sometimes, when you were able to travel, I get on an airplane and step out of the cab and be out my feet on the property of the hotel; I’m the same person that from the moment my foot hits the pavement at that hotel as I was when I was doing the pre-interview for them to hire me to go and do it. I’m very aware that the more known you are, the higher expectation that people have that you’re going to be all that. Being consistent takes all the pressure off.

The Mastermind Effect:  35:48

Consistency is key and just who you are as a person.

Nancy Juetten:  35:58

This is a cool story about who you are being. I had this little mini mastermind I was running for a while. It was a fairly meaningful investment to be a part of it. It wasn’t something that people would do lightly. And I was involved in the National Speakers Association, in another local group here in town, and in some other online thing. We don’t know who our lurkers are, but some people are lurking and watching all the time. 

One day, this woman calls me, and she says, “I knew you were going to the NSA event, so I went too.  I knew you were going to this event, so I went too because I’ve been watching you. I’m looking for someone like you to help me with this particular problem that I’m trying to solve. I wanted to make sure that who you were in real life is the same person you show up to be online. And I’m absolutely convinced.” She said, “I want to place in your program.”  And I said, “Well, I’m so honored. That’s wonderful. Thank you so much.” She says, “I want to meet you in person and pay you in cash.” And I said, “Okay, how about this? Why don’t you come to my home and we’ll have I’ll brew up a pot of tea, and we’ll have some pastries, and we can go over the paperwork. And if everything’s acceptable to you, we can go ahead and say you can take care of it.” She said okay, and so she comes over to the house. I said, “Well, any questions you have?” And she says, “I’m ready to pay you now.” She had this envelope, and it had quite a lot of money, like thousands of dollars. And I said, “Well, thank you so much.” And she said, “I want you to count it.” And I said I trust you. She said, “No, I want you to take out this money and count it. Because I want you to feel the energy of the money as you counted. Feel the measure of my commitment to succeeding in your program. And I’m modeling for you what I would hope that my clients will do for me when they decide to invest with me.” I was completely gobsmacked because I never held that much cash in my hand at any given time. There is something to the energy of money and the level of commitment that she made and how I showed up on her behalf. 

I’ve never forgotten that story. I even asked her to take a picture of me with all this money in my hand. That money was a demonstration of her commitment to her success, and we were both crystal clear about it. She accomplished magnificent things. If we can all show up to the degree of commitment that she demonstrated, then every mastermind would have a lot more success to celebrate.

Defining Success

The Mastermind Effect:  39:04

Thank you for sharing that. That’s the power. That’s the stuff people don’t always get to hear and see. That’s the power of working with someone like Nancy. That’s the power of being in the right mastermind and surrounding yourself with the right people. It reverberates,  it vibrates, and it continues like a pebble in the pond. 

I’ve got a few more questions. When I talked with my coaches, we talked about success, the pillars of success, and what it takes to be successful. A few that come to mind are mentorship, experimentation, partnerships, willingness to fail. Then on the flip side, willingness to succeed because so many people don’t define success because when we define success, we, in essence, defined failure, and that’s a scary thought right there. What do you think is a key factor when it comes to being successful?

Nancy Juetten:  40:01

One of the biggest factors to being successful is having the courage to ask for what you want. If you don’t ask for what you want, you may not get what you asked for.

The Mastermind Effect:  40:12

That’s simple. I love simple answers sometimes because it makes you think, and you can dive into it.

Nancy Juetten:  40:21

Another question that I think is really important is what kind of business do you want to build in the first place? Some people want to build an empire that will survive them. Some people want to build a high-end boutique business, where it’s going to be them, a virtual assistant, and a few contractors that support them. 

If I had to do it again, I wish I would have answered that question 20 years ago. It’s so intoxicating, the pictures painted about what’s possible to build an empire and what can happen if all of that happens. Not everybody is Sara Blakely of Spanx, who figures out a solution to a particular problem and creates the solution that she created. Some of us are specialists or boutique providers. There’s no shame or blame in making that choice. Generally, the boutique track is probably the choice that I should have made and should have been more deliberate about, but I think I got a little waylaid by the hype. 

It’s important to ask important questions. Ask for what you want so that you can get it. Also, dig into what kind of a business model will be sustainable and enjoyable for you to love your life and work. There are plenty of people that have bought themselves into a business model that may be very lucrative, but they’re very unhappy. One without the other isn’t good enough.

The Mastermind Effect:  42:01

Some questions are very obvious that they’re there, and we choose not to ask ourselves or the people around us that we trust. Our coaches, mentors, and family members will be willing to listen. You might not have the answer or they might not have the answer, but they can help work through that. 

Nancy Juetten:  42:33

Maybe you don’t learn that until you’ve been at it for 20 years. Perhaps you couldn’t possibly know when you started that that was not the right path for you. 

I’ll never forget this other story. When you’re starting your first business, you think I just want clients, and I just want to do this thing that I do. I want to do it every day because I’m so good at it. I remember that I had a very prestigious client who had a very big name. But the marketing director that I was working with was hard to work with and I felt very discounted by this person. I’m thinking that I’m working with this world-class client, but I hate every minute of it because of the way I feel in my relationship with this particular person of influence. I was complaining about it to my CPA, and he said, “You got into business for yourself because you wanted to make money. Have fun and make money, and one without the other isn’t good enough.” He says, “Well, you need to get this client off the books and replace them with someone you feel better about.” 

I had another colleague who ran a financial planning practice and was pretty successful at it. He says people just don’t get to come in here just because they want to. I said, “What do you mean?” He says if someone wants to come in, I tell them, “I’m so honored that you want to work with us. The new business development committee is meeting next week, and we’ll let you know if you’ve made the cut.” I remember thinking to myself, “Wow, that sounds so exclusive.” It sounds so exclusionary, but he said it with such conviction.  I thought someday, and I’m going to be like that. I’m only going to let the cool people behind the velvet rope. 

Another thing to consider is making sure if this really the ideal person I should be working with? Or should I refer them elsewhere so they can get a better outcome? 

The Mastermind Effect:  44:45

It’s a good feeling when you can sit there be like, “Nope, we’re not for each other.” And that’s okay when you can turn business away. 

Nancy Juetten:  44:59

That takes a while to learn how to do that. Another little lesson is to stop trying to make not your people your people. If it doesn’t feel like a fit, don’t commit on either side.

The Mastermind Effect:  45:17

There are new ideas brewing in times of prosperity. When the world’s winning, it’s easier to win or to get people to attract people. But I think ingenuity and creativity come when we feel the squeeze, and we’re still feeling the squeeze. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excite you?

Nancy Juetten:  45:43

I am very excited about guiding experts, authors, and speakers to become the podcast dream guest that top hosts like you can’t wait to book. When I guide all those folks to become podcast dream guests that top hosts can’t wait to book, they’re going to be able to make the connection with people of influence on a do-it-yourself basis without hiring an expensive agency. They’re going to be able to advance their mission and their message and make money every step of the way. 

It is a full-service circle moment that a publicist like me who started in the old school world of newspapers has come full circle to the virtual world where podcast guesting is the hot thing to do. All those publicity skills that I’ve honed over decades, and all the talents I have for seeing, hearing, and celebrating others, I can impart that to a whole army of experts, speakers, and authors who have messages to share that need an audience to hear them. I’m looking forward to that

The Mastermind Effect:  46:44

There is an art to it. There is a networking component. There are so many different things in being on a podcast because when you’re there, you have a responsibility. Any listener out there who wants to be a podcast guest; you have a responsibility in the information as a podcast host and a podcast guest. You have a responsibility on the impact of the effect that someone that is listening that it will make on their life. Don’t go into it lightly. Don’t do it because it’s the cool thing to do.

Nancy Juetten:  47:24

Well, to that end, we are having a long-form conversation, and there could have dozens, hundreds, or thousands of people that listen to us at some later point. Are they made better for the conversation that we had? Did they get the opportunity to meet both of us to the point that they would know that finding more about what mastermind would be right for them and that you’re the guy to show them how? If they want to become the podcast dream guest that maybe I could help them? A lot of the enrollment has already happened if people enjoyed this conversation. 

The most important thing about podcast guesting is to remember that there’s a very influential host on the other side of that microphone. When the microphone goes silent, there’s going to be an opportunity to explore how else you can support each other in business and who else you can be introduced to or that you can introduce them to help advance their greater good. There are five-star reviews you can post for that podcast host. There are subscriber buttons that can be pressed so that more listeners could be watching. Don’t just think about what you want; think about what that podcast host wants. Awesome things will unfold when you consider everyone’s interests and see how you can advance them all just by showing up and being of service in that way.

The Mastermind Effect:  48:44

If you want to connect with Nancy, find a way to enter her world. Start commenting, building the value, creating that relationship, and appreciating what she does.

Nancy Juetten:  49:07

When we started this conversation, you asked me who I was invested in and how I met them? I’m invested in Kelly Roach’s Unstoppable Entrepreneur Program. It’s a year-long program, and it was a meaningful investment. How did I meet her? I met her by listening to a long-form conversation with another former mentor, Ali Brown. I was so impressed by the quality of the conversation they had and what differentiating her approach was that I couldn’t stop myself from enrolling in a five-day training challenge that she hosted. And I was so impressed by how she delivered that content that making the decision to say yes to her program was an easy yes for me. 

It started with a podcast. I wasn’t thinking about buying anything. I was just riding my bike or walking my dog. Look at me now fully invested in getting great results. People are listening to this podcast and saying, “Gosh, these people sound interesting. Maybe I’m going to take away a lesson from this and want to take a step further in either one of our directions. I believe that the right people will be invited to do so.” The people that aren’t interested will be running in the opposite direction. But to the extent that we can use our time wisely to talk to more of the right people, it’s a win. 

The Mastermind Effect:  50:25

What is a tip, a tactic, or an actual item that if someone listening to this implemented this over the next 30, 60, or 90 days, they would see a real impact on their personal or business life?

Nancy Juetten:  50:36

Become the podcast dream guest that top hosts can’t wait to book and invite new clients to become part of your world so that you can profit and serve in the way that only you can. It is the single most powerful strategy in the post-COVID-19 environment to catapult you to a level of visibility, credibility, and profitability that you can write home to mom about.

The Mastermind Effect:  51:02

If that’s what you’re looking for and what you want to do, reach out. You’ve got the resources, and you’re listening to it right now. Reach out to Nancy and become part of her group. It’s a free group with so much value. Add right there. Start right there. If you’ve got one thing to do, start and go over to the Facebook group, join it and go from there. Build your adventure from there. 

We have got the founder of Get Known Get Paid, Nancy Juetten. Nancy, thank you so much for your time today and everything that you gave here.

Resources Mentioned:

Tweetable Quotes:

There are actually different pivots that you can have when you get into the right room, so be open to all of them.” – Nancy Juetten

“We are all responsible to ourselves to pursue lifelong learning in every possible way that we can.” – Nancy Juetten

Connect with Nancy Juetten on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Youtube. Check out her Facebook Group and her website https://getknowngetpaid.com/.

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

118: Dr. Yishai Barkhordari (Solo) | Understanding the Gap Framework

I’m Dr. Yishai, and I’m hijacking the solo show to talk about my framework, the gap framework for creating lasting change and transformation.

I want to talk a little bit about what I call a gap framework. That’s an understanding that the way change happens can either really be a threat for ourselves or a business, or it can be an opportunity. But creating and harnessing change that’s happening isn’t always easy. There are three important phases for change and creating lasting change in yourself, which are important and meaningful. Between each of those phases and even after those phases, there are gaps. When we fail to traverse those gaps, when we don’t have those bridges built, and we can’t make it from one phase to the next, that’s where change falls out from under us. I see that over and over and over again. I see it in entrepreneurs. I get calls, and I speak with entrepreneurs daily. Some of them are just starting. Some of them are leaders or CXOs of large corporations.

I spoke to someone two months ago, and they just called me the other day again. When I spoke to him two months ago, they talked about something and asked me for advice. So I gave them some advice and pointers. I offered them some direction and some things to think about and to do. Then two months later, just the other day, I get this phone call. They had gotten over that crisis, but they just came back and asked more or less for the same piece of advice. For some reason, it didn’t get in or settle in.  So for me, it prompted me to make sure that I understand what’s going on for them. I’m also thinking about whether or not they would be an ideal client. Whether or not there’s someone who is interested, willing, or able and where they’re missing those steps where their gaps are.

The first piece I want to talk about in the gap framework is gathering. The first thing we need to do is gather info and data. If we don’t know what’s not working, it will be impossible to make a change. If we don’t know what we want or need to change, we’re not going to be able to make a change. It’s hard to do something differently if you have no idea what isn’t working, what you might need to or want to accomplish, and how to go about it. Gathering is all about consumption. The thing about that is 90% of people who buy info products or courses don’t complete it and don’t get their results. That’s why I think people say information is free because all the information in the world doesn’t create change. There’s an old ad back then when cigarettes were first advertised as being not so great for you and unhealthy. All these ads about how cigarettes were harmful didn’t reduce the amount of people who were smoking cigarettes. It increased people’s smoking. So the thing is, just having information doesn’t create change.  There’s a gap in that process. One of the secrets there is just taking information and just consuming doesn’t really change necessarily how we think or how we process, nor does it lead to the second step in the gap framework, which is applying.

Applying is all about “how.” It’s not about what we want to do or what needs to change. It’s about how do we then take new information, knowledge, experience, wisdom, or something that somebody else is giving us and apply that for ourselves. Now there’s always a process. That process is we need to attempt, observe and calibrate. You need to try something, check out whether or not it’s working or how well it’s working, and then make shifts and changes and tinker with it. That process is about achieving, getting results, and improving your results. I dive into that much more in my podcast, The Business Couch with Dr. Yishai, Episode 123, called Why Small Imperfect is Better. It’s really important to apply something, understand how to apply it and why and how that process works or when it doesn’t. It’s a huge piece of this because there are people who attempt to observe, calibrate, and try to change and over and over and over again. However, they’re still struggling, failing, not getting what they want out of it, or not really accomplishing or moving towards the heights that they want to get to. That’s the second phase of this gap framework.

The last phase is proficiency or mastery. There are two kinds of pieces to that. One is, it’s so important to recognize that anytime you want to make a change, you are going to be under development; you as a person, as a learner, or as somebody who’s picking up something new. Most of us don’t understand how to structure that as a developmental process. My psychology background has taught me a lot about developmental processes, from infancy into adulthood and across the lifespan. Also, understanding that whenever we’re learning, acquiring a skill, or trying to change how we think and what we do, that there’s a process, and you need to be intentional about how you structure that process. Otherwise, what can happen is people can try or pick up or do something and even get some improvements. But then, as soon as they stop having that support, as soon as the course is over, as soon as they stop seeing the coach, or whatever it is that’s pulling or pushing them along, it can’t fall out from under them. There’s a lot of different ways that can happen.

Another important thing to understand is that proficiency and mastery are about crystallizing or creating a new identity, a new self-story, and what we say and know about ourselves.  The gap here, where a lot of it fails, struggles, and doesn’t get what they want or get where they want, is that in becoming someone new, in essence, transformation, it’s not simple. It’s not a straight line. It’s not just that you do something once, twice, or three times, and suddenly you’re a new person. It’s not just you decide to be somebody else. You determine your identity is suddenly different, and now you’re a master at something.

Whether you’re looking for coaching, getting into a program or a course, purchasing an information product, trying to get something from someone’s experience, going to a mastermind, or whatever it is that you’re doing to make improvements, it’s really important to be intentional with this process because you’re trying to create a transformation for yourself and your business. If you spend money on someone who doesn’t understand all these different pieces and isn’t putting them all into every part of their program, then you’re not going to get everything that you want or need, and you’re not going to get that lasting change out of it.

Resources Mentioned

Tweetable Quotes:

“Adapting is not just for surviving, but the key to thriving.” – Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

“Just having information does not create change, and so there’s a gap in that process.” – Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

“Anytime that you want to make a change, you’re going to be under development.” – Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

Connect with Dr. Yishai on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram. Check out his website https://www.dryishai.com/.

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

117: Dr. Yishai Barkhordari | Adaptability as a Superpower

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari is a psychologist, executive coach, and consultant who helps leaders of multi-million dollar companies turn adaptability into their superpower to react powerfully, increase performance, and create win-win solutions that lead to growth in their business and beyond.

 

In this episode, Dr. Yishai, also known as the Adaptability Coach, talks about how our learning happens in the context of the relationships we’re in and around. He also lets us know that there are so many opportunities in masterminds to get people’s ideas from different industries and explains how these can benefit you. Lastly, Dr. Yishai talks about the reason why adaptability is your cutting edge skill. Check it out!

 

Dr. Yishai’s Learning Journey and Masterminds

 

The Mastermind Effect:  02:25

Let’s dive into it. When you and I were younger, our ability to have access to different people and learn had changed over the last 5 to 10 years. When you and I were younger, they were textbooks, teachers, co-workers, family, friends, and the people around us. But that’s a sliver of what’s possible. How is your learning change from your early years versus today?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  02:47

I think it’s grown by orders of magnitude. I will just acknowledge that I was born into a Jewish bubble, which meant that the people I knew were very closely connected to me through the religious community. And as far as being able to pursue something that I wanted to pursue, like information, knowledge, wisdom, guidance, and mentorship, it was so much harder for me to move out of that space. The only way to move out of those spaces, at least for me initially, was to go to graduate school, pick up books, and read them. Sometimes I could try to reach out to people, and reaching out to people always felt intimidating and a very hard thing to do.  I didn’t do this much because I was in a Jewish bubble, and I’m personally a little bit shy.

 

Now, there’s so much more connectivity. It’s changed for me in a huge way. It used to be like I felt I needed to reach out to people myself or ask my parents, cousins, uncle, aunt, brother, and someone to introduce me to them. Somebody I knew, had a personal history with, a professor, mentor, or somebody I already built a relationship with.

 

At this point, I do reach out to people all the time, like on LinkedIn. I look for people with shared interests or commenting on something that somebody else has posted or commented on. So, we get to have these interactions with people that I had never really been exposed to or I hadn’t been able to get connected with.  Before the internet, I grew up in an age where AOL was just starting. There were these chat rooms, but they weren’t a place for me to learn and grow more. It was a kind of felt like a bit of a social experiment.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  04:41

I think we all grow up in some form of a bubble and have that safety net in what’s acceptable and what’s allowed. Sometimes we need to be either allowed permission, or someone from that other bubble has to let us in?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  05:34

It can be hard to move out of our own bubble, and it can also be challenging to feel welcome in another bubble.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  05:41

Absolutely. As you said, you’re breaking out of that bubble, per se, asking less of questions like, am I allowed to do this, and who should I do it with. Tools like LinkedIn allow us to still sit there and have that introvert safety zone, but at the same time start having conversations that might otherwise not even exist.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  06:06

Absolutely. It’s through some of those ways of reaching out that I ended up founding and creating my own podcast.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  06:14

Give us a little glimpse of what the podcast is about so the listeners can understand.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  06:25

The Business Couch with Dr. Yishai is kind of like if you took a psychologist and an executive coach, you had them sit in the room with an entrepreneur or a leader, and you got to be a fly on the wall and listen to what unfolded. There’s digging into the parts of the business, leadership, entrepreneurship, the human side of it, the adapting, or the necessity of adapting those pieces. That’s kind of what the entire purpose of the podcast is, and that’s what you get out of it. Sometimes I like to say that it’s kind of like the mastermind you get to sit in on for free.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  07:01

I’m part of a free mastermind called Thursday Night Boardroom. You are on your way in there. Sometimes those are the best ones to be in—we get to look from the outside in and see what happens. It allows us to have ways to access more people and information.

 

The amount of information that we have now is a bit overwhelming. Some people learned from a mentor, a mastermind, online courses, accountability buddies, and lots of ways to learn. Who are you currently learning from, and how did you connect with them?

 

 

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  07:41

I need to give credit to Travis Chappell. I joined a mastermind of his. I met four or five really amazing entrepreneurs who have their own podcasts like Meghan McNeil, Eric Music, and Amber Turman. You’re going to hear a lot of that because I got connected to them, and I heard so much about podcasting. It opened up that door for me. It’s something that I hadn’t thought of or viewed as being a reality or possibility. I thought of it as something only people who have production teams and have been in this business for ages or years could do. Then I was hearing from the inside, having exposure and getting connected to them. There are 5, 6,7, or 8 entrepreneurs just in that group, and through them, I got connected. Every time I have somebody as a guest on my podcast, I’m learning from them also. I learned deeply from every one of my guests.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  08:48

This podcast right here, The Mastermind Effect, I get to learn for free. Then we can listen to it afterward, and we get to learn more. I can’t implement everything that I learned here, but I figure how it pertains to me specifically and then how I can plug that in my own Rubik’s cube. To sit there and say, “Hey, can I utilize this? Is this going to help me become more efficient and happier? And if so, then let’s do that.” It’s amazing having people on your podcast; it’s free learning. And then we, as the podcast hosts, give that out to the people, and it’s free learning for them if they choose so.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  09:26

For me, it’s also really important that every one of my guests gain something out of the conversation. Also, it’s really about them getting insight as well. I like to think about it as a win-win. I get to learn, they get to learn and gain insight, and the audience gets to learn and gain insight. If it’s not a win for everybody, then why would I do it? Why would the guests do it? And why would the audience and listen if each of us is not getting something really important meaningful out of it?

 

The Mastermind Effect:  09:55

We want to learn for multiple reasons. One of them is sometimes we get stuck in our own heads, and we don’t know how to get out of our own way. It’s like we can’t see the picture through the frame, or we can’t see the trees through the forest. The world’s still going through some form of a pandemic, but to me, it continues to cause a reset and how we can accomplish things. How have masterminds helps you when you’re looking to reset and get unstuck?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  10:23

One of the things that have been really important to me is that learning happens in the context of relationships. I’m going to tap into it. So by day, I’m a psychologist, and I’m going to add a disclaimer, I may be a psychologist, but I’m not your psychologist. And so please make sure you do your own research before taking what I’m saying.

 

From a developmental standpoint, the way children learn from the time they are born is in the context of their relationship with their caregivers. There are so many caregivers that we have across our lifetimes. Some of them are on equal footing. As we’re adults, my wife and I care for each other in many different ways. We take care of each other’s needs. And there’s something really beautiful that evolves out of that relationship. I learned tremendously about myself and her. As children,  whether it’s in preschool with our teachers or middle school or in that relationship with our parents, we learn about ourselves, the world, how to make our way in it, and how to adapt. So learning fundamentally happens in relationships.

 

There’s tons of research on this. When it comes to having a therapist, the biggest factor in terms of the therapy being helpful is the relationship between the therapist and the patient. And again, all of that is to say not everybody needs to have a therapist. The whole point there is it’s the relationship and that context of the relationship that is meaningful and important, whether it’s one on one or you get more people in the room. When you get more people in the room, you get multiple different perspectives that can come together to create something that doesn’t exist in the context of just one perspective. It’s the reason that if you raise a child away from all humans, they will not learn the same if you raise them in a group of people. There’s a reason we say, “it takes a village to raise somebody.” I think it doesn’t just exist for children; it exists for us across our lifetimes.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  12:41

I hadn’t thought about it that way. And that’s why we have you on the show. It’s not just from childhood, but it’s a continuation. And that makes more sense. When you have that caring household, you see someone who teaches the Good Samaritan, but then also practices of the Good Samaritan, as opposed to, they might teach it, but then they don’t do it. It’s probably because of who we have around us and how we continue to raise ourselves or the people around us; caregivers choose to care for us.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  13:13

Children have one job.  Their single job is to learn what the world is, how to make their way in it, how to get their needs met, and how to be a part of it. What if leaving childhood does not mean that we stop having that mission? What if our single job is still to learn about the world, how to make our way in it, how to be a part of it, and how to contribute to it?

 

The Mastermind Effect:  13:41

The child doesn’t leave itself, and we take the child-like mentality, the curiosity, and the learning. We were like, “Okay, you’re old enough, and now you can’t have this.” But when we do that, we crush the idea of why can’t we be adults continue to learn, have that curiosity mentality, saying anything is possible, and how you’ll go about the rest of your life when you don’t change. Your age changes, but your lens, per se, continues to expand.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  14:17

One of the things about learning and learning from the people around us is we learn about how to see the world and how to interact with the world. We do that in the context of the group, whether it’s caregivers, friends, family, or co-workers. We do it in that context. And I’m going to connect this to masterminds. What happens in a mastermind or in a group where you pull people from all these different contexts is that they create a new environment, a new context, where each person brings in their own learning, and we all get to learn from them that.

 

It’s like a bunch of ingredients, and each of those ingredients is like a different person in that mastermind. Each of those ingredients grew, developed, or came from its own place. So if you have salt, it came from somewhere, but it came from one context. For salt to be helpful or useful, you want to put it with pepper and a steak. Then you want to pair it with a side, and maybe a sauce. So each of those is one different context with one different background. Each of us as a person learns from our own context and environment. The beautiful thing about a mastermind is you put all of these different ingredients together, and they’re all incredibly important. They create something different that coming from our own contexts. We all learn that one thing.

 

When you were talking about how we grow up, we take that child out of us because we learn how to be the one thing we need to be in that context. When we step out of that context, and the world is so much bigger. This is something that many young adults experience. When we step out of high school and into college, we walk into a whole different environment. There’s a whole set of first, especially for people who are living on campus. The whole world starts to open up. This is one of the reasons how much growth and change happens at that time. There’s so much changing context. It’s like throwing a bunch of ingredients together.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  16:30

When you put those ingredients or the people in different industries and how they come together, it can create a perfect Symphony Orchestra of what’s possible. You might be this ingredient over here, but this ingredient over here, you’re able to pull from extract its flavor, its seasonings, its experience, and its ideas and say, “Oh, I might be different, but I can plug and play this into what I’m doing.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  17:15

I can add a little salt to my dish. I can put a little paprika. I can put a little cinnamon in there. It makes such a huge difference. Again, if we are only sitting with our own thoughts, it’s kind of like putting salt on your plate and then putting more salt on it and trying to eat it. You’re going to get a one-note. You’re going to get one flavor. It doesn’t mean that salt is bad. It doesn’t mean that salt is unhelpful or not useful. There are many circumstances under which it’s incredibly important, helpful, or useful.

 

For any of us who are entrepreneurs who are leaders, we have these backgrounds, a set of skills, this way of thinking, and it’s ours. So we get to own that, we get to do that, and we get to be that. Where growth happens, where learning happens is in the context of the relationship with other things.

 

Getting into a mastermind, the person who’s running the mastermind is like a chef. They can choose the ingredients they’re putting in and be very intentional about that. Some chefs are just so good at putting ingredients together; maybe some you didn’t even imagine would fit together. Other chefs struggle with that, or they’re learning. It’s really important to be aware when you’re signing up for a mastermind or when you’re getting into a group. What are the ingredients? Who’s the chef? You got to trust the chef. If you don’t trust the chef, it’s like going into a restaurant, and you don’t know the chef. It’s important to be intentional about it.

 

Self-Education and Dr. Yishai’s Experience

 

The Mastermind Effect:  18:44

Since we’re talking about masterminds and with a food analogy, they’ve been around for a long time. Probably the first mastermind was the apostles. And then, from there, Benjamin Franklin creates the Judo Club and Leather Apron Club. And then eventually, Napoleon Hill writes a book about masterminds. As there is a large boom in self-education, coaching, masterminds, mentorship, where do you see the parallels between self-education and standardized education?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  20:02

Education, as a system, has been directing itself towards professional and specialized work. In some arenas, it’s done in a much more standardized way, like you were talking about nursing and doctors like myself. I went to grad school, got my master’s, got a Ph.D. And I got a license. There’s all of that that comes with doing that kind of professional work.

 

For people interested in what Michael Gerber calls technical work, it’s really important to have technical education. Even there, there are a lot of different ways to do that. There are apprenticeship systems. They are very old, and they exist for a reason. Even in the medical field, or my field of psychology, we get supervision. We have somebody who reviews the work we do, gives us feedback, sits with us in the room, or watches our videos or recordings, and with whom we discuss these things. So the professional education side of it is melded itself towards very particular kinds of technical work. Even parallel to that, there are increasing amounts of self-education for certain kinds of technical work or much more specialized work.

 

Nowadays, more MBA programs or computer science do things like software engineering specifically for apps, or marketing targeted towards a particular industry, or a certain type of marketing. On the other hand, there’s so much skill that goes into that. I see a lot of self-education moving into areas where the traditional standardized education isn’t necessarily teaching technical skills. But I also want to take another step back and say, technical skill is not the only skill.

 

I’ll give an example of my grad program. They had a few different speakers come in, but I didn’t have a course on starting my own business or even a psychology practice. The business skills, entrepreneurial skills, vision skills, marketing skills,  and these different pieces of it weren’t part of the technical education that was in the standardized education.

 

Another very important piece of this is in this self-education space, there’s so much room to get the different ingredients or get people from different industries and learn about principles. Whether it’s a business or personal growth, or so many different parts of our lives, there’s so much that we can continue to learn. And that again comes back to your “our job is not only to learn like children.” But as we move into adulthood, we are also still learning, so there are so many opportunities. I just see that space expanding in terms of self-education.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  23:00

I think you’re going to see both grow. But right now, you’ve got over a $50 billion a year industry with self-education. In the next five years, they say it will be a 150 to $200 billion industry. You have to have the right chef or mastermind host and pick the right ingredients or the right type of people to help move that room forward. Because a lot of the time, it’s the people in the room where some of the biggest value comes from. The chef or mastermind host orchestrated it, but it’s all the ingredients and all the people that come along with it that make for the right dish.

 

When those individuals that are in that room or the people in the mastermind choose to invest in their future and I think investing in yourself is higher than the stock market and the housing market. I’m in both of those, but I can’t control what happens to the housing and stock market. I can, in turn, control my return on my intention or my investment in myself and the people around me. What should people expect when they choose to invest in you and, in turn, invest in themselves and work with Dr. Yishai?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  24:12

I’m going to answer in two different parts. One is that I think the skill of somebody who runs a mastermind is how they create that environment and how they facilitate that environment, which I think is incredibly important. That environment can be just you and them in a one-on-one coach, and it can also be in a group with multiple people

 

What I focus on and what I think is so incredible and so important is the environment we are in. It is an environment, like you were saying, where there’s so much information. We live in such a data age that information is not our limiting factor any more; it’s our ability to adapt as information is really multiplying.  It’s our ability to harness that information, select our direction, stay motivated and make sure that where we’re headed is where we want to be headed.

 

So for me, what I think the kind of cutting-edge skill is adaptability, which is really what I focus on. Adaptability is our ability in any set of circumstances to extract really important data about what’s happening and what we want or need to happen about what’s going on internally for ourselves and externally in our environment. It’s about direction. What direction do I want to be headed in? Do I need to change direction, or how do I change direction?  It’s about our drive and our motivation. Sometimes you may hit the gas, and sometimes you need to hit the brakes. So when it comes to the way that I conduct or direct, it is really about you learning how to harness the way our brains are designed for adaptability. The human brain is uniquely designed for adaptability. It’s one of the important reasons that we are the dominant form of life on the planet; our ability to adapt is a critical part of this. If you could tune into that and know or had the tools and frameworks to harness that, it can change everything.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  26:36

It’s when we choose to adapt. Adapting or being adaptable could be saying, “Hey, I’ve been in this room, and it’s a room full of all my colleagues, all the people in the same industry, I need to unadapt to that and grow and adapt to being comfortable with a room of people that are not my colleagues, and they do and things differently. What I’m hearing is that you help people grow into that to adapt to the room that might make them feel uncomfortable. But they need to grow and learn.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  27:14

In a lot of ways, yes. There’s the old saying that Darwin said, “We adapt to survive.” I think the next step in our evolution is adapting to thrive. It’s the difference between proactive adaptation versus reactive adaptation. The stepping into where I want or being intentional about how to get there, there’s a part of our brain that’s designed to help us do that. It’s designed to anticipate our future and help us direct ourselves and be motivated to get to that place. You can learn to tap into that. That is what I do all day when I’m adaptability hacking. That’s what I think about all day long. It’s my passion.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  27:55

Please give us a success story of someone that has been through your adaptability and what the outcome was because of that. If you can use names and specific examples, that’s great. And if we have to have it anonymously, we completely understand, but give us a success story.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  28:17

There are a few that come to mind. There’s someone who came to me, and they were really struggling with overwhelm. It’s a very common experience for a lot of entrepreneurs, especially when they just get started, that there’s always more to do than you ever potentially have time for. There’s always more that we feel like we’re putting on our plates. There are so many different directions to go and so much to do. A lot of people really struggle with overwhelm. As it turns out, though, overwhelm is actually a part of that system that’s designed to help us adapt. Overwhelm is designed to give us very specific information and push and pull us in very particular directions.

 

They came in overwhelmed because they were taking on too many projects. They were also doing way too much on their own, and so they just overloaded their plate. So I helped them understand. I said, “Let’s pick apart overwhelm and hack into the adaptability piece of this overwhelm. Overwhelm shows up under a very particular set of parameters. Overwhelm does not happen if I’m sitting in a room and I’ve got nothing to do. We just don’t get overwhelmed by that; we get bored. But we do get overwhelmed when our load is greater than our limit or when we’re carrying above our capacity. That’s significant. The way most people respond to their overwhelm is they ignore it, they get burnt out, exhausted, or drained, and they can’t do it anymore. Then they throw off as much of the load as they can, trying to make it match their limits. I said, “Look, you can keep doing that because it’s a cycle I see all the time. You can keep doing that if you want. But you’re not really tapping into the adaptability of your overwhelm.”

 

Your overwhelm is giving you data. It’s telling you that your load is greater than your limit. It’s giving you direction. Because of this really simple formula, you have two angles of attack. One is to address your load; the other is to address and expand your limits. They tend to be to show up in different circumstances. When people are acutely overwhelmed, that’s a moment where you need to address their load because they’re getting crushed under it. That’s where most people find themselves because they’re not consistently paying attention to it. But secretly, underneath that is you need to expand your limits. You need to carve out and prioritize expanding your limits. That’s a consistent process that you need to carve out time to do, and there are so many different ways to do that. You can create systems, processes, and training. You can learn to do things more efficiently. There are so many ways to expand your limits. There are tons of businesses designed to help people expand their limits for their business or themselves.

 

I helped this particular entrepreneur learn to identify and listen to their overwhelm and learn to identify the ways in which their particular flavor of overwhelm. The particular flavor of overwhelm is communicating to them about the limits that they have that need to be expanded and about the load they’re currently holding. There’s a process of picking that apart and digging into it. And of course, learning to become more adaptable is not something you can just like sign up for a half-hour and get right; it is consistent work.

 

Over time, they learned how to listen and understand the variations in how their body and brain were telling them through their overwhelm about what’s happening for themselves and their businesses. And what ended up happening was, they learned to expand their limits consistently. They learn to anticipate because their overwhelm is helping them anticipate it now instead of just ignoring it and telling them when they’re already getting crushed. So they learned to build the road ahead and build the bridges over the canyons before running over them. And it made all the difference. They turned overwhelm from being the drag into their rocket fuel.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  32:55

I love the overload and how that works in there. I can see your bandwidth and what’s coming in. How can we kind of take this so you continue to have that feeling that your bandwidth is not at capacity?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  33:27

That’s a really big piece of it. When we are above our bandwidth, everything about our productivity, quality of work, and output is all gone down—our motivation tanks. At first, we’re often really stressed, and we’re trying to get a lot done. One of the big mistakes people make when they’re getting overwhelmed is they try to borrow all the time they can from all the wrong places. They stop eating lunch, taking their walks, and working out. And there are all the different things they’re doing, trying to increase their bandwidth, but they’re doing it last minute. As opposed to what if you knew that every time you were going to go above your bandwidth, you could see it coming. I’m going to use the internet metaphor. You could call up your service provider, upgrade your modem, and your bandwidth would double. What if you know how to do that? You can learn there’s a system in your brain designed to help you do that. You get intentional about it. It changes everything.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  34:22

If you can see it before it happens, you can notify your provider, your people around you, whoever it is; they can start unloading certain pieces that you might see like, “Oh, I need to have,” and  they’re like, “No, we got this, and we’ll bring it back to you.”

 

One of my favorite ones was a few weeks ago with the Success Finder. I was on this email chain and just kept coming and coming. I didn’t feel anxiety. Then I finally emailed back. I’m like, “I believe in you guys. You got this. Just show me the final product.” Seeing all the emails come across and once I mentioned that and once I let that go, it freed them up mentally. And that’s the reality. We don’t need to see everything. You put the people in the right order inside your Rubik’s Cube, and they will take part of that off there. They will help that bandwidth always stay to have a little bit more room to continue to grow and learn.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  35:22

What I’m hearing are the kind of gimp and the bandwidth. It is that people were coming to you, and so you became the rubberneck for the bandwidth. When you release that, the bandwidth expanded, and they were able to do and think more. They felt like they could do it more independently. They knew that you had their back that you trusted them. Does that mean it’s going to be perfect? No. Does it have to be perfect? No. It means they don’t need to come to you every time for every little thing, thought, or decision in advance. That expands the bandwidth because now, there’s so much more time and freedom in our working memory or our capacity to do things at the moment. It sounds to me like that was the kink in the hose, as you would put it before.

 

Defining Success

 

The Mastermind Effect:  36:12

Sometimes we’re our own kink in the hose. We have to release ourselves from it, and it releases so many other things going on there.

 

I get a few more questions as we get closer to the end. I feel that in times of prosperity, it’s easier to find those winds; the winds just kind of roll in as the world wins. But I think ingenuity and creativity come when we feel the squeeze and the world still feeling the squeeze in all different aspects. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excites you?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  36:44

I am excited to put together a group, whether it’s group coaching or mastermind. I want to make sure the ingredients come together and create the recipe that’s desired and helpful. I’m looking forward to being able to put a group together, where people are learning how to tap their adaptability, holding that together and coming at it from all these different perspectives, and being able to really with each other learn how to imbibe that, both for themselves and then from each other.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  37:20

We hope to be a part of that.  We hope to help with that growth inside of the Success Finder and guide you along that way.

 

What’s a tip, a tactic, or an actual item that, if anyone listening today implemented this over the next 30, 60, or 90 days would see a real impact on their personal or business life?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  37:55

Many of us were aware that we have a gut. Our gut tells us to do things. Some of us ignore it or don’t pay attention to it. Some of us pay attention to it in some ways and then ignored it in others. I want to say it’s not always necessarily helpful to just go with your gut.

 

If there’s one tip I would give you, it is whenever you’re noticing a gut reaction, intuition, any reaction, feeling, or emotion, you slow down and say, “What is it trying to do for me? Let me try to understand it. Where is it coming from? What is it want? What is it perhaps perceiving or helping me try to anticipate? At its core, that is the adaptive brain trying to help you adapt. It’s either anticipating something or trying to help you respond to internal or external changes, whether it’s for yourself or your business. That is what it is designed to do.

 

Slow down and ask yourself, whatever that is, whether it’s a gut reaction, an emotion, a feeling,  an intuition, an inkling. Listen to your body and your brain. It could be self-doubt. It could be so many different things. Just slow down and ask yourself what information is trying to give me. Where would it want me to go? What is it trying to do for me? How’s it trying to direct me? Because it is trying to do that. Again, it doesn’t mean that it has a total grip on reality. And that’s why it’s important to slow down and think about it. Being intentional with it can make a huge difference.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  39:30

Being intentional with your emotions and being able to tether them to a previous experience so you can see what’s happening as it’s happening a little bit faster this next go-round. I’ve always said, “Hey, I wear my emotions on my sleeve.” And slowly, those sleeves are getting longer, and it’s not having to wear it and becoming reactionary through an emotion. It’s actually like how do I take in the data that’s happening, how it’s making me feel and what is the best appropriate response to genuinely move through that, as opposed to having it cripple me.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  40:04

That’s the entirety of adaptability from my perspective. That’s the big change and transformation that can happen. Again, there are a lot of mistakes. There are a lot of things we learn about emotions that contribute to that. In this viewpoint, there’s a difference between emotion and action. Behavior and emotion are not the same things. But often, they can be so connected because our emotions are there to influence our behavior. When we’re not aware of that, we can think that the behavior is just a result of the emotion as opposed to saying, “What if my emotion is there?”

 

Again, to come back to it? I call them the three Ds of adaptation: data, direction, and drive. Emotions are designed to give us data about ourselves, our environments, and our needs. It’s there to give us direction. If you can understand that and slow that down, you can harness it. From my perspective, there’s no such thing as a negative emotion; it is just an uncomfortable one. And even uncomfortable emotions have a purpose. If you choose to harness them, it can be incredibly helpful. If you don’t, it can absolutely push you around.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  41:12

It can be like opening a present slowly. Take off the bow, unwrap the paper and work your way through that full emotion so you can give it its justice. It gets able to work its way through, but you can realize what it can do for you and how it can help you move the needle.

 

We have got the adaptability hacker himself, Dr. Yishai. Doc, thank you so much for your time today and what you have given us. I’m looking forward to listening to swinging. Thank you so much.

Resources Mentioned:

Tweetable Quotes:

“Learning so fundamentally happens in relationships.” -Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

“It’s the relationship and the context of that relationship that is really meaningful and really important; whether it’s one-on-one or you get more people in the room.” -Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

“What if our single job is still to learn about the world, how to make our way in it, how to be a part of it, and how to contribute to it.” -Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

 

Connect with Dr. Yishai on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram. Check out his website https://www.dryishai.com/

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

116: Jesse Paul Smith | Eyes on the Prize, Not on the Price

Jesse Paul Smith is a speaker, entertainer, and coach that helps high achievers take dreams and goals into results. He is also the founder of My Creative District and WorldWide Dance Challenge. These are projects that he used as tools to provide opportunities to creatives across the world whom he sees to have the potential to be a game-changer in the entertainment industry.

In this episode, Jesse talks about the importance of focusing on the reward instead of the cost, and how self-education gives you the flexibility to be who you want to be. Lastly, he also shares about the three important questions you should ask yourself to succeed: 1) Who do you want to have an impact on? 2) How can you have an impact on these people? and 3) What are the next steps you can take to get a win? Check it out!

 

The Mastermind Effect:  02:11

Just real quick, we’re going to name-drop a little bit to get their attention. You’ve danced with some of the most amazing performers and artists in the world. Would you mind sharing a couple of the names that you have worked around? What do you do when it comes to coaching or dancing? Everything is just amazing.

 

Jesse Paul Smith:  02:31

I’ve had the awesome privilege of doing some work with Justin Timberlake, Rihanna, and Channing Tatum, to name a few. I have performed on four different continents in front of over 100,000 people in my career. So I’ve been blessed.

 

Jesse’s Learning Journey and Masterminds

 

The Mastermind Effect:  02:50

I think that gets some people’s attention right there when they hear that. Jesse holds his own when it comes to those amazing artists and foremost because he’s an amazing artist, performer, coach, and so much more that we’re going to learn about today.

 

Let’s dive into this. When you and I were younger, our ability to learn had changed over the last 5 to 10 years. When we were younger, they used to be teachers, textbooks, family, friends, co-workers, and people around us, but that’s a sliver of what’s possible. How is your learning changed from your earlier verses today?

 

Jesse Paul Smith:  03:29

My dad worked for Park maintenance forestry in the city of Duluth, where I grew up, and my mom was a CAN. My dad told me, and my mom encouraged me to go to school, go to college, and do that whole nine yards because that was the thing to do. My dad wanted me to have more opportunities since he never went to college. My mom was an LPN when they had those back in the days, and so she would always encourage me to go to college because that was the route to go to have a successful career. The only way to learn was through studying textbooks. I also grew up in a Christian-focused household, and my grandfather was in ministry. He held a doctorate in theology and was always studying the Bible. So I learned a lot from studying with him. That was the way that I learned how early on to study was through books.

 

If I were going to learn through experience, it would be kind of learn on my own. I always had these dreams to do big things like getting a record deal, go to Hollywood, and performing on a big scale. Because of where I grew up,  nobody in where I was from lived that lifestyle and had any aspirations to that kind of stuff. And so, I didn’t learn the value of mentorship. It wasn’t even until I went out to California. I bailed as a dancer, came back, had a bad record deal, and failed again. At my low point, I started to believe that I wasn’t meant to do them because the things I was doing weren’t working. I didn’t have the mindset to be able to overcome failure. As Tony Robbins talked about, I would assign really bad meanings to things.

 

When I was introduced to personal growth and development and read Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins, I started to learn the value of mentorship. I got my first mentor, who ended up being a friend of mine. We had kind of parted ways over the years and came back together. When I started to learn the value of mentorship, I went from $170,000 in debt, broke, facing bankruptcy, really at a low point mentally and emotionally, to being debt-free, innovating industry, and loving life again in a matter of nine months. It is not because I learned sales techniques from a textbook, but because I spent time with somebody that poured into me and taught me through experience, and time and repetition. That changed my life forever.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  06:55

One of the things that stood out to me that you were saying is that you didn’t have anyone who had those aspirations in your town. I’m wondering, at the same point, did you have anyone that even could show you a roadmap in your hometown growing up? And that’s the biggest thing, why? Masterminds, coaching mentorship, have pre-recorded or already have the roadmap. They’re living it, they’ve lived it, whatever it is, and they can pass that along. If you don’t have those kinds of people around you, it’s really difficult to change your current position or trajectory.

 

Jesse Paul Smith:  07:33

I don’t know if it’s so much that I didn’t have people in my area that knew a roadmap; I was not introduced to the thought process of finding somebody that did. I think that’s the big thing now is people realizing that they need mentorship. When I was growing up, mentorship is like if you were a troubled kid, you needed mentors to help them turn their life around. It wasn’t so much to find somebody who was successful because you wanted to be successful, or you already wanted to find somebody killing it in business or better than you. It was always this negative connotation. That’s been the big thing for me to realize that just because I have a mentor or a coach doesn’t mean I’m broken.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  09:02

That’s so true. It’s in our DNA. Our DNA sits there and says, “This is what fits in this box, and this is how you’re supposed to do it.” When you start living out, you don’t have to live outside the box. You just live in a world without a box. You empty out your cup, and you start surrounding yourself with the right people in the right order, and those mentors and coaches appear. The opportunities start knocking.

 

Speaking in ways that we learn, there are more ways to learn than ever, and it can be a little confusing. Some people use an accountability buddy, a mastermind, an online course, and lots of ways to learn out there. Who are you currently learning from, and more importantly, how did you find them?

 

Jesse Paul Smith:  09:55

I’m blessed to be a part of the John Maxwell Team. My friend and I were growing at the time, and we started diving into this personal growth and development stuff. Before I started doing that, I heard of John Maxwell but didn’t know much about him. But in 2016, I learned about this coaching program that he had available. I joined that, and I dove headfirst into that.

 

One of the big things people do when they start getting into this world is looking at how much programs cost or the cheapest option. I’d spent a lot of money to get there. I’d already spent ten grand to get there with the trip and the program and everything. And then they were upselling me to this new mentorship program. I remember walking around and asking these people who had upgraded to that program if it was worth it. I kept mentioning the cost. Then, Paul Gustafson, a great friend of mine, says, “If you always focus on the cost, you’ll lose out on the reward.” That hit me when it came to investing in the program that was right for me. Since then, I’ve been an active participant in all of their programs. They have two conferences a year that I go to, coincidentally, because I invested in that program. It’s also the very same place that gives me permission to get back into the industry that I was so passionate about and lean into my authenticity. To become the healthy version of myself, I desperately needed permission because I was around the right types of people.

 

I’ve had the privilege of learning from him. I’ve had the privilege of learning from people in that team. When it comes to podcasting, you and I both have a friend that we learn from, Travis.  I’ve learned valuable stuff from him. I’m finding that I’m learning from as many people as I can get to.  I’ve had the benefit of interviewing people for my podcast, much like you’re doing. I’ve had some amazing guests on there—Michael Coles, former CEO of Caribou Coffee and founder of Great American Cookie company. I have this awesome opportunity to sit down and learn from these guys.

 

I’m learning about the entertainment business from one of the best Lady Gaga’s choreographers, Richie Jackson. I spent a lot of time getting familiar with the ins and outs of the entertainment company.  I’m learning as much as I can because, just like you, I found that if you want results, or learn something, learn about an industry, learn a craft, get close to the ones that are crushing it, and just model what they do.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  13:37

Someone’s probably already done it; why try to recreate the wheel. I know there’s ingenuity, there’s creativity. Things do come, but it usually is spurred from learning from other people’s mistakes,  shortcomings, or just from their successes. Watching them and taking how it pertains to you. Taking it out, plugin, and playing it in your own Rubik’s cube to where it makes sense. A couple of things you mentioned in there is they gave you permission to go back to what you love.

 

A lot of the time, we get stuck in our own heads. We can’t see the picture through the frame. We can’t see the tree through the forests. We’re still going through some form of a pandemic. But to me, it’s causing a reset and how we can accomplish things. How has masterminds and coaching helps you when you’re looking to get unstuck and give yourself permission to move forward?

 

Jesse Paul Smith:  14:41

You can learn a lot from the program, but you also learn a lot from the people. When it comes to mastermind groups, I have found that the most valuable thing is the content and the people that gather around that content. They can make just as big of an impact on you. That happened to me. We were a part of a mastermind program when I met my now business partner, Zack Knight. I was really in a weird spot. We all go through peaks and valleys. We all go through these times where we have a breakthrough. And then we all have these times where we’re completely stuck.

 

For me, I had gone through a couple of peaks and valleys. I scaled this company from a franchise that was failing for $476,000, and we crushed it and 10x the revenue to $4.4 million. In four years, we developed a sales process helping people triple their close rates without using any of these hard closing techniques. We were doing a lot of great things. But in that journey, I realized and was reintroduced to the fact that I had a really good strong skill set in sales. I was good at leading teams, and I was good at building teams. But you have to remember that for you to live a fulfilled life is that you can’t just lean on what you’re good at; you also have to find what you’re passionate about. Ken Coleman talks about this in his talk to Liberty University students, and he calls it the sweet spot where people are looking for their calling or where they belong in life. You can find it where your strengths and your passions intersect. What am I really good at? And what am I passionate about? How do they combine?  Not only were you, as a contributor to life are supposed to hang out, but you can generally find your audience that is meant to be impacted by your message.

 

I was living on my strengths to the point where if you lean too much on your strengths, you can be really good at something and be miserable. I was good at training sales, but because I was only looking at it through the lens of what I was good at, I was trying to connect with people I didn’t necessarily connect with. And it was burning me out. I was making good money and doing a lot of cool things, but suddenly, I started seeing my revenue go down. I started to see my excitement for life go down to where I started to get familiar with this feeling of depression that I had when I had my bad record deal. So I go to this mastermind, connect with all these people, listen to the content, and leave frustrated. I was mad because I didn’t get anything. I didn’t get my breakthrough moment. And I’m sitting here going this mastermind was a waste of money, and  I shouldn’t have done.

 

You have to realize that sometimes the value that you’re going to get from an event, a mastermind, course, or a retreat might not come at the moment. It might come as a byproduct of that moment. Mine happened a month and a half after the moment. All I did was I made a decision that I was going to stop chasing money and stop doing what I was good at. I was going to give myself permission again to lean into who I was and serve the audience that I had all these limiting beliefs around. All I did was give one phone call to somebody in a mastermind program that was taught to think differently, think outside of the box, and look at life outside of the norm. And from that came an idea that changed the trajectory of my business and my entire life. It was out of the fact that I invested in a mastermind program and got me around the right type of people.

 

Self-Education and Jesse’s Experience

 

The Mastermind Effect:  19:21

I’ve got so many stories behind that one where I’ve had that moment in the mastermind, and then I’ve had the moments after. It’s because of the people that are in it. There are different ways, and it’s sometimes it sneaks up on you. You just don’t know what to expect, but the people are absolutely critical out of the mastermind. It truly is amazing.  When you go from a scarcity mindset of how much this will cost me to an abundant mindset of the return on my investment when I invest in myself? It’s a big difference, a big shift.  

 

Speaking of masterminds, they’ve been around for a long time. The first one was the apostles. And then Benjamin Franklin creates the Judo Club or the Leather Apron Club. And then there’s Napoleon Hill, who kind of rounds it out in the book and solidifies what a mastermind is.  As self-education continues to see this huge boom, where do you see the parallels between standard education and self-education moving forward?

 

Jesse Paul Smith:  20:50

That’s a great question. The advantage of self-education is its flexibility. It gives people a chance to find a way to educate themselves the way they need to be educated. Not everybody is a textbook person. Not everybody’s a test taker type of person. Self-education gives you the ability to study things relevant to what you want to do long term.  Again, I’m not arguing our education system doesn’t have value. To have somebody spend 12 years of their life studying Science or English, and they have very little to no interest in it. But they want to dive deep into building websites. They might be somebody that the science world uses to build an innovative website. Give them the ability to go down the path that they are starting to align with. Self-education will force our education system to be a little more flexible in its offerings and how it helps students choose what they will learn about.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  22:23

They’re going to have to rethink this. The education system is still the same one that’s been around, and that was created for some pretty big families to create the worker bees. We haven’t changed that system. Self-education allows you to grow into who you want to be. Standard education has a place, and there’s a purpose for it. If you’re going to be a doctor, nurse, or engineer, I want you to have that piece of paper. But in a lot of other areas, we can fast-track it. That’s just our opinion on that one.

 

Typically, when someone invests in the future, they have a better than a vague idea of the outcome. What should people expect when they enter Jessie’s reality and work with you through your coaching and masterminds?

 

Jesse Paul Smith:  23:25

A big part of what I have learned from masterminds and coaching programs is that a lot of our issues aren’t necessarily the skill sets as much as it is the mindset. It’s the limiting beliefs that we have surrounding, a vision that we have, what we’re capable of, limiting us, or keeping us from actually experiencing our vision or goal. From going through all of the things that I’ve gone through, I’ve realized that in the entertainment business, there’s a very archaic model that it’s much like our education system that has been built on these. When I say entertainment business, I’m talking about people who want to be producers, singers, dancers, or actors. The model of you that need these certain people, like your talent agents, booking agents, and all these kinds of people to “make it.”. But really, when we have the vision to do something like performing on stage, we have that vision because we also have a feeling that we’re trying to obtain through that vision. More often than not, we have this vision because our lens is used to seeing. So we automatically then attribute to “if I want to have this happen, it’s got to look like this.”

 

I’ve learned over the years that there are a bunch of ways to accomplish living out your passion that don’t require you to go the traditional route of going to auditions, getting a talent agent, or hopefully being the one out of 500 people that show up that audition that is going to get chosen. Like everybody’s trying to go through the front door, I show people how to get in through the back door because every front door has a backdoor. I have learned that you’ve been given passions and skillsets and that you can find how those two intersect actually to do what you want to do. It might not look anything like you thought, but I’ll guarantee you that it’ll make you feel the way you expected it to feel. It’ll still be able to make you give you the lifestyle you want to live. It’ll still be able to give you the option to work with the people that you dreamed of working with. It will give you more flexibility than you ever could have imagined. And you still be able to make the impact that you want to make. You don’t have to rely on somebody else helping you get that big break moment; you can go out and create your own.

 

What we do inside of our coaching program and in our mastermind program is we help people learn how to create their own big break, how to be able to get the brand deals, how to be able to work with the kinds of people, how to collaborate, and how to be able to perform in front of thousands of people without having to go the traditional route. The beautiful thing about it is you don’t have to move somewhere to do it. You don’t have to go to some big metropolitan area. You can make it happen if you get clear on the things that we help you get clear on to go out, execute and build that big break for yourself.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  27:20

When I hear you say that, it makes me think of we are okay with yellow cab. That’s where Uber and Lyft came into play. They took a broken system that if we were still using today, think of all the problems that would still be out there. What you’re doing is you’re just taking what we look is common knowledge and saying, “I’m not okay with needing five pieces of bread to make one sandwich.” You’re cutting out the pieces that don’t need to be there and putting the power back into the people. I love when I hear something like going against the norm. It’s not going against the norm, just doing it a better way.

 

I’m sure there have been some amazing success stories. People surprise you from time to time and what they’ve been able to accomplish because they went through your coaching and your mastermind. If you wouldn’t mind sharing details and names. That’s great. If not, we respect that here on the Mastermind Effect. Would you please give us the success story of what someone was able to accomplish because they went through your coaching and your mastermind?

 

Jesse Paul Smith:  28:35

I have a client, in particular, that was struggling with leaning into the who and the why behind their business, which was really the passion behind their business. They are in a network marketing program and had done well before they started working with me.  But once we started getting really crystal clear on what were the limiting beliefs that were keeping her from hitting her ceiling.  She would hit this ceiling and come back down. When we finally identified that and started to help her realize what she was good at was adding value to the people she wanted to reach, and how that happened, she doubled their income. She went from $15,000 to $30,000 a month income in six months just from overcoming limiting beliefs.

 

The thing is, it’s not a one-time fix. The issue is now that you know what the problem is, and you know where you need to go, and you need somebody that’s going to continue helping you navigate through the rocky terrain that you have to go through to get to where you want to go. That’s been the thing that even she has said that she needed somebody that was going to speak life into her. One of the things that we do is continually speak life into our clients because they have a lot of doubt. It might look like they have it all together, especially in the entertainment spot. We’re taught to make it look like we have everything together and make it look pretty with Instagram filters, Tiktok filters, and all the kinds of filters out there. And then we have all the things you don’t see behind the scenes, which is the inner voice that we’re battling all the time. When you have somebody that’s speaking life into you, continually telling you that you can, giving you tools and strategies that you can use to overcome your own limiting beliefs, and having somebody that you’re meeting with constantly, it helps you recalibrate.

 

I usually meet with my personal coaching clients and meet with them once a week. There’s a lot of time between Wednesday to Wednesday, and a lot can happen between that time. It’s been fun to hear her talk about how she loves what she does again, and she sees herself not only connect with their business but also her husband and her kids again. Her business is not something she’s a slave to, but her business is something that she uses as a vehicle to help her do what she ultimately wants to do. It’s a lot of fun to be a part of something like that.

 

 

Defining Success

 

The Mastermind Effect:  31:42

That’s when you get to work on your business as opposed to in your business. When you work in your business, you work for the business, and you’re an employee of the business. Working on it is you get a different perspective on your passions, how to move the needle, and then the people around you.

 

When we go on the solo shows, we talk about success, the pillars of success, and what does it take to be successful and build a company around? A few of the things are mentorship, experimentation, partnerships, and willingness to fail. And on the flip side, willingness to define success, because when you define success, you, in essence, have to define failure. That’s why so many people don’t define what success is to them. What do you feel is a key attribute when it comes to being successful?

 

Jesse Paul Smith:  32:37

This is a great question, and I’ve put a lot of time into this because I’ve had to redefine success a lot of times in my journey. I used to think that success meant a certain amount of money in my bank account. I usually hear that when people say that success is not defined by money, they’re broke. And that’s not true. There have been times I’ve made the most money in my life and been the most unhappy that I have been. I find that success isn’t defined by your bank account. It’s not defined by relationships because you can have great relationships with people and be broke. And that’s not getting anywhere, either.

 

I define success around is how much peace do I have. How much peace do I have when I wake up in the morning? I personally know what it’s like to wake up with anxiety every single day. You don’t know if you can get out of bed because you have all these thoughts of chaos, and you don’t know where to go that it paralyzes you. At that time, I had a lot of money. No money could buy peace. I’ve also had amazing relationships, and being around amazing people helps, but people can’t give you peace. I’ve also had peace when the money hasn’t been as prevalent but been a lot happier. I’ve also had peace when I haven’t had the people around me that I might enjoy being around, but I still have peace. I have found that there is nothing that can substitute peace. So when it comes to success, if there’s no peace in it, there’s no success in it for me.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  34:32

I haven’t heard it define that way before. It’s so true. If you wake up in the morning and you have that anxiety all day long, there’s no moment in your day that you don’t just feel at peace. I appreciate you sharing that because I know that it’s an intimate thing to go through that.

 

A few more questions. I feel it’s easy to be successful in times of prosperity, or when the world’s winning, it’s easier to find those wins. I think ingenuity and creativity come when we feel the squeeze and the world is still feeling the squeeze. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excites you?

 

Jesse Paul Smith:  35:23

One of the things that have been a huge benefit from all of the things that have gone on is just the partnerships I’ve had. I really have a strong desire to impact people’s life. I noticed like being the kid sitting in Wisconsin with less than 25,000 people, and no attachment to the entertainment space at all and dreaming about what it would be like to dance next to Justin Timberlake. When the Like I Love You video came out for his first solo album, I would lay in bed and picture myself at the 7/11 next to him with the same black leather jacket, dancing with him and having Marty Koudelka, who was his choreographer, working with all those guys. I would think about all of that.

 

I understand what it’s like to be a dreamer. I understand what it’s like to be somebody that’s trying to make it. When I first got out to LA, I went to 100 auditions. Before I heard my first Yes, I heard 100 Nos. I remember calling people and sometimes crying because I wanted it so bad. When I came home from my audition down in Florida, I got chosen and decided who I was going to sign with; I went and told everybody that I was going to go tear up LA. So, I go there real big and get put in my place real quick. After your 10th audition, and they tell you no, you’re like, “I think I screwed up here.”  I know what it’s like to have that dream.

 

When I redefine that this is where I wanted to be and whose life I wanted to impact, one of the biggest challenges I had was that I didn’t have credibility in the industry the same way that I used to. I hadn’t been in that industry, especially in the dance world, since 2006. I had still stayed dancing, but I wasn’t even dancing in the dance industry. So, I was super unplugged. I didn’t have the influence there but I still had the desire. But what has come out of the show. This is why it’s so important. If you find who you want to impact, the “how” will come.

 

Out of our dance show, we were able to make a lot of impacts. We had 1200 Kids audition for the first season of our Worldwide Dance Challenge show. We gave first place to a kid in Guam, and he’s still getting publicity from winning the Worldwide Dance show. I was able to start to build relationships again with the dance industry. I’m working with a big-name choreographer, helping him build his coaching program so he can make an impact in the dance world. One of the things that I have realized is that you don’t need to be the one in the forefront; you can assist the one that’s in the spotlight. And to me, the impacts all the same. I’m super excited about what we’re building with him.

 

We still got Worldwide Dance Challenge Season Two that’s going to be coming around. We’ve got goals for $25,000 grand prizes. I want to change 1000 dancers’ life in the next 12 months. With this partnership with this choreographer and who’s worked with some of the biggest names on stage and still is, I think that’s going to be super exciting. He’s also agreed to come and be a judge on season two. So that’s going to be amazing. I’m just super excited about all the things that are going to happen. But again, it came from me getting clear on giving myself permission to pursue what I was passionate about and figuring out how to combine that with what I’m good at and impact the people I was meant to impact.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  39:45

What is a tip, a tactic, or an actual item that, if anyone listening to this today implemented it over the next 30, 60, or 90 days would see a real impact on their personal or business life?

 

Jesse Paul Smith:  40:20

We’ve been talking about it pretty much this entire interview, and I’m going to tell you because it made such an impact in my life. It’s the advice that I’m giving everybody. I’ve been giving it for the last year almost. The problem is it’s so simple that people overlook it because they want these ninjas’ tricks. None of that matters if you don’t get clear on these three questions.

 

The first question is, Who do I really want to impact? I know that sounds basic, but my challenge to you is not just to hear the question. My challenge to you is to answer it genuinely. Now, it took me eight hours to answer these three questions. The reason for it is because I needed to get honest. Don’t answer it based on who you think somebody wants you to say. Answer for what you want it to be and genuinely know it to be.  You’ll know it when you answer. And the reason why I knew it was because I was so scared to say that was the person because genuinely, the person that you want to impact the most is going to have the most limiting beliefs around. And so I answered my question, Who do I want to impact?

 

The second was, How can I impact them? When I got my “who,” I know who I want to impact. How can I impact them? Yes, I danced, which will give me the trust factor. I can say some jobs I worked on. But I also know what I have in my tool belt that I can give them. I knew that at the time, the dance world was shaking with COVID, much like everybody else’s world was shaking. All the places for them to perform and to compete were taken down. I use my business knowledge to build them a platform to do what they wanted: gain exposure, compete, showcase their talent, and build community. I took my skill sets, and with Zach’s help, we built it out. So that was I learned how I could do that.

 

Here’s the third thing, and this is where I think so many people get hung up because they spend so much time building a plan that looks and sounds good. They don’t ever take any action on it because it’s so complicated. We fall in love with the plan instead of falling in love with the purpose. The third step is What is the next step I can take? Give yourself a win. Some of the most profitable plans and most effective plans have just one step. So answer just the question, not what do you want to do Ten years from now. It’s great to get this big vision. The problem is that the vision is so big, so no step that you take feels like getting you any closer and getting discouraged. You need to figure out how to build momentum. But to build the momentum, you need to get wins. The quickest and easiest way to give yourself a win is to figure out the next step. That’s all you do is the next step. And then reconvene and reanalyze what’s the next step after that and keep taking one step in front of the other. I’m telling you, it will lead you where you need to go.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  44:22

We couldn’t have left it off on a better, more simple note. Sometimes the simplest things are the hardest things to see and to reach out to. We’ve got the co-founder of Worldwide Dance Challenge and the founder of My Creative District, Jesse Paul Smith. Thank you so much for spending your time today and for what you’ve given us.

Tweetable Quotes:

“If you’ll always focus on the cost, you’ll lose out on the reward.” – Jesse Paul Smith

“I found that if you want results, if you want to learn something, get close to the ones who are absolutely crushing it and just model what they do.” – Jesse Paul Smith 

“In order for you to really live a fulfilled life, you can’t just lean on what you’re good at. You have to also find what you’re passionate about.” – Jesse Paul Smith 

“When it comes to success, if there’s no peace in it, then there’s no success in it for me.” – Jesse Paul Smith

 

Connect with Jesse on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Check out his website http://www.jessepaulsmith.com/

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

115: Solo | The Misery of Uncertainty

Hey, what’s up, everyone? This week we are talking about certainty. Check it out.

Hey, everybody, welcome back to the show where you know I believe the only way to unlock your potential is to tap into the experience of others. And today, it’s the solo show, you, me, the mic. It’s a super short, impactful episode with an actual item at the end to help you get to that next level.

Here’s a quote from Virginia Satir. “Most people prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty.” Why would you choose to stay in a bad situation instead of an unknown situation?

Well, this is how I see it: continuing to stay in a bad situation slash decision is equally as damning as making a new bad decision. So how do you spot these and figure out what to do next? If you choose to stay miserable without doing anything, you lose the right to complain.

Now, you might need to write down and say, “Here are the facts and figures. What do I do next? Do I have clarity around my current situation? And how do I actually figure a way out of a bad relationship, partnership, whatever it is, that just isn’t working?”

Many people think or feel that if they just put fuel to the fire more and more, it will solve the problem. Why? I was there, too, and I thought, “Throw these resources at it, spend more money.” Also, more resources, of course, make drastic changes, so in essence, go stop. Go stop. This will drive everyone around you nuts and seriously question what you’re doing.

By doing this, you’ll create uncertainty in your own mind because there’s no mappable solution. You won’t even be able to pinpoint why there was a tiny win that you can go chasing versus a huge loss–the reality just burns everything down.

When you see that tiny win, you actually chase that and make more poor decisions. I would say if you wanted the answers, and I really should say, phrase it as guidance, a board of advisors, then head on over to The Success Finder–download the app–unless you’ve been smart enough to already do this, then I commend you. Message me over there. This costs you nothing.

There’s a group I’ll connect you with that meets once a month. It’s totally free, and they have random calls and knowledge they give throughout the week. This group is run by a couple of really smartly led people who lead with the give mentality and will welcome you in with open arms.

Resources Mentioned

Tweetable Quote:

“Why is it that quote, most people prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty? – Virginia Satir

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.