David Dube is the Founder of Only One You Need. Over 16 years ago David started his entrepreneurial career with his course ‘How to Read Anyone & Make Lifelong Clients in Just 30seconds’. Over the course of several years, David added hypnosis, NLP, CBT, and many other modalities to his repertoire. In 2014, after his mother’s second diagnosis with cancer, David co-founded CutMedicalbills.com, an online training to help individuals reduce their medical costs without hiring a lawyer or billing advocate. In 2015, David co-authored the book HD Mindset: Unlocking Your Potential Through Clarity to help his ever-broadening audience.
In this episode, we get into the information overload in finding Who your quote-unquote expert could be. David talks about how you can read and influence anyone, and David explains why you shouldn’t allow semantics in a conversation to ruin your day. Check it out!
David’s learning journey and Masterminds
The Mastermind Effect: 01:39
Let’s jump into it. Our ability to learn and access people had drastically changed over the last 5 to 10 years. When you and I were younger, they were textbooks, teachers, friends, family, co-workers, and just the people around us. But that’s a sliver of what’s possible. How is your learning changed from your early years versus today?
David Dube: 02:05
I feel that learning is so easy now, and yet it’s so difficult at the same time because it’s overwhelming. You can go on YouTube or places like Udemy and Thinkific. All these companies offer these training to everyone about all these different subjects. The problem is, who is your expert? Finding out who that one person or those several people you should be paying attention to, instead of all the noise. There’s so much noise out there. It’s about cutting out most of that noise so you can focus on who is providing the best material or the best value, at least to you at that moment.
The Mastermind Effect: 02:48
I love how you use the word noise. There’s the noise, the signal, and your bridge. The signal is most people like David. He’s going to help you find that signal, cut out the noise, and build your bridge. You don’t need to dazzle your bridge, but you need to know how to get there in the most responsible and quickest timeframe. And that’s by cutting out that noise.
Speaking of information overload, I think there are more ways to take in information than ever before. As you said, it’s confusing. Who do I trust? Where’s the noise? Where’s the signal? Some people use accountability buddies, masterminds coaches, online courses, and lots of ways to learn. Who are you currently learning from? And more importantly, how did you connect with them?
David Dube: 03:38
My mentor is kind of the mentors’ mentor. He’s a person you don’t know about unless someone else has told you about them. I had to hear from someone else who heard from them from someone else. They’ve worked with Russell Brunson, Anthony Robbins, Robert Allen, and Peng Joon.
The Mastermind Effect: 04:44
Speaking of mentors, masterminds, and just the way the world is, I feel that we get stuck. Sometimes we don’t know how to execute what’s in our head. We’re still going through a pandemic, and it’s causing a reset in how we can accomplish things. How have masterminds helped you when you’re looking to get unstuck and reset yourself?
David Dube: 05:22
There are several of us in this local area in which I live. One of my old business partners is David, and he introduced me to another David. We mastermind together and share our visions, goals, aspirations, and drives with each other, and we keep each other accountable. And but having few people that you do that with, it doesn’t have to be the world; you share it with those few people you trust, who will keep you accountable to those claims that you’re making those things and saying you want to do—having that as a resource has been a great driving force and ground you as well. When you have these visions of grandeur, they’ll help you paint that picture, especially if you have a framework in place for that.
I use masterminds on a more local basis. Albeit, we do it all virtual. We don’t meet in person like we normally would do. Doing it virtually is easier, especially for our friend who’s now out in California. That’s something I did before write the whole COVID thing. Instead of getting the other person, we do this all virtual. It works out that way.
The Mastermind Effect: 06:59
There is something to be said in person, but you already have certain standard operating procedures in place. It’s not like recreating the wheel. You’re just shifting a few items, and you can still get that value out of it. It’s smart and valuable.
David Dube: 07:21
Depending on who you are and the people you’re comfortable with. I’ve had fewer interactions in-person interactions. I remember one of the last in-person interactions I had; I felt off from how I normally am. I’ve built my business on teaching people how to interact and influence others. When you get into the person, you feel off about it because you’re not like, “Oh, I could have asked this question. I didn’t do this. I didn’t say that.”
David Dube: 08:10
We can’t lose that. That set me forward to what I’ve been putting together, a new mastermind or training on how to read and influence anyone. I need to get my game back in it. And to do that, just retrain what I’ve been doing for the last 16 plus years to my corporate clients.
Self-Education and David’s reality
The Mastermind Effect: 08:31
I was around some people recently. I had not had the energy in how you interact if you haven’t been doing it in a while. Twelve months is a while for us, and it feels like ten years. It’s amazing how you realize what you can release and accept when you start getting around people.
Staying in the subject of masterminds, they’ve been around for a hot minute. Probably the first mastermind was the apostles. Then Benjamin Franklin creates the Leather Apron Club or the Judo Club. Then eventually, Napoleon Hill writes a book about it and brings it full circle in what a mastermind is. We continue to see this large boom in self-education, coaching, and masterminds versus standardized education. Where do you see the parallels going between standard education and self-education?
David Dube: 09:33
There’s a big divergence that’s happening. The parallel is that you’re learning but the differences in how you’re going to learn and sustain that learning. I feel like depending on the mastermind, or how we go about doing this health education or this education with people in a different sphere than a standard education.
People pay money into a mastermind, and everyone shares their knowledge base. And sure, there might be one who’s the main expert in the group leading it. Depending on how they teach and interact, I feel the learning becomes so much deeper and more instilled because we learn through metaphor, story, and any other form of communication.
For example, I can tell you do A and B will happen or do B and C will happen. If I share that in a story of how that affected someone, it converts you more because it enables you to remember the steps much more readily.
The Mastermind Effect: 10:47
I love how you phrase that because we do learn through stories. If you’re out in a group of people, someone who phrases in a story, they don’t phrase it in any lesson. You see yourself through their eyes, touch, or smell because we react and we take stories. That’s why TV, Netflix, and all those platforms are so popular because we learned through this story.
David Dube: 11:14
It takes it to another realm. When you’re in a classroom, it’s kind of authoritative. It’s like I’m the teacher, and you do as I say. They have their single process for teaching it. When it’s done in the story, you have the verbal, the vocal, and the intonation of how it’s said. You also have the visual aspect of it, like the story being played out. You become a part of the character. You have your personal references that you’re referencing to that character, making it more real to you. There’s a viceralness to that. The viceralness to education makes it stick more than a teacher just telling you how to do something.
The Mastermind Effect: 11:56
The way you made me think about that in the standardized education realm. It makes me realize why I enjoyed and I was so good at History because it was when we learn about our past and what’s going on.
The Mastermind Effect: 12:21
When you’re working with someone, think about teaching through a story. When people invest in their future, they typically have a better than a vague idea of the outcome. What should people expect when they enter David’s reality and work with you?
David Dube: 12:42
It’s really about personal transformation. All of us have different wants; we all have different needs. The interesting thing about how we go about seeking change in our lives is doing it through the lens we have. When you wear glasses on, the way you look through those lenses or think of like a camera lens, multiple lenses make up a camera lens; that is how you perceive the world based on your past experience. Often, we’re searching for something, and we think it’s what we need, but it’s actually what we want and what we need is something else. To have someone with the fortitude and aptitude to listen to those things that you’re saying you want and need, but then to be able to dissect that and find the depth that’s truly desired; that’s going to unlock those things that are going to enable you to achieve those results you truly desire. Working with me is having the ability to listen to the things you’re saying, dissect them, and know that there’s a deeper meaning behind what you truly desire. Then helping you realize that and move past what it is that’s holding you back and challenging you.
The Mastermind Effect: 14:36
I feel that people have a way of surprising us from time to time; grit, the grind, willingness, and whatever it is. Would you mind sharing a success story of someone that, because they worked with you, your coaching, or your mastermind, the outcome just far exceeded what they thought even was even possible?
David Dube: 15:03
I’ll share two stories. The first happens when we are doing corporate training. I’ve done corporate training for 16 years for companies like AIG Global and US Bank. I teach them how to get rid of and influence anyone, essentially. The breakdown is understanding relationships. The better your relationships, the better your life.
I’m in the class teaching, and this gentleman comes up to me. He goes, “Hey, I’m having a tough time with my daughter. She’s at this age where she wants to go out and do things she shouldn’t want to do at her age. She’s interested in boys now. My wife and I were constantly fighting because of her. Then we’re also fighting her constantly, and it’s destroying our relationship.” At the time, I was just like, “Alright, this next lesson that I’m going to teach, you need to pay attention to and take as many notes as possible.” I just went through my normal second session with them.
Two weeks later, I received this email from this gentleman. He’s like, “Unbelievable, David, what you said is right. I took notes, and I shared everything with my wife. We started to use those tools that you taught us with our daughter. You not only saved my relationship with my wife, but you also saved my marriage and saved our daughter’s relationship with us.”
David Dube: 17:04
Story number two is about my client who had PTSD. When she was 19 years old, she would take her three-year-old niece to run errands. She picks up her niece and goes to the bank. When armed men come in, they stick up the bank. This causes PTSD in both of them. She’s 20 years of PTSD, and she would go to and get help from a therapist. The therapist would start talking to her, and she would back off. She couldn’t do it.
She meets me and hears me. She connected with me and became a client. I used to do Periscope all the time. I was running this eight-week course with her, and middle of the course, she phones me; she says, “David, This is three nights in a row, I haven’t been able to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see a gun in my face, and it goes off, and I can smell the sweat of the gunpowder, and I wake up instantly. And she goes my heart’s racing, and I can’t go back to sleep.” She said she needs help, so we talked for maybe an hour. The next day is our class, and she comes on, and she’s like, “I’ve never slept so good in my entire life.” She couldn’t do things like go into a crowded place, especially with her kids. She would always have to see them wherever they went to. She could not go any second floor or third floor, and she couldn’t be next to a window because she was so afraid. She started to do all of these things. And on Periscope, she’d see she would go live and be like, “David, I’m doing it.” Then she would do it.
The Mastermind Effect: 19:33
We talked a lot about the word success. We’re building a company around The Success Finder. It helps you cut out the noise, finds the signal, and builds the bridge. There are many things that it takes when it comes to someone’s success, such as mentorship, coaching, experimentation, partnerships, willingness to fail. And on the flip side, willingness to define success, because when you define success, you, in essence, have defined what failure means. That’s why so many of us just don’t define success. What do you think is a key attribute when it comes to being successful?
David Dube: 20:30
Our life is predicated on our definitions. If you want less hate in your life, define less words. For example, I use the word “twat”. If I said, “You’re a twat,” and I had a smile on my face, you’d be like, “Oh, that must be a good word.” But if I said it and I point to you, you’d think that it must be a bad word. It has no meaning other than what you give it when I say it because there was no real word such as that. Definitions create a reality. If you want less hate the words that have or equate to that, remove the definition. They hold no value in your mind’s eye. On the converse, if you want more success in your life, choose those words that could have greater impact or meaning for you, like love. You’re more apt to achieve it, or at least search it out because now you have a definition for it.
The Mastermind Effect: 21:42
Choose the words that mean something to you, and then define them. Give them meaning behind it. So you can tether what you want and what that means to you when someone comes in. There’s one of my pieces of appreciation, not only spending your time with the listeners and us today, but then just you’re simplifying things that we make so difficult that really don’t need to be.
David Dube: 22:25
I give you another example of how this works and why it’s invaluable. How many times have you or someone got into an argument about something you would seem like its semantics? An example of this would be, “Is the Earth flat or round?” Let me ask you a question. Brandon, have you been high enough in the stratosphere to tell me whether or not the Earth is round or flat? Should it matter to you if someone calls the Earth flat over round or round over flat?
David Dube: 23:09
You have people who think they need to engage with everyone because they feel that they know you’re wrong for thinking that Earth is flat. I don’t care; it shouldn’t matter to you because what you’re doing is you’re giving your energy to someone else. When someone calls you a name or word you don’t like, you allow them to have power over you by being offended by it. Someone saying the Earth is flat and being offended by it allows them to have power over you. They take away not only your power, your energy, but they can also ruin you in a moment because you can leave that argument feel defeated, even though you were right. It’s you wanting to be right so much that’s causing that. When you don’t attach yourself to those beliefs, you allow that person just to be. If someone’s arguing, you could jump in, and you could stop that argument from getting hotter or heated. You could also get in there and die. Something bad could happen for you just engaging because you want to be a good Samaritan. There are always reasons why you should, but there are always reasons why you shouldn’t.
The Mastermind Effect: 24:37
Sometimes you have to lose the argument or the war to win the battle.
David Dube: 24:44
The antithesis behind it is not to allow things that should be semantics to rule you.
The Mastermind Effect: 25:53
I feel there’s always new ideas brewing in times of prosperity. When the world’s winning, it’s a lot easier to win and share that. I think creativity and ingenuity come when we feel the squeeze and the world still feeling the squeeze at the end of the day. What are you working on right now that’s going to take place over the next 12 months that excites you/
David Dube: 26:26
For over 16 years, I’ve been teaching a class called How to Make Lifelong Clients in 30 Seconds. When it came to corporate training, I had to splice off portions of that and teach my personality typing. Then I had to teach communication styles and things like that. I had to break all these parts up and teach them individually for 1000s of dollars of these companies. I put them all together, and I’ve released a course on mastermind.com called How to Read and Influence Anyone because of people skills. These are skills that fundamentally transform and change people’s lives. Like I said, from that corporate training, many people send me emails about how their life has changed because of a portion of my course or my training.
The Mastermind Effect: 27:37
I appreciate you sharing that with us. You’re always evolving, changing, and just making it better and learning through that. This is over 16 years’ worth of knowledge in one’s place.
What’s a tip, a tactic, or an actual item that if someone listening to this today, implemented it over the next 30, 60, or 90 days, would see a real impact on their personal or business life?
David Dube: 28:09
I already gave the one about taking negative things, negative words, and removing their meanings. They don’t hold power over you.
One of the biggest things is listening to the words that people say, as I said before, about a camera lens. There are multiple lenses that make how that camera lens sees the world and how it magnifies. We are the same thing; our past experiences become magnified in current situations. One of the biggest problems we have as human beings is judging everything and everyone. The mind does it because it needs to. You can live a good life and satiate yourself with food, sustenance, shelter, and all those things, but beyond that, we need to be more open to things.
Listening to the words people say. The words people use are the words they reference and frame the world. When you’re communicating with someone, use their words with them, specifically. You have to use their exact words. It doesn’t work in text messaging or email. It works in video chat or in-person conversation. It changes and transforms people’s relationships. Yeah, it’s because you may have heard someone say you don’t understand me, or you’re not seeing what I’m saying, right? You’re not hearing the words that are coming out of my mouth. That’s a part of what I teach in this course that I’m releasing in mastermind.com. I specifically share those words, so you know what to listen for. It’s mind-blowing how transformative that one little thing to a world of communication. Like I said before, “the better quality your relationships, the better quality of life you’ll lead.”
The Mastermind Effect: 31:01
There’s not a better way to end it than right there. That was impactful. I want you to soak in, I want you to look up Dave, and I want you to reach out to him. What he’s saying can change your business and your personal life. He left so many unbelievable nuggets today. We’ve got the founder of the Only One You Need, David Dube. Thank you. Appreciate it.
David Dube: 31:31
Thanks, Brandon. Appreciate it.
“When someone calls you a name or word you don’t like, you allow them to have power over you by being offended by it.” – David Dube
“The better quality of your relationships, the better quality of life you’ll lead.” – David Dube
“Learning is so easy now, and yet it’s so difficult at the same time because it’s overwhelming.” – David Dube
“There’s so much noise out there. To me, it’s about cutting out most of the noise, so you can focus on who is really providing the best material and the best value to you at that moment.” – David Dube
“If you want more success in life, choose words that could have greater impact or meaning for you.” – David Dube
- HD Mindset – David Dube and Anthony Verderame
You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at email@example.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can live past beyond your limits.