104: John Hulen | Authenticity: Matching Our Online Presence with our In Person Appearance

Today, we’ve got the Founder of Relationships and Revenue, John Hulen. He explains how it’s not about electronic learning all the time and that we still have pen, paper, and books. He lets us know that one of the powers of being in a Mastermind is the collection of the people, and he gets into how our online presence should match our in-person appearance. Check it out!

John’s Learning Journey and Masterminds

 

The Mastermind Effect:  02:16

Let’s dive into this. The ability to learn and have access to people had changed over the last 5 to 10 years. When you and I were younger, they were textbooks, teachers, friends, family, coworkers, or the people around us. But that is a sliver of what’s possible. How is your learning changed from your early years versus today? 

 

John Hulen:  02:47

I wouldn’t say that I’ve been forced to go the route of electronic learning, but that is most prevalent now. For me, I love pen and paper to write stuff down. I love having actual books in hand to write in, put notes, and highlight that sort of thing. It’s very tactile for me. I don’t use it exclusively. I use it in addition to the electronic learning I do. 

 

For example, typically, I will read a book and listen to it at the same time. It helps increase the amount of information I’m able to grab and keep in my memory bank because I’m doing both of those things at the same time.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  03:33

We talked about listening to an audiobook, the speed that you listen to, and how you can take that in. That was valuable enough to where I remembered it and implemented it. Would you simplify that conversation for the listeners out there? 

 

John Hulen:  03:54

When listening to an audio book, most people are just kind of a leisurely listen. You listen to it at normal speed. If you want to speed up what you’re doing essentially, do it at 1.5 times because if you increase it by 50%, your ability to get through the book goes much faster. It sounds a little higher pitched.  I like to listen to the book one and a half times and read at the same time again. It helps me flow through it very quickly. Then later, I can go back and highlight and write things down.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  04:39

That’s pro-tip number one out of all the ones that we’re going to listen to today. But I think sometimes we complicate the simplest things. Like when you hear that, you’re like, “Oh, well yeah, that makes sense.” But are you doing it? That happens a lot on this show. I’m like, “oh my gosh, that’s so simple. That makes sense.” But was I doing it, and the answer was no. I wasn’t but you implement it. 

 

In taking in information that we’re talking about, there are more ways to take it in than ever before. The amount of information and all the platforms can be confusing. Some people learn from an accountability buddy, a mastermind, a coach, an online course, YouTube University, and many ways to learn. Who are you currently learning from? And more importantly, how did you connect with them? 

 

John Hulen:  05:39

I am a lifelong learner. I loved it. Part of it is reading, which I’ve kind of talked about just a moment ago. I learn most often from my reading. I churn through two or three books a week. I’ve funneled through them very quickly because there’s something in there that I know I need. I extrapolate it, and then I move on to the next thing. 

 

I listen to some of Gary Vee’s stuff, but not that much. One of the things you need to know about me is I am a communicator. I’m a speaker. I’ve been doing it for over 30 years. Gary Vee’s content is fantastic, but his delivery is terrible. He’s a terrible speaker, and he talks way too fast. It makes it hard for people to process what he’s saying. I shouldn’t have to rewind something four or five times inside a minute to get everything he said. But leaving that aside, what he’s saying is very helpful. There are some other people that I’m paying attention to, like Lewis House. I pay attention to the things he says. 

 

Leadership is a huge thing for me. There are a few podcasts that I never missed. One of them is the Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast. It comes out once a month. It is the best thing I’ve ever heard about leadership. Some people may be turned off because he happens to be the lead pastor of the largest church in America. But when you listen to him talk about leadership and teamwork, he rarely mentioned his team and what he does. The stuff and concepts he talks about are solid and helpful. It’s one thing to lead a company of 750 to 1000 people or more; it’s different when nearly all of those people are volunteers. What he’s dealing with are mostly volunteers. That’s another level altogether, being able to do them. 

 

The other podcast that I listened to every time it comes out is Read to Lead Podcast by Jeff Brown. He believes in order to be the best leader; you have to be a reader. The folks he brings on that he interviews are authors. I have learned about and met so many fantastic people because of Jeff and what he’s doing. I’m learning from Simon Sinek initially because of Jeff. I could pull out over a dozen books off my bookshelf right now, and I found out about these people in these books because of Jeff. 

 

I could keep going and tell you about the resources and places I’m learning from things like on YouTube. Typically, when I’m on YouTube, I’m very targeted at the stuff that I’m watching. It’s usually related to my business. I’ll watch videos about how to make videos. I’m trying to learn how to get better at it because I know, the younger the audience, the more they’re consuming their content via video. I want to get better at doing that and get better as a coach, as I’m teaching others and instructing them how to get better with their own personal brands.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  09:09

I think you got to take it from multiple sources. Someone brought up Gary Vee to me maybe two and a half years ago. I had no idea who Gary Vee was, and I was living under a rock. His podcasts are amazing. One of the people you mentioned, Simon Sinek. We had one of our Success Finder coaches and someone who’s been on the podcast and they did something with us through the podcast, send that episode over to Simon’s group or Simon’s brother, and now is looking to have some form of a partnership relationship or something that’s going on. That’s super cool—two degrees of separation from Simon Sinek and what they’re building over there. You just want to be an avid learner.

 

John Hulen:  10:08

Absolutely.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  10:09

It’s better to be more interested than interesting. And you get that when you start taking in different sources of material, you realize always be a student and always be learning.

 

John Hulen:  10:12

You were asking a moment ago about coaches and masterminds? Yes, I am a part of masterminds, getting ready to start my own set of masterminds in different fields, but masterminds nonetheless.  I have coaches of my own that coached me on different things. I have my own health coach, content and branding coach, business coach, and relationship and personal coach. I hold them in high regard and very high esteem. These are people that essentially, I’ve given permission to speak truth into my life. Because that’s how I’m going to get better when someone holds the mirror up to me, it’s like, “You say you want to get better in this area? Well, this is what it looks like. Now, let’s talk about where you say you want to go.” That’s a key there, where I say I want to go and what it will take to get there. 

 

The best coaches, to me, are the ones who are helping guide us in the direction we say we want to go. What ends up happening many times as we discover, where we thought we wanted to go is not where we need to go. We end up discovering someplace else. They help gently redirect us that way. It didn’t tell us where we needed to go, even though they already knew it. They allowed us to figure it out because that’s when it sticks and becomes ours.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  11:45

They want to be more helpful than right. Unbidazzle the bridge, get rid of the noise and find the signal. You’re like, “Okay, where are we currently? Where do I want to go? What is the shortest path there?” Along the way, you’re going to have the noise, and you have to cut that out because sometimes the noise is us or it’s social. Get rid of that noise. You just keep finding that signal and nudging us along towards like, “Oh, my gosh, it was there all along.” It’s a nice redirection. 

 

I think what happens to humans is we get stuck. Sometimes we get stuck in our own head, and we can’t see the picture through the frame. We can’t see the tree through the forest. With the world still going through a pandemic in some form or fashion, I think it’s causing a reset and how we can accomplish things. How of masterminds helps you when you’re looking to reset, get unstuck, see the picture through the frame? 

 

John Hulen:  12:42

Honestly, it’s been the collection of people in the mastermind that’s been the most helpful. I say that that’s a very generic way of answering that. But more specifically, it’s the most helpful thing that I have found in masterminds. Getting new information is great but being on the hot seat is what’s really helpful. Now, it’s not comfortable being there. When people from other perspectives and have had other experiences in their life. The point is something totally different from mine might be able to see a slight nuance about something that I’m doing. It is like, have you thought about massaging it this way, or just kind of instead of straight ahead, maybe tilt just a little bit. It’s like it makes all the difference in the world. It’s almost like you win the lottery. When stuff like that happens, it can be that revolutionary. It’s just the preponderance of experiences and ideas that are expressed that I found so helpful.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  13:52

I love when you say experiences because that’s one of the opening lines—as we learn from other people’s experiences. It’s the most powerful thing. That’s why the best mastermind facilitator and the people that they put together in a room, you’re learning from their experiences. They can help you see around corners, and they can help you before you step into a landmine. We sit there and we celebrate when people dig themselves out of a hole. In a mastermind, we also celebrate when people never dig themselves in that hole. Why is it we’re always celebrating that I fix something? Why can’t we celebrate when you didn’t break it? That’s a pretty cool thought right there

 

The Mastermind Effect:  14:33

That’s the power of a mastermind. That’s why we have the Mastermind Effect. That’s why we work with John. We work with people like John because they’re the result leaders, the activators, not the motivators. It’s great to be motivated, but you want to be activated and how you can get those results. 

 

John Hulen:  14:51

I can motivate. That is a part of my personality and part of something I do, but that tends not to happen so much in coaching. That happens more when I do my speaking.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  15:03

But when you’re speaking, you can motivate people by and activate them to get them excited. If you’re on stage, and you’ve gotten them all riled up, and a day later, they’re like, “Tell me about John.” And they’re like, “Oh, I’m excited.” What are you going to do? I don’t know. That’s not John. That is the motivator only. You have the activator with the motivator and the result leader over the thought leader. That’s absolutely who we love working with and love talking to. 

 

Masterminds is one of the big reasons why we’re here. You got one coming up. The masterminds have probably been around for a while. The first one was probably the apostles. Then, let’s fast forward when Benjamin Franklin creates the Judo club or the Leather Apron Club. And then Napoleon Hill writes a book that rounds it out what a mastermind is. As there continues to be a huge boom in self-education, coaching, and masterminds, where do you see the parallels going between self-education and standardized education?

 

John Hulen:  16:10

I have very strong opinions about those kinds of things. Let me preface what I’m about to say. What I’m proposing is not for everyone. If you’re planning to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer, we want you to go to college and get a degree. I don’t want to drive across a bridge from someone who didn’t go to school. 

However, most of us don’t require a traditional college education. I’m not saying education is a waste because I don’t believe that. But how many of us, with our current position, do something related to our field of study? Most of us don’t. 

 

My thought process is this. For someone much younger, if there’s something you’re interested in or you happen to be good at. Let’s say you happen to be good at computers; it could be on the software side or the hardware side. In most major cities, there are these companies out there, and you can go to them. It’s like an eight-month program. When you’re done, you’re certified. You’ve got these companies waiting in line to hire you. Now, if you can imagine this being 18 years old, and you are not quite a year past graduating from high school. You’ve spent or taken a loan out the equivalent of one year of college. You’re getting ready to be hired for 65 grand or more, still living at home, basically rent-free. All you have to do is pay this back with this new job you just got. That’s not to say three years, five years down the road, you decide you want to go to college. That’s fine. But most people don’t need to do that. 

 

Making opportunities or making ways for people to get better at what it is they think they want to do; we need more of that, not less of that. Let’s make it as widely available as possible. That’s why I’m doing things like creating a course for podcasters, who are content experts but have almost no training in public speaking and ways to help them get better at conveying this fantastic knowledge they have. But how they’re doing it right now is kind of boring, honestly. It doesn’t have to be boring. It doesn’t take that long to learn how to do it. You learn a few tips along the way. Then it’s practice, practice practice.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  18:46

Absolutely.

 

John Hulen:  18:47

That’s why I occasionally go back and listen to my very first episode of my podcast. To see the progress I’ve made in how I do podcasts and what I sound like doing it. I cringe when I listen to it, but it’s good. It’s at least, like, “look how much I’ve learned, and how much better I’m getting.” You got to have that baseline for what you’re doing. Otherwise, you can’t see the progress you’re making.

 

Self-Education and John’s Reality

 

The Mastermind Effect:  19:13

I feel like you listen to episode one of mine. Because in there, I think the title is my son doesn’t have to go to college. Unless he wants to be a doctor or nurse, or engineer, he doesn’t have to go to college. I kind of get into that. One of the points you made and gave an example is getting into computer technology. I read an article last year where Google’s coming out with like, here are your 136 months whatever the program is, here’s what the price point is, and here’s what we’re guaranteeing that you’re going to be able to come out of this program with. It’s an alternative to something. I think that’s what the world was already needed. The glaring problems got exasperated. I think it would be the word over the last 12 to 24 months like the value have what things are like? Do you want to walk out with a quarter-million dollars in debt or in a $45,000 a year paying job? Do you want to go to the front of the line? Do you want the Fast Pass at Disney World? Who doesn’t want the Fast Pass to Disney World? 

 

I was talking about people in general, typically, when someone invests in themselves. I think the best investment in life is yourself above the stock market or above the housing market. I’m in both of those, but I can’t control what those things do and, in turn, control what I do. My ROI on myself should be its highest. That’s why we should always invest in ourselves. What should someone expect when they enter John’s reality and work with you through your mastermind or coaching?

 

John Hulen:  20:48

One of the first things that people will find for me is that my online presence matches my in-person presence; there is no gap, there is no difference. I am the same person. I wish I could tell you that all the coaches I’ve ever met have been the same online as they were in person; they have not. For me, that’s a big thing. That’s about being truly authentic and who I am. Another term could be real and raw, honestly. 

I’ve been doing public speaking for 30 years. I’ve been coaching in a variety of forms for over 25 years. I have more than 20 years of experience in business for myself, having started seven different companies from scratch, some of which have done well, others have not. 

 

While I do know some things to do, I know many things about what not to do. That’s called learning. Failing is learning, and that’s a good thing. If someone works with me, I will push you probably beyond your limits at times or what you think your limits are. It will be very uncomfortable at times, not always, but it’s always to help you get better. My emphasis is always on you first. Even if we’re doing business coaching together, you need to understand I can’t leave the personal side of it out because you go with you to business everywhere. If your home life is a wreck, your business can never be the best. You have to learn how to get great at relationships at home because when you do that, your business will take off in ways you never expected. Even if you work for someone else, there are still relationships you have at work. Those can’t be great if you don’t know how to do it right at home. That’s part of what people can expect. 

 

When it comes to masterminds, one of the things that I do a lot is bring people in that I know are experts in various areas. They are fantastic people. People I want you to know, become acquainted with, and I want you to do business with. One of the very important things to my heart is entrepreneurs because I’ve been one for so long. Since I have this abundancy mindset, or I’m going to call it a belief set out there, it’s a part of my core, truly it is. I’m going to bring in these fantastic people that I want you to be in business with. I want you to hire them because they’re going to make you better in a certain area. They’re going to do great things for you and many of whom will partner with you. If it’s something that you want to do with them together, they’ll do that. Others, they’ll do it for you. I stay out of it once I connect you, but my job is to do the connecting, which I love doing. 

 

Those are other things you can expect from me. I bring in world-class people. I would never bring anyone to introduce to a client that I would not introduce to my own mother ever. When you make that referral, your reputation goes with it. When I make them, it’s my reputation. I can honestly tell you in over 20 years of being in business for myself, I’ve had one referral go bad; only one. When I found out about it, I went back to the person who didn’t do what he said he would do. I forced him to give the money back, and then I cut off contact with him.

 

Creating Success

 

The Mastermind Effect:  24:30

We’re a reflection of the people that we surround ourselves with and who we refer. I don’t take lightly who gets referred to the platform and the podcast because it’s a direct reflection on the vision, mission, and values of what we’re doing here. The person that does the referring, and in this case, our good friend Dave, doesn’t want that proverbial blue checkbox to go away, nor do I want that for him. If he sends you over to me and vice versa, and I mishandle it, then I’m no better than the next person. We are our reputation, and you can’t be repairing your reputation. Some things are out of our control. That’s the reality. But to repair a reputation on something, you had some say, and how it could have gone, it’s a big thing right there. You’ll find out that the degree of separation that we are from the people around us or the people we don’t even know are around us yet is blessed small. I know there are over 7 billion people on this planet. The degree of separation in the world you want to live in and that ecosystem is really small. Take note of that. Be careful who you refer and who you surround yourself with. 

 

The people you work with, or you refer out, and I’m sure from time to time, have a way of just surprising us, whether it’s the grit, grind, or willingness to learn. I’d love to hear a success story. If you can use names and specific examples, that’s great. Give us a success story of someone who went through your mastermind or your coaching program, and what was the outcome because of the room you created?

 

John Hulen:  26:16

I have someone in mind that I can use. This person hasn’t given permission to use names. I’m going to change his name only because some of what he does gets into some very sensitive things. This particular individual came to me for what he thought he needed: business coaching because his company was plateaued when he came to me. It was not like he wasn’t doing well. He and his company was making six figures. They were doing fine. He had got a couple of employees at that point doing the work. 

 

He came to me, and he was like, “Hey, I’d really like to help this thing grow.” As I started to do some discovery sessions with him, I started hearing more and more about things that were going on at home. Essentially, he was saying was, “My marriage is a disaster. It’s a mess. We’re never together, and we don’t do things. We have different schedules. The kids are going crazy all over the place. We’re constantly running back and forth doing stuff we never have any time together.” Then it was no wonder to me that when this madness started, that’s when his company started to plateau. It was very clear to me what was going on. And I just said, “Look, at this point, you’re going to have a decision to make, but honestly, my recommendation to you is that if you want to work with me, we don’t start on your business; we start at home. We start talking about the kind of person that you are at home and what you’re doing to be valuable at home.  what you’re doing to take things off of your wife’s plate.” And at that point, he wasn’t doing anything. He basically came home, sat down for dinner, and then pretty much did nothing. He wasn’t contributing to the family at all other than physically sitting. He was there, but not there. No one had said it to him that way before.

 

His wife had expressed some concern that she had mentioned things like counseling and that sort of thing. And, of course, he rebuffed that.  And we got into that. I told him that one of the things you need to understand about women is that I believe they were created with a sixth sense. There are things that women can tell the men, and we won’t get it. You need to pay attention when she’s saying things that are outside of what she normally says. When she’s saying things like, “we need to go to therapy,” you probably need to do that. I highly encourage him.  I was like, “I want you to go and meet with this guy. I want you to meet with him, see if you like him, and then tell your wife what you did that you’d met with this guy and asked her if she’d be willing to go to one session with you together with him and see what happens.” And he did that. She was blown away that he did it. That means it didn’t even take her less than half a second to agree to go.  Luckily, within a week, they set up an appointment with this guy, and she loved him. That was the beginning of some great things for them as a couple. 

 

Now, I still continue to work with him on some other things that were not necessarily therapy-related but just some ways to get better as a man at home. I mean, one of the things I had him do is to have a regular date night; that wasn’t even in their vocabulary. They picked Friday afternoons.  He would finish up his day at work by lunchtime and come home. While the kids were doing schoolwork, they would have a date afternoon together. And I said, when this is on your calendar, everything else in life, you plan around this. I’m talking about your work schedule; you plan around this. That’s how important this is for your future. If you want your company to be great, this is a building block; you have to do this. 

 

Something else I made sure that he knew, and it’s like this. The idea of this date day that you guys are doing, you own this now. Your job right now is to help her as much as possible, which means you’re taking this off her plate. She doesn’t have to concern herself with this. You figure out what you’re doing each week, where you’re going, and make sure the kids are properly cared for. All she has to do is show up and look beautiful.

 

And on top of that, I said, when you’re together, you are not to talk about things like the bills, kids, all the stuff that’s coming up, and all the errands. You start talking to her about her hopes and her dreams. You start sharing with her from your heart. And I say, at first, it’s going to be horrible. You’re going to hate it because you’re not used to it. But that is what she’s dying for. The best thing you can do is to share what’s going on with you. What are your hopes and dreams? Now, that’s not to say that you can’t talk about your business as it relates to future kinds of things. But not in those first few times that you’re going out. It needs to be more focused on you guys as a couple. Talk about things like where you want to be six months from now, a year from now, or five years from now, that sort of thing. Start thinking about future plans for when the kids are gone. They’re with you for a short little while, and then they’re gone. That’s why you need to be emphasizing your relationship with your wife and not as much your relationship with your kids. When you put her in her proper place above the children, they start to realize that the world does not revolve around them. That’s what more kids need, and they need to know that the world is not all about them. It’s like you’re serving her. By serving her, you are, in turn, serving your children at the same time. 

 

We talked about ways for them to have like these dates with his daughters and that sort of thing he hadn’t been doing. He was doing things to create memories with his kids because he felt bad over the years about not being able to do this stuff. He tried to shower them with stuff. And  I was like, “they don’t remember the stuff. They remember the time.” The time you’re spending with them. Create those for your kids, and they’re going to love that. 

 

I would say it was a tag-team effort between the therapist and me. As he started to get things figured out on the home front, we started working on some of the business stuff. Even before we got to that, he started making comments back to me. He’s like business is picking up a little bit. He would tell me about meeting with potential clients. When he was talking to them, it was like he was talking with a smile on his face. And you can tell, even if you’re on the phone, you can tell if somebody is excited about whatever it is that they’re doing or talking about. So you can hear the smile in someone’s voice. That’s one of the things I think was coming across for him. He was genuinely excited about his business again because his home life was getting better. So much better that it just totally impacted him, which he brought with him to work. It just loses out of him and his employees’ side 

 

Eventually, I ended up working with him for about a year. His business ended up increasing about 25% at the end of that year. And honestly, he didn’t start to see any significant increase for at least six months. I knew at a certain point where he didn’t need my coaching anymore. He wanted to keep going, but I’m just like, “Look, you need to fly. I’m holding you back. You’ve got to fly now.”

 

The Mastermind Effect:  36:49

The key thing is when a coach realizes he served you in the best way possible. It’s not saying that it’s time for them to level up or go, but like someone else can serve them where they’re at that point. I appreciate you sharing that story. It’s not only personal, but it’s an emotional journey that you went on with someone else. It helped transform not only the foundation, being their family but then their business from there. That’s a beautiful thing when you can get that.

 

I feel that when times are going well, it’s easier to find those wins. It’s like when the world’s winning, those wins seem to come in just a little bit easier. But I think ingenuity and creativity come when we feel the squeeze, and the world is still feeling some form of a squeeze. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excites you?

 

John Hulen:  38:18

You’ve already mentioned the mastermind. That’s something new that started for me and that I will be doing. I’m getting more and more involved with the Clubhouse. I foresee myself having my own club at some point in the not-too-distant future. I’ve been extremely excited about and blessed to have met many different people on Clubhouse, literally from all over the world, and who are asking me to come on their stages to share my experience and my expertise with folks. Every time I do it, I am so humbled that someone would even want me to be there. They’re so kind and nice, and just thanking me for things that I say on Clubhouse and things that have helped them. They’ve come back late, and it’s like, “John, I heard that thing you talked about, and I applied it to what I was doing, and it made a huge difference.” I’m thinking specifically of an exercise that I take people through to help them try and figure out what they’re supposed to be doing. It’s a simple exercise, but it is not an easy exercise. There’s definitely a big difference between those two things.

The Mastermind Effect:  39:33

What’s a tip, a tactic, or an actual item that if someone implements this, over the next 30, 60, or 90 days, they’d see a real impact on their personal or business life?

 

John Hulen:  39:48

Let me start with the business side, and then I’ll move to the personal side. If this sounds like you, this is an exercise for you. I’m trying to reach women. I can’t refer anything to you. If you tell me you’re looking to serve women, I can’t because it’s not specific enough. It didn’t tell me how old the woman is. It doesn’t tell me where she lives. I need more detail. If that’s all you give me, then you don’t know who you’re serving. 

 

Let me help you figure out who that is very quickly. Here’s the exercise. It’s very simple. It’s three questions to help you get that clarity. The first one is, what makes you mad? The second question is, what breaks your heart? The third question is, what problem do you solve? 

 

I can give an example if you want of that.  For instance, what makes me mad? one of the things that makes me mad is seeing business owners not be successful because they don’t know who they serve. They say they do, but I can’t get a clear answer from them when I asked them about it. What breaks my heart? The exact same thing because it doesn’t have to be that way. And what problem do I solve? I help business owners be able to narrow down who it is they serve. Rather than take a shotgun approach to clients, they’ve got a rifle, and they can hit that target every single time. 

 

The Mastermind Effect:  41:38

It’s not a spray and pray. It’s a sniper rifle.

 

John Hulen:  41:41

It’s helping you be able to get clarity. I will tell you this clarity comes one way. Imperfect action is how you get clarity. Taking those small baby steps, and if you fail, who cares? You learned from that. You learned what not to do. 

 

Often, I asked my kids that all the time. How’d you fail today? To jump back into the education system for just a minute. It sets our kids up to not be successful in life in general, but specifically, it also conditions our children so that when they grow older to almost be like a drone. We want you to have a brain, and we want you to think for yourself. That is an underrated skill; thinking for yourself and being able to learn that is so huge. 

 

The Mastermind Effect:  42:52

You want to fail fast. The definition of perfection means you never took off. It’s like you got to take off. Sometimes you don’t have the wheels or the captain or a wing if you want to use a plane analogy, and one of the wings might be on fire. If you have the right people around you, they’re going to help you see around those corners, and they’re going to help you take off.

John Hulen:  43:16

You asked me one other thing, a personal way of improvement. The ladies who are listening to this, what I’m going to suggest right now, this particular exercise, is something that most women do naturally, but we as men do not. It is a way for us as men to begin to get in touch with who we are on the inside. It’s a journaling exercise, and this is something you’re actually physically going to write out. This is a daily exercise.  

 

It starts this way.  You write down, Today I feel; you cannot use words like good, great or okay because those are not specific. For example, Today, I feel excited. Then you say why? I feel excited today because I knew I was going to be on a podcast with Brandon. Not only do you write down something that you’re feeling for that day, take that same feeling, go back in time, try and remember the first time you felt that way and write that down. The first time I remember feeling excited was when I was about four years old, and we were moving from our first house to what I called our first big house, and my parents let me help move. 

 

You’re writing down Today, I feel. Then you’re writing down the first time you remember feeling that way. The next thing you write down, write down something you did well for the day. If you can’t think of anything else, you can write down you brush your teeth well. To put this in perspective, for all of you, listeners and viewers, I was in a very bad place, and my marriage was a disaster. At the point where I started this exercise. The first six months of me doing this exercise, the only thing I wrote down that I did well was that I brushed my teeth.

 

Then the next thing that you’re going to do is depending upon your background. If you happen to be a person of faith, go to your faith book, and read a chapter in there, and write down anything that jumps off the page at you. If that isn’t your thing, then an inspirational book for you. Again, the same thing, read a chapter, anything that jumps off the page, you write that down. You are just writing those things down. That’s all you’re doing. After you’re done with that, from the faith-based person, write down a prayer for the day. For someone who is not, write out in inspirational thought for the day. 

 

This is not a hard exercise to do. Why would you do that? Its purpose is to begin to show you that you can feel things as a man, other than I’m tired, I’m hungry, I’m mad. This isn’t the first time you ever felt those things. As you begin to figure that out, you also get to figure out and sense something coming up inside you. The feeling. It’s like anger is a secondary emotion. It is not a primary emotion, which means something is triggering anger. As you do this exercise, you’ll begin to understand, “okay, I’m getting angry; where’s that coming from?”  You can begin to address that calmly. That’s a huge thing. That’s what this exercise will help you do. It helps you get better in touch with who you are on the inside to begin to express that to those in your life that you need or your significant others. Because if you can’t do that for them, then you can’t give them what they need. That’s the best of you.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  47:12

You deserve it, and they deserve it. I feel like we went on a beautiful, emotional journey today of self-realization. It’s not just about business, but it’s that foundation, personally, what’s going on there.

 

We’ve got the Founder of Relationships and Revenue. John Hulen. John, thank you so much for what you brought to the listeners and me in my own household today.

John Hulen:  47:37

Brandon, I was honored to be here. Thank you so much for asking me to be on here. I hope that I was able to share something of value with each of you who was listening. 

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