125: Leah Diteljan | Getting Rid of The Scarcity Mindset

Leah Diteljan is the founder of MindSpa, where she collaborates with thousands of seven- & eight-figure entrepreneurs across six of the seven continents, helping them become better leaders in their communities, homes, and businesses.

In today’s episode, she will be talking about getting rid of your scarcity mindset when investing in yourself and how one’s current job can just be an illusion of security. Leah also lets us know that we should focus on the ROH or return on heartbeats rather than the usual ROI. Check it out!

Leah Diteljan’s Learning Journey and Masterminds

 The Mastermind Effect:  01:59

Let’s dive into it. When you and I were younger, we learned from textbooks, teachers, family, friends, co-workers, and the people around us, but that’s a sliver of what’s possible. The availability to learn and access people has drastically changed over the last 5 to 10 years. How has your learning changed from your early years versus today?

Leah Diteljan:  02:23

If you were to ask my parents, they probably are super frustrated because I would resell my textbooks with plastic as I never opened them. I used to get super overwhelmed by hearing people’s tips and advice and suggestions for books to read and different things to listen in on. Now, I trust my intuition. What do I actually want to learn? What feels like it’s the right thing that I need to add to the compilation of knowledge I already have? So instead of looking externally for learning, I trust myself, like what I need to learn now.

The Mastermind Effect:  03:05

I like that. All the time, I’ve got a stack of books that people send me. It takes me a while to read an actual book. But you’re always hearing people sit there and say, “Oh, you should read this. Have you read this?” I get it that they’re trying to be helpful, but the anxiety that could build in like, “Oh my gosh, they’ve read all these books, and what have I done? Where am I going?” And it’s like, does that book pertain to what you’re looking for? That’s interesting, and I hadn’t thought about it that way. If you go out to the people that you’re around, you’re like, “Hey, I’m looking to level up in the areas of x, y, z. Are there any books that address this?” I’m digging that. I’m going to have to take that back to the dinner table tonight.

There are more ways to take in information than ever before, and it can be confusing. Some people learn from a mentor, a mastermind, a coach, an accountability buddy, online courses,            and lots of ways to learn. Who are you currently learning from, and more importantly, how do you connect with them?

Leah Diteljan:  04:16

I have a counselor. It keeps my head and heart in alignment—a great little accountability checks in for my own emotions. I have a meditation techniques/coach, and her name is Kara Lesko. She works for the Eagle Institute. She is a spiritual gift to this planet. But she also has really tactical business tools. I recommend looking at her. We were connected like many of the other mentors I’m going to mention through the Entrepreneurs’ Organization or EO. It’s a global network of business owners, amazing people who are changing the planet.

I have a couple of mentors that are both coaches. One is Dom. He’s here in Vancouver. He works mostly with huge companies in the construction industry. He’s just a great resource for me in terms of details with clients. Then, my other mentor is Anthony, and he works with clients all over the world to help them in their teams grow and scale their companies and their mindset.

The Mastermind Effect:  05:24

One of the things that I noticed there, and we had in a previous conversation, is coaches, mentors, and just different people through that. Why do you find it so important to have your own coaches and people holding you accountable to help you in what you’re trying to accomplish? Why is investing in yourself so important and having those coaches?

Leah Diteljan:  05:47

What I find so important is when that incessant chatter shows up, and I have the awareness to say, “Here it is, what do I need to do to help untangle these thoughts? What’s the emotion that I have around these thoughts?” Sometimes it’s very fleeting, and sometimes it’s the 90-second thing with emotions. Sometimes, it’s a long, perpetual train where I’m getting tangled in the answers. Whether I meditate on it for a long time or not, there might be something that somebody else has already experienced that they can really help me through it. Maybe it’s even I need to think out loud because I am a bit of an extrovert. Having that awareness, do I want to sort this out on my own so it’s a coaching conversation, and they’re just my thought partner, and I take the flashlight. They take me through the woods, and they decide to take me down a different path. Or is it a mentor, where they’re like, you need to say this to your prospect instead of this? They just give me quick, hard, fast advice. So then I can redirect and take that. I like having the different outlets because it’s like my own personal menu for my heart and mind to show up for myself, my clients, my family, my friends, and everyone that I care about.

The Mastermind Effect:  06:59

Now, at any point, did you have a scarcity mindset? I’ve had a scarcity mindset where I can’t afford to do X. Now, to be honest with you, I didn’t know about the world of coaching and masterminds when I started my first company. When I did it, it just changed things. Did you ever have a scarcity mindset, and you’re like, “I can’t afford this.” Then what got you over that hump?

Leah Diteljan:  07:21

Language is so important in having a scarcity mindset because when I use language like, “I can’t afford this,” it slams the doors in the windows, and then I’m stuck inside my own head. Whereas if I say I choose not to pay for this right now, it keeps the window open, keeps the light shining, and is still a possibility that I will be able to get there; I just don’t have the means at this current moment. I find that language choice so much more empowering than just saying “I can’t.”

The Mastermind Effect:  07:52

A lot of people get stuck when they want to execute something that’s in their heads. It’s like we get in on bushes and our weeds, and we don’t know how to navigate through that. The world is still going through pandemic, and to me, it’s causing a reset in how we can accomplish and connect what we find is important when we want to accomplish something. How do masterminds or coaching help you when you’re looking to reset, and how do you accomplish something when you’re getting stuck?

Leah Diteljan:  08:30

I’ll give you an example that was super profound. I’m standing on an airplane flying to Amsterdam, and my mentor was on the same flight. So we stood back in the galley and had a two and a half or three-hour conversation about my scarcity mindset and how I was just so terrified to take that leap into entrepreneurship and leave my job, which was an illusion of security. Through that conversation, it was him saying what the next little step is. It’s terrifying because have you created enough of your new reality to understand what you’re going to grasp onto after you take that leap? That creates scarcity and fear so many times because what is available to us right after we make the decision is so unknown that we choose to be more comfortable with the known than letting go of the known to the unknown. So instead of it being unknown, how can we create more on the other side of that decision, so it seems a little bit more comfortable and safer for us to imagine what our life looks like on the other side of that terrifying decision.

Leah and Her Experience with Self-Education

 

The Mastermind Effect:  09:44

What you just said is like, we stay in fear of the known, the unhappiness. It’s easier to know that I’m unhappy than know what could be. That’s where someone like  Leah and all these other amazing coaches or result leaders can help take you out of that. The reality is comfort kills, and the only constant thing is change. So if you have a tour guide, mentor, or coach that’s guiding you through those uncharted territories for you, it’s not uncharted for them. You’ve been there, you’ve done that, you’ve got a proven process. And that’s where you help them shine through.

Masterminds have been around for a long time. If you think about the first mastermind, it was probably the apostles. Then Benjamin Franklin creates the Judo Club or the Leather Apron Club. And then Napoleon Hill writes a book about it. As there continues to be a large boom in self-education, where do you see the parallels between standard education like books that you never unraveled versus self-education, and how it moves forward?

Leah Diteljan:  11:18

I am so thrilled that the pandemic is happening in the way that it is because it’s also highlighting another pandemic that we aren’t focusing on, which is the pandemic of loneliness. This is so important in education because education isn’t necessarily seeking out somebody else’s knowledge to better our own. Education is informing ourselves and increasing our self-awareness to make better decisions based on our trust in ourselves, which is inherent wisdom. We have all the knowledge that we possibly need within ourselves. We can add to it by going outside of ourselves to learn and be educated more. A way to do that is just understanding that our intuition is our most powerful guide. Like we said earlier about choosing things based on what we want to add to our own knowledge, asking somebody for a self-help book or suggestion or something like that will be helpful.

I see the trend going from looking outside of ourselves to looking more inside of ourselves. That’s why meditation becomes a lot more important and prominent because trusting ourselves is key to being wiser. When we trust ourselves more, we are wiser, and it invites other people to want to have conversations with us because we have that trust.

Another amazing platform that’s come out recently in the last year is the Clubhouse. It’s a platform for people to have a voice to evens the playing field in terms of people just speaking up and sharing their voices on what they’re passionate about. I think that’s really profound.

The Mastermind Effect:  13:01

Here’s the cool thing with Clubhouse. I’ve been on it here for a few weeks now. I’ve slowed my intake of how often I’m on it. But you don’t have to edit a video. You don’t have to dazzle it. You don’t have to sit there and become insta famous. What happens happens at that moment, and then it’s done. You move on. You can be impacted. You can connect with someone. You can move the needle if you choose, or you move on because what has been given is now done. After all, it’s not being recorded.

Leah Diteljan:  13:35

And what’s this pandemic encouraging is the power of presence. If there is an information overload, like you said at the beginning of this call, we can only give our attention to one thing at one time. So if we know, it’s not being recorded, that’s where we’re sharing our time and our attention. And that’s powerful.

The Mastermind Effect:  13:56

It allows you to be vulnerable, and that’s so powerful. You don’t have to be fake. You show up, and you’re you. I love that. Typically, when someone invests in their future, they have a better than a vague idea what the outcome and what they’re going to get out of it. What should someone listening to this expect when they enter Leah’s reality and work with you?

Leah Diteljan:  14:26

Our world is so focused on ROI. I like to focus on ROH, Return On Heartbeats, because we are a motivated species by creating change anchored in the behavior and the feeling. When people come to me, and they say they have a desire to change, I say to them, “Great, are you committing to creating the change for yourself, and I’ll be that thought partner for you?” If you look at me to get the value and get the change, we need to course-correct because somebody must be motivated to do that to themselves.

When people come to me, there are four things that I like to identify, which attaches to the word loneliness. Again, we’ve never been more disconnected from nature, ourselves, other people, and our purpose. So in those four things, I create an amalgamation experience where they are using their environment, their own heart, and intuition. I’m guiding them with different processes and tools to strengthen their self-awareness to make better decisions and be more confident in who they are so they can go out there and kick ass.

The Mastermind Effect:  15:37

That kind of ties into something I was going to ask you maybe a little bit later. But let’s kind of dive into that now if you can expand on what you just said in the realm of transference of risk. People transfer risk. Doctors transfer risk and say, “I’ll subscribe to this, but I’m not going to give it to my family.” Politicians say, “Hey, I’ll send this. We’ll sign this bill for the war, but I want to make sure my kids aren’t there.” How do you keep from transferring your risk and what you were talking about from yourself to your clients?

Leah Diteljan:  16:07

I don’t offer any tools, tactics, or anything that I haven’t tried myself. Everything is completely experiential. All the work that I’ve done, I’m only able to share it because I’ve gone through it in some way, shape, or form, or it’s a feeling I’ve also worked on myself.

For example, as I keep saying, loneliness is so important to me. Solving loneliness comes from creating a state of belonging. It’s an emotional state that we’re in. So I spent almost two weeks completely alone and didn’t see a soul over Christmas. A lot of people like, “Oh my god, that’s so sad. Are you okay?” It was fantastic. But being alone and being isolated is a lot different than being lonely. And so, I had to have that experience to share with clients. If you’re feeling lonely, a great medium to get out of that space is actually to be more alone sometimes.

The Mastermind Effect:  17:01

What you said right there just kind of twisted my brain. Explain a little bit deeper into why if you’re feeling lonely, you need to experience being more alone. Can you dive a little bit deeper into that, if you wouldn’t mind?

Leah Diteljan:  17:20

Absolutely. Loneliness is certainly a personal experience. In my experience with loneliness, I became lonely because I was seeking answers outside of myself. I was looking for validation from others versus true connection, and that can be so isolating. So when I’m looking for somebody else to validate how I want to be feeling, that’s just creating a bigger hole in my heart.

When I start realizing there’s a hole here, how do I heal it, and if I’m not reaching for likes on social media, I’m not filling it with alcohol, shopping, or something like that. I’m filling it with, “Oh, I’m going to start writing a book,  I’m going to take things off my one-day list, or I’m going to meditate for an hour instead of 12 minutes a day.” Doing those kinds of things helps. A simple way to start and the easiest way to solve it is to make a promise for yourself first thing in the morning and keep it every single day for at least two weeks. And without even trying, your life will change.

The Mastermind Effect:  18:33

That’s a lot, but it’s so simple. Make yourself one promise regardless. I feel that people have a way of surprising us, whether it’s their willingness to learn, drive, ingenuity, or whatever it is. Has anyone been through your MindSpa, that surprised you with the outcome? And what was that success story because they worked with you?

Leah Diteljan:  19:22

I had one client who owns a pretty large company and going through a pandemic. They were having a challenge with their leadership team. Certain things were triggering them about their leadership team. Through a conversation with me and sorting through what are the emotions coming up? Why do you feel activated by this person on your leadership team? We dug in and found out it had nothing to do with the leadership team. It was an experience that that person hadn’t dealt with, that they didn’t even realize was affecting their decision and their opinion of the current circumstance. Their judgment was so completely clouded. And so, they were projecting all of this past wound onto their executive team. By untangling this with me, they got so much clarity in their emotions and feelings. They push the emotions to the side after healing them, have that self-awareness, go in and make a strong decision, have a really vulnerable and courageous conversation with that executive who owned their mistake, and said, “Hey, I’m human, too. And I also happen to be the founder of this company.”

What it Takes to Be Successful

 

The Mastermind Effect:  20:34

When I do the solo shows, we talk about success and what it takes to be successful. There’s a couple of words out there like partnerships, experimentation, mentorship, willingness to fail, and then on the flip side, willingness to succeed. When you define success, you, in essence, have defined failure. What do you think is a key attribute when it comes to being successful.

Leah Diteljan:  21:07

It is being in a state of joy. It doesn’t matter. That’s it for me. I know if I have it or if I don’t. It’s easy. It’s measured by me. It’s not about what I own or where I’m at because I’m still alive. That goalpost is always going to change. And instead of picking something fleeting and thinking there’s a destination there, it’s how much joy and happiness I feel that I’m living every single day.

The Mastermind Effect:  21:33

It’s simple, sincere, and meaningful to the individual on the joy they have, not that someone else brings them.

Leah Diteljan:  21:46

Exactly. If you asked me that question two years ago, Brandon, it would have been like a yacht, flying around the world, cars, this and that, and holiday homes. If I’m living in a state of joy and doing exactly what I love, maybe that’ll come too, but it’s less about that and more about how I feel.

The Mastermind Effect:  22:04

It is the byproduct of what you just said right there. The company that we’re building and like the money will be the byproduct of it. If it happens, great, but the impact we can make as humans on ourselves and other people is so far greater. Money is the byproduct, and possessions can be the byproduct.

A few more questions before we wrap everything up. I feel that there’s always new ideas brewing in times of prosperity. In essence, it’s easy to win when the world is winning. It just flows a lot smoother. But ingenuity and creativity come out of times when we feel the squeeze, and the world’s still feeling the squeeze. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excites you?

Leah Diteljan:  22:51

Creating a MindSpa movement, which is a membership, so people have access to mindset tools, a community of like-minded people, can be doing basically group fitness classes for our brains. If we are going to the gym, and we’re used to spending money on our bodies, I think that’s so important. What about our brain. I’m really excited about that.

We’ve got a movement going, but I’m excited for more people to feel safe and feel like they found a community of belonging so that they can share their stories and heal their wounds. When one person heals, it’s just such an infectious and contagious percolation of the rest of the world’s healing. MindSpa movement is a way for people to feel a sense of belonging and feel a sense of inspiring to continue to heal, do the work, and encourage others to love to be part of it.

The Mastermind Effect:  23:44

We look forward to being a part of that and helping the right people find the right group because great my body’s in shape. If my mind, heart, and everything about that are not there, it will wreck the outcome that I want to have happened. That’s why it’s so important with what you’re building in the community and people that are part of that to realize what’s going on up here is unbelievably important.

Last one. What is a tip, a tactic, or an actionable item that if someone listening to this right now implemented this over the next 30, 60, or 90 days, they would see a real impact on their personal or business life?

Leah Diteljan:  24:26

I call this desire map. You can make two lines, three columns on a piece of paper. Put all your desires on the far right. Everything that you really desire, maybe pick three or four just to start. And then, on the far left, put the emotions that you have that are affiliated with each one of those desires, whether it’s conflicting or not. And then, in the middle column, put the actual beliefs you have about achieving those dreams or desires.

So what you’ll notice is if there’s any contracting emotion that’s not in complete alignment with that desire, it’s a limiting belief that’s causing you from your success from achieving that result. Our emotions are indicators of whether or not our beliefs are aligned with our desires. That’s a great way to lay it out and test ourselves and do a little on it.

The Mastermind Effect:  25:22

That’s just one thing that I love ending with that question. The reason is you can go to a conference, and you listen to someone, and you’re just like you’re so pumped up, but they left you with no actionable item. Nothing you can actually do other than you feel super jazzed. But this is like, “Hey, piece of paper, three columns, something’s not aligned, whatever. Oh, I didn’t recognize that.” What Leah just left you with is so critically important and so simple to do. So please take out that piece of paper. Then when you do it, reach out to her and let her know the impact you made. Just connect with her. It’s real simple because that ripple effect will continue. You tell her thank you. Now however, you’re acting and you’re interacting with other people out there has an impact that just continues.

Leah Diteljan:  26:00

Absolutely. When you do reach out, which please do, we can identify where you feel that in your body and create even more alignment in your whole being. Call me chiropractor of the soul so that we can align that, and then you get back to where your desires are and achieving them on the right track.

The Mastermind Effect:  26:34

I love it. The chiropractor of the soul. That is what you will be dubbed from now on. We’ve got the founder of MindSpa, Leah Diteljan. Leah, thank you so much for spending time with us today. Thank you.

Tweetable Quotes:

“I think it’s the language that’s so important in having a scarcity mindset. Because when I use language like ‘I can’t afford this,’ it slams the doors and windows and I am stuck inside my own head.” – Leah Diteljan 

“What is actually available to us right after we make the decision is so unknown that we choose to be more comfortable with the known, than letting go of the known to the unknown.” – Leah Diteljan

“Education is informing ourself and increasing our self awareness so we can make better decisions based on the trust we have in ourselves, which is inherent wisdom.” – Leah Diteljan 

Connect with Leah Diteljan on Instagram, LinkedIn or email her directly at leah@mindspacoaching.com. Check out her website www.mindspacoaching.com.

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

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