123: Lydia D. | Quiet Moments that Ignite your Life

Lydia D. is a community leader, master life/leadership coach, speaker, and diversity trainer. She’s had success with her career as an entrepreneur, a mentor, support groups member and president, board member, and president of charity groups. She is also the founder of Enter.Wellness, where she provides thoughtful and engaging executive/life coaching, group coaching, and diversity training services.

Lydia believes that coaching is a helpful way to develop yourself as an executive/person, work through challenges, or live a more focused life. Whether you are looking for diversity training or life or leadership coaching, She will always remain deeply committed to your success, challenge you, remind you of the strength you have, and provide the nurturing structure to help you accomplish more.

In this episode, she gets into why you need to take time for the quiet moments. Lydia explains why she created Enter.Wellness building four companies and retiring. She lets us know how she helps people like Congressmen, leave boxes that were created for them and step outside into the light.

Lydia’s Learning Journey

 

The Mastermind Effect:  03:41

Our ability to learn has changed over the last 5, 10, 15 years. When you and I were younger, it was textbooks, teachers, family, friends, co-workers, and the people around us, but that’s really a sliver of what’s possible. How is your learning changed from your early years versus today?

Lydia D:  03:59

So much, I cannot even express it because a large amount of it is my quiet moment. The time that I take quietly for myself. I do not read until after I’m done with my quiet moment. I do not write until after I’m done with my quiet moment because I understand giving to self first before self can receive you need a clean slate.

However, if we were going to talk about the life we live in now, definitely a large amount of technology like listening to books and reading my iPods. I find that my quiet moment is in nature. Those that I have encountered and that I have a good connection with. Those are my best learning space.

The Mastermind Effect:  04:56

We talked about taking time for yourself. The selfish moments to make yourself whole, to fill your glass, figuratively, with what makes you whole, so when you step into a room or when you step into the light, you’re good. Would you mind indulge us a little bit on those selfish moments and why that’s so important to your learning?

Lydia D:  05:29

Brandon and I talked off-air about being loved, cared for,  do not want to be left out, do not want people not to recognize us,  and do not want people not to see us because we all want to be seen. I said, where we fell in that area because we forget that to be seen, we have to have a certain amount of shininess that glow off of us to be attracted by another energy similar, if not greater than us. What does that mean to me?  There is no such thing as any big power playing out there that does not take the time to do some form of self-care. For me, it’s to wake up at 4:45 each morning. Some mornings, I am not well, but guess what? I will get off the bed, go to the couch to say I’m off to bed.

The Mastermind Effect:  06:39

It’s the tiny steps, but you’re like, I’m up at 4:45. I might not be as successful as you wanted it to be, but you moved. When you’re moving forward, you can’t take a step forward and backward. Our friend of ours recently said that.

Lydia D:  06:52

Some days, all I can do is off the bed to my yoga mat. I am off that bed to keep the mind remember shat would seem when it’s healthy again. For me, it’s to wake up at 4:45 in the mornings to dance. Once I’m done dancing and getting all that energy that goes with me, I do yoga. Then after my yoga, I go straight into meditation. That’s what works for me. For meditation, I journal, and a lot of my inspiration, insights, and creation come from there. Then I read. By 6:30 or 6:45, I’m done shining. There is no touching Lydia because my cup is filled. During that time, I am drinking water. I am hydrating okay. So by 6:30, I am so hydrated that I could spend the rest of the day not drinking, but I still continue to hydrate.

There is no room that I cannot enter for another energy similar or greater not to be attractive to this. They can see the shininess and the work that has been done during that time or that person is doing; therefore, it is attractive.

Lydia’s Multiple Coaches and Mentors

 

The Mastermind Effect:  08:25

That metallic that shines. It’s like adhesive, and it just attracts. You’ve accomplished more before 6:30 than well above average people, and your days are not even halfway over. But getting that energy going is such a key thing.

You had mentioned while we talked about all the different ways you take in information using technology. There are more ways to take in information than ever before, and it can be confusing. It’s almost it’s overwhelming because it’s like, “What platform do I use? Where do I go? Who do I learn from, and I’ve got so many different ways.” Some people use mentors, coaches, masterminds, accountability buddies, and a lot of different ways to learn. Who are you currently learning from right now, and how did you find them?

Lydia D:  09:16

I have several. I don’t know if I can mention his name, but he is in Orange County. He was introduced to me by my father. My father stated to me, “You need a counselor. If ever you cannot talk to me about whatever it may be, you can go to that person.”

I’m going to tell you the rest but to tell you how big this person is. One time I was in the process of making a decision that could have changed the trajectory of my life, he flew in to sit down and talk to me.

The Mastermind Effect:  10:04

Wow. That’s accountability. That’s protection. That’s counsel. That’s a consiglierei. That’s like everything wrapped into one. It’s like everything you could ever imagine having. Lydia made the right choice. But it was because of the people around you; it changed the trajectory of where you’re currently at. Brandon,

Lydia D:  10:31

I am telling you, I can see it’s so much clearer now because it’s been years since. I was on the phone with that person the day before, like an early morning like this. The next day they came because of how much they believed in the impact of the trajectory. I was like this.

The Mastermind Effect:  10:49

This is where you’re at.

Lydia D:  10:50

This is where I am right now. The other person that I look in and follow big time. I don’t know if you’ve heard of the book of Napoleon Hill.

The Mastermind Effect:  11:03

The guy that we might bring up later. He wrote the book and kind of defined masterminds and stuff like that.

Lydia D:  11:17

There is a gentleman that purchases the right to his books.

Lydia D:  11:43

He is someone that I have been following and had the opportunity to meet. It’s very hard for me to find mentors because I feel like I do the work. I am not lazy. I’m continuously looking for work. His first name is Satish, and he is an Indian. I have been following him for years because not only he implements what’s in that book, he met Napoleon hills, and he had one of the original books signed by him. He is one of those people who follow and know some of the things we do not know. He dissects them in a way that entered your brand to where it scarred it, and you cannot remove that scar; it’s in there. I want to be scarred.  I want to be exposed; I want to be scarred, but by those types of people.

Two other people were my mother and my father. They’re no longer here with us. However, they are continuously echoing. I had great parents. Not everybody could say that. They were not perfect. Let’s make that clear. However, I smile when I think of them.  I just smile at what they have gifted me.

It’s extremely hard for me to find those that can match the level of where I vibrate, and it can be lonely. However, I am continuously in a search which is how I find Satish. I find other people to meet where they are, and they can meet me where I am.  It’s extremely hard for me to find those very elevated people that surpass me to where I can be receiving from.

The Mastermind Effect:  14:07

You’d made a comment that they weren’t perfect. Remember this in which I know you believe it. Perfection means you never took off. When they had you, that was a takeoff. Perfection means you never did anything because there’s no set. They created, sculpted, and shaped who you are today, and you’ve continued that.

I appreciate you sharing not only the people that have helped rise around you and shape who you are but just the personal story right there and why you do it.

The Mastermind Effect:  15:17

Talking about yourself, the audience, and the people you work with, I think that we get stuck. Sometimes it’s that mentor, the coach, that helps us get outside of our own head. Over the last year, we went through a pandemic, and it is still going on. But to me, I feel it’s causing a reset in how we can accomplish things. How have masterminds helped you when you’re looking to reset yourself and get unstuck?

Lydia D:  16:00

It has helped me by reminding myself that I need to be flexible. It reminded me by going back to nature, seasons change, nothing stays the same. It reminds me that everything is in a continually evolving state. The only time something is not evolving is when it becomes stagnant, which means death. So if you are in a space where you are continuously moving, it doesn’t matter how big this move is.

Mastermind has taught me to be flexible, go with nature, and go with how things are flowing to as I am making adjustments.  Adjustment is when you’re creating within those spaces that are happening at that moment. So flexibility has been the key for me not to get stuck and stagnant and not attempting or wishing for what was because what was will never be. Be flexible at the moment, learn with the new and be in the state of continuously evolving.

The Mastermind Effect:  17:08

You hear people say what’s the new norm, or when it goes back to normal.  There is no such thing as a new norm or going back to normal. It’s what’s going on right now and what you want to shape for the future. When you can sit there and accept and then work with that, that’s when you grow. That’s when you change, and you surround yourself with the right people in the right order. Whatever you are, you’re able to create that time.

Masterminds have been around for a long time. The first mastermind was probably the apostles. Then Benjamin Franklin created Leather Apron Club or the Judo club. And then Napoleon Hill writes a book. He brings it to the forefront. He actually names it.

I see that there’s this huge boom continuing in self-education. Where do you see the parallels between self-education (coaches and masterminds) versus standardized education (college and grad school) going forward?

Lydia D:  19:02

I’m hoping it’s consulted all of those out there who created the mastermind because that way of learning is so old. Everything has evolved around it. That is ignorance for me. How is this thing sitting right there in the middle, and everything around it is evolving, and you still want everything around it evolving to literally take steps back to go to that? So that’s my answer. It needs to go that way if it’s not already going. I believe it is going that right.

The Mastermind Effect:  19:48

We’re building the company around it. It’s over a $50 billion industry now. Within the next five to 10 years, they’re looking for between 150 to $200 billion industry. So I think we’re on the right track for how we learn and see around corners.

Lydia D:  20:06

The Institute has lasted so long because society has been bred people to become and to be. It gives people that go to the workforce a space to put their kids. That’s why it’s working.

Lydia’s Reality

 

The Mastermind Effect:  20:33

We’ve talked about our kids, and we won’t go into too much detail. The entrepreneurial, the problem solving, how they will accomplish things, because of how we’re bringing them up or not relying upon the school system to shape who they want to be and what their potential is.

So typically, when someone invests in their future, they have a better than a vague idea of what the expectation or outcome will be. What do people expect when they enter Lydia D’s reality and work with you?

Lydia D:  21:20

First of all, I do not work with everyone. I have no problem with referring people. You want to work with me because I have a great interest in seeing people evolving. It makes brings me joy. I lay in bed and excited over a client that I just finished working with,

They can expect to step outside of the boxes created for them or the boxes they have created for themselves to evolve past consciousness. 46% of the time, we are operating in what is called autopilot. Almost 50% of the time, we are not aware of how we move every moment. We are subconsciously moving on autopilot. So you would want to go subconsciously and rebuild that muscle and step out of the filters created for you. That’s what I do. I go way deeper to assist you in seeing the boxes created for you by society, by your parent, by the teachers, by everything, and the boxes you have created for yourself that are stopping you from maximizing the potential you already are.

The Mastermind Effect:  22:57

How many companies have you created?

Lydia D:  23:20

Four.

The Mastermind Effect:  22:25

Why do I say Lydia sometimes is too modest? She’s got four companies successful companies. And when she works with someone to transform them to help them go subconscious. She’s done it herself because she surrounds herself with the people that helped her do that.

Lydia D:  23:51

I have worked without social media. It wasn’t until this past August that I started social media. All of my clients were coming via word of mouth in this day and age. I’m not talking about just United States. I’m talking about France, Belgium, UK, Dubai, and the Netherlands. Word of mouth, just word of mouth. I did not have LinkedIn. When people who do not know me get on social media, they’re still looking like “who is this person” because I don’t have many followers. However, if you were to hear me speak, if you were to be in one of my boardrooms, or if you were to know me, you quickly understand because, as I say, I have done the work and so is doing the work to polishing.

Who is this coach named Lydia D? You say I am modest, but sometimes I can say I get results. Coaching is something that I am doing because I love it. I retired almost four years ago from my companies.  I’m coaching for the fun of it.

The Mastermind Effect:  25:09

To get results, to wake up, and know that you’re making a difference because of that ripple effect, the pebble in the pond or the mountain in the ocean is so much greater. I wanted to expand on that just a little bit, so they realize the power that you are.

The Mastermind Effect:  25:37

I feel that people have a way of surprising us from time to time, whether it’s the grit, the grind, the willingness to learn and listen and be around the right people. Has anyone been through your coaching whose outcome surprised you not because of who they were but also because they worked with you? Suddenly, they had two paths to take, kind of like what you had, and then your mentor flies in, they go this way, and it changes the trajectory. They go this way. And it’s not the trajectory anyone’s looking for. Give us a success story of someone that’s worked with you, and what was the outcome?

Lydia D:  26:36

I have someone I am very excited about right now. He’s a congressman. I cannot tell you his name. We’re still at work, but the outcome we are receiving now surpassed what I could possibly think. He feels the same way. I have a year contract with him, and I am looking forward to where his year-end. That’s my excitement to see where he already is because now, he has surpassed what we have entered to do the work that we have entered to do. So I am looking forward to seeing what the end goal

The Mastermind Effect:  27:22

Can you sprinkle a little magic on there?

Lydia D:  27:28

One of the struggles that person was having is they could not see the value that they’re.  Everything that they were doing, they were doing with motion. But it was an emotion. It was I am that person internally. I see myself as that person. But it was all motion. Does that make sense? Because people can pretend very well. However, to make the maximization needed, you have to go internally and embody that person.

So far, I don’t know if it’s from the practice of pretending. So subconsciously, it has entered so quickly that person is maximizing, surpassing what he was already prior previously doing. Now it’s not motion. It’s emotion.

The Mastermind Effect:  28:28

I appreciate and respect the fact of anonymity on that one. I love hearing that and how you’re able to bring that person’s power to the forefront. The fact that you’re like, “Hey, I’m looking forward to the end.” Now, that might be the end of whatever, but it is the end. It’s positive because the end is inevitable.

Lydia D:  28:56

That’s right. However, that will be the end of that contract that we have. My clients, they’re not ever for me. They’ve become my friends. They become family to me.

 

Defining Success

 

The Mastermind Effect:  29:34

When I’ve worked with coaches or talked with just different people out there, successful men and women, we talk about success and what does it take to be successful. There’s mentorship, willingness to fail, experimentation, partnerships, and willingness to succeed because when you define success, you have an essence defined failure. And that’s why we’re so afraid sometimes to define what’s success is. What do you feel is a key attribute to being successful?

Lydia D:  30:38

The key is this. There is no such thing as failure. There’s no such thing as struggle. There’s no such thing as heartache. It is only here to redirect you. It is only here to teach you. It is only here to elevate you. Stop, take a deep breath, and be not discarded. Pay attention to the alarm that’s been sound and see what it is here to teach you or redirect you to. The moment you stop utilizing and affirming failure, chaos struggle and giving them those names that create negativity behind them and see them exactly with the lens of what they are here for, which is elevating to the next stage, learning from what it is,  paying attention to that alarm that is being sounded. There’s a reason that the alarm is sounding. Pay attention to it, and the lesson will come you will elevate. However, if you cannot see it for what it is, to learn the lesson, you become what most people call struggling, stuck, do not have the sight to see how to move forward and see it for what it is.

The Mastermind Effect:  31:52

See it for what it is. Face it head-on, address it, and don’t run from it. It helps to surround yourself with the right people because they’ll help you see around the corner, and they’ll help you through it.

Lydia D:  32:07

That’s right. However, others will be quick to assist you if you can assist yourself. If they see, she’s going to get up from the chair. I’m going to support her to get off the chair. If you can see the alarm that’s being sound for what it is first, others will be more willing to assist you in seeing the alarm for what it already is. But if you see the alarm and you’re like, “I am in such a struggle state right now,” they will be more like, “I don’t know if I can pull you out of the struggle state that you are in.”

The Mastermind Effect:  32:51

It’s a lot of energy that another person is going to have to expel.

Lydia D:  32:59

I teach how to see things for what they are. I teach how to go subconsciously to create that foundation for where the alarm showed up. You can see it quicker. I have a whole system that I go to because it makes a difference.

The Mastermind Effect:  33:20

We’re getting closer to the end here. I feel from time to time, depending on what practice we’re looking at, people transfer risk. A politician transfers risk and says, “I’ll send this child off to war, but I’m not going to send my own children.” A doctor will sit there and say, “I’m going to prescribe this medicine for you, but I’m not going to give it to my own child.” How do you keep in the coaching world from transferring risk to your clients and letting them know you’re in the right place?

Lydia D:  33:59

Again, it’s that work a coach has to do and is to be continuously going. You can only elevate your client to the stage that the state that you’re in. You cannot give them more than you are, what you have, and what you’re receiving for the next mastermind you have entered yourself into.

To give you a quick example. COVID took me for a loop for a second with my clients. My clients were coming to me in a different state of mind. They were no longer talking about the business and culture of my company. They were no longer talking about things like, “I’m getting ready to do this deal. How do we best move forward? How do I best mentally prepared for it? We’re no longer talking about the things they were talking about, “I’m no longer traveling. I cannot golf. I’m home all the time. I cannot do the work that I need to do. I’m overworking. Is my company going to survive? And how do I get prepared for this?”

So I had to go back and study. The Great Depression was one of my lessons. I had to go back and learn what they did during the Great Depression, how they survived it, who survive, and how they did that. I had to go back during wartime and go back to history because I had nothing. I literally took off three weeks and just dived. When I emerged back, my clients were like, “Are you kidding me, Lydia? Now I understand.” You can only meet people where you are. When you do not have what is needed, take the time out, pay the money, get the knowledge, disappear, go into meditation in learning, and do what it is that you need to do,

 

 

The Mastermind Effect:  36:20

You are allowing them, but by you taking those three weeks to become a practitioner and learning from history. History will continue to repeat itself because we’re humans. But that three weeks that you took off allowed them to learn from you because they went from a scarcity mindset to an abundant mindset because they’re like, “Oh, well, I got this.”

Lydia D:  36:42

However, it takes a bigger person to realize that I can only meet my clients wherever I am. I am as good as the last book that I read. I am as good as the last wonderful conversation that I’ve had. I am as good as whatever mastermind or whatever you want to call it.

Therefore, I am going to repeat it. The reason Enter.Wellness was created after my retirement was to remind me of who I am with the hope of you remembering who you are. By continuously being in the learning process and continuously being reminded of who I am, I can only be better in your presence. I can only remind you of who you are. I can only assist you,

The Mastermind Effect:  37:36

I feel that there are always new ideas brewing in times of prosperity, like when the world’s winning, it’s easier to get wins; they feel like things are going right. But I think ingenuity and creativity come when we feel the squeeze, and the world in many places is still feeling the squeeze and will continue to feel that. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excites you?

Lydia D:  38:40

I have this mastermind coming to Atlanta called  Enter Wellness, presented by Lady D. It’s July 9 to the 11th.

The Mastermind Effect:  39:53

Last one. What’s a tip, a tactic, or an actionable item that if someone listening today implemented this for the next 30, 60, or 90 days, would see a real impact on their business or personal life?

Lydia D:  40:07

Quietness. Pick time out for quiet moments. I take time out for quiet moments three times in one day. My morning is the longest one. I have midday, and I have one before bedtime. Take time out to realigns yourself. Quietness is productivity. You create more after the quiet moment. You are more centered, more aware and your senses become aligned.

The Mastermind Effect:  40:50

I can sit there and say I had a wonderful one. I just never really thought of it that way where I had my quiet moment. I had my workout, which was a quiet moment. And then, in the shower, I had a moment of clarity from all the quiet moments before that. Then two hours later, I’m on a conversation that if I hadn’t had those quiet moments and then realized this clarifying moment in the shower, I wouldn’t have been able to serve and understand where this person was coming from. And coincidentally, you and I both know the individual, Mr. AJ. Our conversation had a different trajectory because of those quiet moments.

The Mastermind Effect:  41:31

We have got the founder of Enter.Wellness, Lydia D. She created this because she had such an amazing career after retiring, like what you would give back, what you were going to do, and where you were at. Please check her out, reach out to her. Here’s the great thing, you’re not going to find her all over social, you can get her on there. The results that she’s able to get are because of her own experiences and the people she surrounds herself with. Unbelievably meaningful what she’s able to do because she’s got that foundation. She created the foundation before she could do that for a purpose. If you want to know what we’re talking about, reach out to her. She’ll explain to you why you need that foundation so you can then create that purpose. And that’s what she continues to do for herself, her family, and the people with her.

Lydia D:  42:34

They can get in touch with you. You can direct them to the right coaches. If they are unable to find me, they can find you, and then you can redirect them to the right person.

The key is not to stay stagnant. The key is to be in a learning space continuously. The key is finding that person who can mirror you appropriately to move you to the next level. You do not want to be around here flapping your wings and don’t know where you’re going.

The Mastermind Effect:  43:18

Lydia, thank you so much for everything today.

Tweetable Quotes:

“Be flexible in the moment, learn with the new, and be in the state of continuously evolving.” – Lydia D. 

“There is no such thing as failure, there is no such thing as struggle, there is no such thing as heartache. It is only here to redirect you, it is only here to teach you, it is only here to elevate you ” -Lydia D. 

“You can only elevate your clients to the state that you’re in” – Lydia D.

Connect with Lydia D. on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Check out her website https://www.enter-wellness.com

It’s time to Stand Up, Show Up, and Level Up! Download The Success Finder on Apple and Google Play Store.

You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

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