118: Dr. Yishai Barkhordari (Solo) | Understanding the Gap Framework

I’m Dr. Yishai, and I’m hijacking the solo show to talk about my framework, the gap framework for creating lasting change and transformation.

I want to talk a little bit about what I call a gap framework. That’s an understanding that the way change happens can either really be a threat for ourselves or a business, or it can be an opportunity. But creating and harnessing change that’s happening isn’t always easy. There are three important phases for change and creating lasting change in yourself, which are important and meaningful. Between each of those phases and even after those phases, there are gaps. When we fail to traverse those gaps, when we don’t have those bridges built, and we can’t make it from one phase to the next, that’s where change falls out from under us. I see that over and over and over again. I see it in entrepreneurs. I get calls, and I speak with entrepreneurs daily. Some of them are just starting. Some of them are leaders or CXOs of large corporations.

I spoke to someone two months ago, and they just called me the other day again. When I spoke to him two months ago, they talked about something and asked me for advice. So I gave them some advice and pointers. I offered them some direction and some things to think about and to do. Then two months later, just the other day, I get this phone call. They had gotten over that crisis, but they just came back and asked more or less for the same piece of advice. For some reason, it didn’t get in or settle in.  So for me, it prompted me to make sure that I understand what’s going on for them. I’m also thinking about whether or not they would be an ideal client. Whether or not there’s someone who is interested, willing, or able and where they’re missing those steps where their gaps are.

The first piece I want to talk about in the gap framework is gathering. The first thing we need to do is gather info and data. If we don’t know what’s not working, it will be impossible to make a change. If we don’t know what we want or need to change, we’re not going to be able to make a change. It’s hard to do something differently if you have no idea what isn’t working, what you might need to or want to accomplish, and how to go about it. Gathering is all about consumption. The thing about that is 90% of people who buy info products or courses don’t complete it and don’t get their results. That’s why I think people say information is free because all the information in the world doesn’t create change. There’s an old ad back then when cigarettes were first advertised as being not so great for you and unhealthy. All these ads about how cigarettes were harmful didn’t reduce the amount of people who were smoking cigarettes. It increased people’s smoking. So the thing is, just having information doesn’t create change.  There’s a gap in that process. One of the secrets there is just taking information and just consuming doesn’t really change necessarily how we think or how we process, nor does it lead to the second step in the gap framework, which is applying.

Applying is all about “how.” It’s not about what we want to do or what needs to change. It’s about how do we then take new information, knowledge, experience, wisdom, or something that somebody else is giving us and apply that for ourselves. Now there’s always a process. That process is we need to attempt, observe and calibrate. You need to try something, check out whether or not it’s working or how well it’s working, and then make shifts and changes and tinker with it. That process is about achieving, getting results, and improving your results. I dive into that much more in my podcast, The Business Couch with Dr. Yishai, Episode 123, called Why Small Imperfect is Better. It’s really important to apply something, understand how to apply it and why and how that process works or when it doesn’t. It’s a huge piece of this because there are people who attempt to observe, calibrate, and try to change and over and over and over again. However, they’re still struggling, failing, not getting what they want out of it, or not really accomplishing or moving towards the heights that they want to get to. That’s the second phase of this gap framework.

The last phase is proficiency or mastery. There are two kinds of pieces to that. One is, it’s so important to recognize that anytime you want to make a change, you are going to be under development; you as a person, as a learner, or as somebody who’s picking up something new. Most of us don’t understand how to structure that as a developmental process. My psychology background has taught me a lot about developmental processes, from infancy into adulthood and across the lifespan. Also, understanding that whenever we’re learning, acquiring a skill, or trying to change how we think and what we do, that there’s a process, and you need to be intentional about how you structure that process. Otherwise, what can happen is people can try or pick up or do something and even get some improvements. But then, as soon as they stop having that support, as soon as the course is over, as soon as they stop seeing the coach, or whatever it is that’s pulling or pushing them along, it can’t fall out from under them. There’s a lot of different ways that can happen.

Another important thing to understand is that proficiency and mastery are about crystallizing or creating a new identity, a new self-story, and what we say and know about ourselves.  The gap here, where a lot of it fails, struggles, and doesn’t get what they want or get where they want, is that in becoming someone new, in essence, transformation, it’s not simple. It’s not a straight line. It’s not just that you do something once, twice, or three times, and suddenly you’re a new person. It’s not just you decide to be somebody else. You determine your identity is suddenly different, and now you’re a master at something.

Whether you’re looking for coaching, getting into a program or a course, purchasing an information product, trying to get something from someone’s experience, going to a mastermind, or whatever it is that you’re doing to make improvements, it’s really important to be intentional with this process because you’re trying to create a transformation for yourself and your business. If you spend money on someone who doesn’t understand all these different pieces and isn’t putting them all into every part of their program, then you’re not going to get everything that you want or need, and you’re not going to get that lasting change out of it.

Resources Mentioned

Tweetable Quotes:

“Adapting is not just for surviving, but the key to thriving.” – Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

“Just having information does not create change, and so there’s a gap in that process.” – Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

“Anytime that you want to make a change, you’re going to be under development.” – Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

Connect with Dr. Yishai on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram. Check out his website https://www.dryishai.com/.

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You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

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