117: Dr. Yishai Barkhordari | Adaptability as a Superpower

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari is a psychologist, executive coach, and consultant who helps leaders of multi-million dollar companies turn adaptability into their superpower to react powerfully, increase performance, and create win-win solutions that lead to growth in their business and beyond.

 

In this episode, Dr. Yishai, also known as the Adaptability Coach, talks about how our learning happens in the context of the relationships we’re in and around. He also lets us know that there are so many opportunities in masterminds to get people’s ideas from different industries and explains how these can benefit you. Lastly, Dr. Yishai talks about the reason why adaptability is your cutting edge skill. Check it out!

 

Dr. Yishai’s Learning Journey and Masterminds

 

The Mastermind Effect:  02:25

Let’s dive into it. When you and I were younger, our ability to have access to different people and learn had changed over the last 5 to 10 years. When you and I were younger, they were textbooks, teachers, co-workers, family, friends, and the people around us. But that’s a sliver of what’s possible. How is your learning change from your early years versus today?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  02:47

I think it’s grown by orders of magnitude. I will just acknowledge that I was born into a Jewish bubble, which meant that the people I knew were very closely connected to me through the religious community. And as far as being able to pursue something that I wanted to pursue, like information, knowledge, wisdom, guidance, and mentorship, it was so much harder for me to move out of that space. The only way to move out of those spaces, at least for me initially, was to go to graduate school, pick up books, and read them. Sometimes I could try to reach out to people, and reaching out to people always felt intimidating and a very hard thing to do.  I didn’t do this much because I was in a Jewish bubble, and I’m personally a little bit shy.

 

Now, there’s so much more connectivity. It’s changed for me in a huge way. It used to be like I felt I needed to reach out to people myself or ask my parents, cousins, uncle, aunt, brother, and someone to introduce me to them. Somebody I knew, had a personal history with, a professor, mentor, or somebody I already built a relationship with.

 

At this point, I do reach out to people all the time, like on LinkedIn. I look for people with shared interests or commenting on something that somebody else has posted or commented on. So, we get to have these interactions with people that I had never really been exposed to or I hadn’t been able to get connected with.  Before the internet, I grew up in an age where AOL was just starting. There were these chat rooms, but they weren’t a place for me to learn and grow more. It was a kind of felt like a bit of a social experiment.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  04:41

I think we all grow up in some form of a bubble and have that safety net in what’s acceptable and what’s allowed. Sometimes we need to be either allowed permission, or someone from that other bubble has to let us in?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  05:34

It can be hard to move out of our own bubble, and it can also be challenging to feel welcome in another bubble.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  05:41

Absolutely. As you said, you’re breaking out of that bubble, per se, asking less of questions like, am I allowed to do this, and who should I do it with. Tools like LinkedIn allow us to still sit there and have that introvert safety zone, but at the same time start having conversations that might otherwise not even exist.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  06:06

Absolutely. It’s through some of those ways of reaching out that I ended up founding and creating my own podcast.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  06:14

Give us a little glimpse of what the podcast is about so the listeners can understand.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  06:25

The Business Couch with Dr. Yishai is kind of like if you took a psychologist and an executive coach, you had them sit in the room with an entrepreneur or a leader, and you got to be a fly on the wall and listen to what unfolded. There’s digging into the parts of the business, leadership, entrepreneurship, the human side of it, the adapting, or the necessity of adapting those pieces. That’s kind of what the entire purpose of the podcast is, and that’s what you get out of it. Sometimes I like to say that it’s kind of like the mastermind you get to sit in on for free.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  07:01

I’m part of a free mastermind called Thursday Night Boardroom. You are on your way in there. Sometimes those are the best ones to be in—we get to look from the outside in and see what happens. It allows us to have ways to access more people and information.

 

The amount of information that we have now is a bit overwhelming. Some people learned from a mentor, a mastermind, online courses, accountability buddies, and lots of ways to learn. Who are you currently learning from, and how did you connect with them?

 

 

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  07:41

I need to give credit to Travis Chappell. I joined a mastermind of his. I met four or five really amazing entrepreneurs who have their own podcasts like Meghan McNeil, Eric Music, and Amber Turman. You’re going to hear a lot of that because I got connected to them, and I heard so much about podcasting. It opened up that door for me. It’s something that I hadn’t thought of or viewed as being a reality or possibility. I thought of it as something only people who have production teams and have been in this business for ages or years could do. Then I was hearing from the inside, having exposure and getting connected to them. There are 5, 6,7, or 8 entrepreneurs just in that group, and through them, I got connected. Every time I have somebody as a guest on my podcast, I’m learning from them also. I learned deeply from every one of my guests.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  08:48

This podcast right here, The Mastermind Effect, I get to learn for free. Then we can listen to it afterward, and we get to learn more. I can’t implement everything that I learned here, but I figure how it pertains to me specifically and then how I can plug that in my own Rubik’s cube. To sit there and say, “Hey, can I utilize this? Is this going to help me become more efficient and happier? And if so, then let’s do that.” It’s amazing having people on your podcast; it’s free learning. And then we, as the podcast hosts, give that out to the people, and it’s free learning for them if they choose so.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  09:26

For me, it’s also really important that every one of my guests gain something out of the conversation. Also, it’s really about them getting insight as well. I like to think about it as a win-win. I get to learn, they get to learn and gain insight, and the audience gets to learn and gain insight. If it’s not a win for everybody, then why would I do it? Why would the guests do it? And why would the audience and listen if each of us is not getting something really important meaningful out of it?

 

The Mastermind Effect:  09:55

We want to learn for multiple reasons. One of them is sometimes we get stuck in our own heads, and we don’t know how to get out of our own way. It’s like we can’t see the picture through the frame, or we can’t see the trees through the forest. The world’s still going through some form of a pandemic, but to me, it continues to cause a reset and how we can accomplish things. How have masterminds helps you when you’re looking to reset and get unstuck?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  10:23

One of the things that have been really important to me is that learning happens in the context of relationships. I’m going to tap into it. So by day, I’m a psychologist, and I’m going to add a disclaimer, I may be a psychologist, but I’m not your psychologist. And so please make sure you do your own research before taking what I’m saying.

 

From a developmental standpoint, the way children learn from the time they are born is in the context of their relationship with their caregivers. There are so many caregivers that we have across our lifetimes. Some of them are on equal footing. As we’re adults, my wife and I care for each other in many different ways. We take care of each other’s needs. And there’s something really beautiful that evolves out of that relationship. I learned tremendously about myself and her. As children,  whether it’s in preschool with our teachers or middle school or in that relationship with our parents, we learn about ourselves, the world, how to make our way in it, and how to adapt. So learning fundamentally happens in relationships.

 

There’s tons of research on this. When it comes to having a therapist, the biggest factor in terms of the therapy being helpful is the relationship between the therapist and the patient. And again, all of that is to say not everybody needs to have a therapist. The whole point there is it’s the relationship and that context of the relationship that is meaningful and important, whether it’s one on one or you get more people in the room. When you get more people in the room, you get multiple different perspectives that can come together to create something that doesn’t exist in the context of just one perspective. It’s the reason that if you raise a child away from all humans, they will not learn the same if you raise them in a group of people. There’s a reason we say, “it takes a village to raise somebody.” I think it doesn’t just exist for children; it exists for us across our lifetimes.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  12:41

I hadn’t thought about it that way. And that’s why we have you on the show. It’s not just from childhood, but it’s a continuation. And that makes more sense. When you have that caring household, you see someone who teaches the Good Samaritan, but then also practices of the Good Samaritan, as opposed to, they might teach it, but then they don’t do it. It’s probably because of who we have around us and how we continue to raise ourselves or the people around us; caregivers choose to care for us.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  13:13

Children have one job.  Their single job is to learn what the world is, how to make their way in it, how to get their needs met, and how to be a part of it. What if leaving childhood does not mean that we stop having that mission? What if our single job is still to learn about the world, how to make our way in it, how to be a part of it, and how to contribute to it?

 

The Mastermind Effect:  13:41

The child doesn’t leave itself, and we take the child-like mentality, the curiosity, and the learning. We were like, “Okay, you’re old enough, and now you can’t have this.” But when we do that, we crush the idea of why can’t we be adults continue to learn, have that curiosity mentality, saying anything is possible, and how you’ll go about the rest of your life when you don’t change. Your age changes, but your lens, per se, continues to expand.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  14:17

One of the things about learning and learning from the people around us is we learn about how to see the world and how to interact with the world. We do that in the context of the group, whether it’s caregivers, friends, family, or co-workers. We do it in that context. And I’m going to connect this to masterminds. What happens in a mastermind or in a group where you pull people from all these different contexts is that they create a new environment, a new context, where each person brings in their own learning, and we all get to learn from them that.

 

It’s like a bunch of ingredients, and each of those ingredients is like a different person in that mastermind. Each of those ingredients grew, developed, or came from its own place. So if you have salt, it came from somewhere, but it came from one context. For salt to be helpful or useful, you want to put it with pepper and a steak. Then you want to pair it with a side, and maybe a sauce. So each of those is one different context with one different background. Each of us as a person learns from our own context and environment. The beautiful thing about a mastermind is you put all of these different ingredients together, and they’re all incredibly important. They create something different that coming from our own contexts. We all learn that one thing.

 

When you were talking about how we grow up, we take that child out of us because we learn how to be the one thing we need to be in that context. When we step out of that context, and the world is so much bigger. This is something that many young adults experience. When we step out of high school and into college, we walk into a whole different environment. There’s a whole set of first, especially for people who are living on campus. The whole world starts to open up. This is one of the reasons how much growth and change happens at that time. There’s so much changing context. It’s like throwing a bunch of ingredients together.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  16:30

When you put those ingredients or the people in different industries and how they come together, it can create a perfect Symphony Orchestra of what’s possible. You might be this ingredient over here, but this ingredient over here, you’re able to pull from extract its flavor, its seasonings, its experience, and its ideas and say, “Oh, I might be different, but I can plug and play this into what I’m doing.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  17:15

I can add a little salt to my dish. I can put a little paprika. I can put a little cinnamon in there. It makes such a huge difference. Again, if we are only sitting with our own thoughts, it’s kind of like putting salt on your plate and then putting more salt on it and trying to eat it. You’re going to get a one-note. You’re going to get one flavor. It doesn’t mean that salt is bad. It doesn’t mean that salt is unhelpful or not useful. There are many circumstances under which it’s incredibly important, helpful, or useful.

 

For any of us who are entrepreneurs who are leaders, we have these backgrounds, a set of skills, this way of thinking, and it’s ours. So we get to own that, we get to do that, and we get to be that. Where growth happens, where learning happens is in the context of the relationship with other things.

 

Getting into a mastermind, the person who’s running the mastermind is like a chef. They can choose the ingredients they’re putting in and be very intentional about that. Some chefs are just so good at putting ingredients together; maybe some you didn’t even imagine would fit together. Other chefs struggle with that, or they’re learning. It’s really important to be aware when you’re signing up for a mastermind or when you’re getting into a group. What are the ingredients? Who’s the chef? You got to trust the chef. If you don’t trust the chef, it’s like going into a restaurant, and you don’t know the chef. It’s important to be intentional about it.

 

Self-Education and Dr. Yishai’s Experience

 

The Mastermind Effect:  18:44

Since we’re talking about masterminds and with a food analogy, they’ve been around for a long time. Probably the first mastermind was the apostles. And then, from there, Benjamin Franklin creates the Judo Club and Leather Apron Club. And then eventually, Napoleon Hill writes a book about masterminds. As there is a large boom in self-education, coaching, masterminds, mentorship, where do you see the parallels between self-education and standardized education?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  20:02

Education, as a system, has been directing itself towards professional and specialized work. In some arenas, it’s done in a much more standardized way, like you were talking about nursing and doctors like myself. I went to grad school, got my master’s, got a Ph.D. And I got a license. There’s all of that that comes with doing that kind of professional work.

 

For people interested in what Michael Gerber calls technical work, it’s really important to have technical education. Even there, there are a lot of different ways to do that. There are apprenticeship systems. They are very old, and they exist for a reason. Even in the medical field, or my field of psychology, we get supervision. We have somebody who reviews the work we do, gives us feedback, sits with us in the room, or watches our videos or recordings, and with whom we discuss these things. So the professional education side of it is melded itself towards very particular kinds of technical work. Even parallel to that, there are increasing amounts of self-education for certain kinds of technical work or much more specialized work.

 

Nowadays, more MBA programs or computer science do things like software engineering specifically for apps, or marketing targeted towards a particular industry, or a certain type of marketing. On the other hand, there’s so much skill that goes into that. I see a lot of self-education moving into areas where the traditional standardized education isn’t necessarily teaching technical skills. But I also want to take another step back and say, technical skill is not the only skill.

 

I’ll give an example of my grad program. They had a few different speakers come in, but I didn’t have a course on starting my own business or even a psychology practice. The business skills, entrepreneurial skills, vision skills, marketing skills,  and these different pieces of it weren’t part of the technical education that was in the standardized education.

 

Another very important piece of this is in this self-education space, there’s so much room to get the different ingredients or get people from different industries and learn about principles. Whether it’s a business or personal growth, or so many different parts of our lives, there’s so much that we can continue to learn. And that again comes back to your “our job is not only to learn like children.” But as we move into adulthood, we are also still learning, so there are so many opportunities. I just see that space expanding in terms of self-education.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  23:00

I think you’re going to see both grow. But right now, you’ve got over a $50 billion a year industry with self-education. In the next five years, they say it will be a 150 to $200 billion industry. You have to have the right chef or mastermind host and pick the right ingredients or the right type of people to help move that room forward. Because a lot of the time, it’s the people in the room where some of the biggest value comes from. The chef or mastermind host orchestrated it, but it’s all the ingredients and all the people that come along with it that make for the right dish.

 

When those individuals that are in that room or the people in the mastermind choose to invest in their future and I think investing in yourself is higher than the stock market and the housing market. I’m in both of those, but I can’t control what happens to the housing and stock market. I can, in turn, control my return on my intention or my investment in myself and the people around me. What should people expect when they choose to invest in you and, in turn, invest in themselves and work with Dr. Yishai?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  24:12

I’m going to answer in two different parts. One is that I think the skill of somebody who runs a mastermind is how they create that environment and how they facilitate that environment, which I think is incredibly important. That environment can be just you and them in a one-on-one coach, and it can also be in a group with multiple people

 

What I focus on and what I think is so incredible and so important is the environment we are in. It is an environment, like you were saying, where there’s so much information. We live in such a data age that information is not our limiting factor any more; it’s our ability to adapt as information is really multiplying.  It’s our ability to harness that information, select our direction, stay motivated and make sure that where we’re headed is where we want to be headed.

 

So for me, what I think the kind of cutting-edge skill is adaptability, which is really what I focus on. Adaptability is our ability in any set of circumstances to extract really important data about what’s happening and what we want or need to happen about what’s going on internally for ourselves and externally in our environment. It’s about direction. What direction do I want to be headed in? Do I need to change direction, or how do I change direction?  It’s about our drive and our motivation. Sometimes you may hit the gas, and sometimes you need to hit the brakes. So when it comes to the way that I conduct or direct, it is really about you learning how to harness the way our brains are designed for adaptability. The human brain is uniquely designed for adaptability. It’s one of the important reasons that we are the dominant form of life on the planet; our ability to adapt is a critical part of this. If you could tune into that and know or had the tools and frameworks to harness that, it can change everything.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  26:36

It’s when we choose to adapt. Adapting or being adaptable could be saying, “Hey, I’ve been in this room, and it’s a room full of all my colleagues, all the people in the same industry, I need to unadapt to that and grow and adapt to being comfortable with a room of people that are not my colleagues, and they do and things differently. What I’m hearing is that you help people grow into that to adapt to the room that might make them feel uncomfortable. But they need to grow and learn.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  27:14

In a lot of ways, yes. There’s the old saying that Darwin said, “We adapt to survive.” I think the next step in our evolution is adapting to thrive. It’s the difference between proactive adaptation versus reactive adaptation. The stepping into where I want or being intentional about how to get there, there’s a part of our brain that’s designed to help us do that. It’s designed to anticipate our future and help us direct ourselves and be motivated to get to that place. You can learn to tap into that. That is what I do all day when I’m adaptability hacking. That’s what I think about all day long. It’s my passion.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  27:55

Please give us a success story of someone that has been through your adaptability and what the outcome was because of that. If you can use names and specific examples, that’s great. And if we have to have it anonymously, we completely understand, but give us a success story.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  28:17

There are a few that come to mind. There’s someone who came to me, and they were really struggling with overwhelm. It’s a very common experience for a lot of entrepreneurs, especially when they just get started, that there’s always more to do than you ever potentially have time for. There’s always more that we feel like we’re putting on our plates. There are so many different directions to go and so much to do. A lot of people really struggle with overwhelm. As it turns out, though, overwhelm is actually a part of that system that’s designed to help us adapt. Overwhelm is designed to give us very specific information and push and pull us in very particular directions.

 

They came in overwhelmed because they were taking on too many projects. They were also doing way too much on their own, and so they just overloaded their plate. So I helped them understand. I said, “Let’s pick apart overwhelm and hack into the adaptability piece of this overwhelm. Overwhelm shows up under a very particular set of parameters. Overwhelm does not happen if I’m sitting in a room and I’ve got nothing to do. We just don’t get overwhelmed by that; we get bored. But we do get overwhelmed when our load is greater than our limit or when we’re carrying above our capacity. That’s significant. The way most people respond to their overwhelm is they ignore it, they get burnt out, exhausted, or drained, and they can’t do it anymore. Then they throw off as much of the load as they can, trying to make it match their limits. I said, “Look, you can keep doing that because it’s a cycle I see all the time. You can keep doing that if you want. But you’re not really tapping into the adaptability of your overwhelm.”

 

Your overwhelm is giving you data. It’s telling you that your load is greater than your limit. It’s giving you direction. Because of this really simple formula, you have two angles of attack. One is to address your load; the other is to address and expand your limits. They tend to be to show up in different circumstances. When people are acutely overwhelmed, that’s a moment where you need to address their load because they’re getting crushed under it. That’s where most people find themselves because they’re not consistently paying attention to it. But secretly, underneath that is you need to expand your limits. You need to carve out and prioritize expanding your limits. That’s a consistent process that you need to carve out time to do, and there are so many different ways to do that. You can create systems, processes, and training. You can learn to do things more efficiently. There are so many ways to expand your limits. There are tons of businesses designed to help people expand their limits for their business or themselves.

 

I helped this particular entrepreneur learn to identify and listen to their overwhelm and learn to identify the ways in which their particular flavor of overwhelm. The particular flavor of overwhelm is communicating to them about the limits that they have that need to be expanded and about the load they’re currently holding. There’s a process of picking that apart and digging into it. And of course, learning to become more adaptable is not something you can just like sign up for a half-hour and get right; it is consistent work.

 

Over time, they learned how to listen and understand the variations in how their body and brain were telling them through their overwhelm about what’s happening for themselves and their businesses. And what ended up happening was, they learned to expand their limits consistently. They learn to anticipate because their overwhelm is helping them anticipate it now instead of just ignoring it and telling them when they’re already getting crushed. So they learned to build the road ahead and build the bridges over the canyons before running over them. And it made all the difference. They turned overwhelm from being the drag into their rocket fuel.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  32:55

I love the overload and how that works in there. I can see your bandwidth and what’s coming in. How can we kind of take this so you continue to have that feeling that your bandwidth is not at capacity?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  33:27

That’s a really big piece of it. When we are above our bandwidth, everything about our productivity, quality of work, and output is all gone down—our motivation tanks. At first, we’re often really stressed, and we’re trying to get a lot done. One of the big mistakes people make when they’re getting overwhelmed is they try to borrow all the time they can from all the wrong places. They stop eating lunch, taking their walks, and working out. And there are all the different things they’re doing, trying to increase their bandwidth, but they’re doing it last minute. As opposed to what if you knew that every time you were going to go above your bandwidth, you could see it coming. I’m going to use the internet metaphor. You could call up your service provider, upgrade your modem, and your bandwidth would double. What if you know how to do that? You can learn there’s a system in your brain designed to help you do that. You get intentional about it. It changes everything.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  34:22

If you can see it before it happens, you can notify your provider, your people around you, whoever it is; they can start unloading certain pieces that you might see like, “Oh, I need to have,” and  they’re like, “No, we got this, and we’ll bring it back to you.”

 

One of my favorite ones was a few weeks ago with the Success Finder. I was on this email chain and just kept coming and coming. I didn’t feel anxiety. Then I finally emailed back. I’m like, “I believe in you guys. You got this. Just show me the final product.” Seeing all the emails come across and once I mentioned that and once I let that go, it freed them up mentally. And that’s the reality. We don’t need to see everything. You put the people in the right order inside your Rubik’s Cube, and they will take part of that off there. They will help that bandwidth always stay to have a little bit more room to continue to grow and learn.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  35:22

What I’m hearing are the kind of gimp and the bandwidth. It is that people were coming to you, and so you became the rubberneck for the bandwidth. When you release that, the bandwidth expanded, and they were able to do and think more. They felt like they could do it more independently. They knew that you had their back that you trusted them. Does that mean it’s going to be perfect? No. Does it have to be perfect? No. It means they don’t need to come to you every time for every little thing, thought, or decision in advance. That expands the bandwidth because now, there’s so much more time and freedom in our working memory or our capacity to do things at the moment. It sounds to me like that was the kink in the hose, as you would put it before.

 

Defining Success

 

The Mastermind Effect:  36:12

Sometimes we’re our own kink in the hose. We have to release ourselves from it, and it releases so many other things going on there.

 

I get a few more questions as we get closer to the end. I feel that in times of prosperity, it’s easier to find those winds; the winds just kind of roll in as the world wins. But I think ingenuity and creativity come when we feel the squeeze and the world still feeling the squeeze in all different aspects. What are you working on right now that will take place over the next 12 months that excites you?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  36:44

I am excited to put together a group, whether it’s group coaching or mastermind. I want to make sure the ingredients come together and create the recipe that’s desired and helpful. I’m looking forward to being able to put a group together, where people are learning how to tap their adaptability, holding that together and coming at it from all these different perspectives, and being able to really with each other learn how to imbibe that, both for themselves and then from each other.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  37:20

We hope to be a part of that.  We hope to help with that growth inside of the Success Finder and guide you along that way.

 

What’s a tip, a tactic, or an actual item that, if anyone listening today implemented this over the next 30, 60, or 90 days would see a real impact on their personal or business life?

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  37:55

Many of us were aware that we have a gut. Our gut tells us to do things. Some of us ignore it or don’t pay attention to it. Some of us pay attention to it in some ways and then ignored it in others. I want to say it’s not always necessarily helpful to just go with your gut.

 

If there’s one tip I would give you, it is whenever you’re noticing a gut reaction, intuition, any reaction, feeling, or emotion, you slow down and say, “What is it trying to do for me? Let me try to understand it. Where is it coming from? What is it want? What is it perhaps perceiving or helping me try to anticipate? At its core, that is the adaptive brain trying to help you adapt. It’s either anticipating something or trying to help you respond to internal or external changes, whether it’s for yourself or your business. That is what it is designed to do.

 

Slow down and ask yourself, whatever that is, whether it’s a gut reaction, an emotion, a feeling,  an intuition, an inkling. Listen to your body and your brain. It could be self-doubt. It could be so many different things. Just slow down and ask yourself what information is trying to give me. Where would it want me to go? What is it trying to do for me? How’s it trying to direct me? Because it is trying to do that. Again, it doesn’t mean that it has a total grip on reality. And that’s why it’s important to slow down and think about it. Being intentional with it can make a huge difference.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  39:30

Being intentional with your emotions and being able to tether them to a previous experience so you can see what’s happening as it’s happening a little bit faster this next go-round. I’ve always said, “Hey, I wear my emotions on my sleeve.” And slowly, those sleeves are getting longer, and it’s not having to wear it and becoming reactionary through an emotion. It’s actually like how do I take in the data that’s happening, how it’s making me feel and what is the best appropriate response to genuinely move through that, as opposed to having it cripple me.

 

Dr. Yishai Barkhordari:  40:04

That’s the entirety of adaptability from my perspective. That’s the big change and transformation that can happen. Again, there are a lot of mistakes. There are a lot of things we learn about emotions that contribute to that. In this viewpoint, there’s a difference between emotion and action. Behavior and emotion are not the same things. But often, they can be so connected because our emotions are there to influence our behavior. When we’re not aware of that, we can think that the behavior is just a result of the emotion as opposed to saying, “What if my emotion is there?”

 

Again, to come back to it? I call them the three Ds of adaptation: data, direction, and drive. Emotions are designed to give us data about ourselves, our environments, and our needs. It’s there to give us direction. If you can understand that and slow that down, you can harness it. From my perspective, there’s no such thing as a negative emotion; it is just an uncomfortable one. And even uncomfortable emotions have a purpose. If you choose to harness them, it can be incredibly helpful. If you don’t, it can absolutely push you around.

 

The Mastermind Effect:  41:12

It can be like opening a present slowly. Take off the bow, unwrap the paper and work your way through that full emotion so you can give it its justice. It gets able to work its way through, but you can realize what it can do for you and how it can help you move the needle.

 

We have got the adaptability hacker himself, Dr. Yishai. Doc, thank you so much for your time today and what you have given us. I’m looking forward to listening to swinging. Thank you so much.

Resources Mentioned:

Tweetable Quotes:

“Learning so fundamentally happens in relationships.” -Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

“It’s the relationship and the context of that relationship that is really meaningful and really important; whether it’s one-on-one or you get more people in the room.” -Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

“What if our single job is still to learn about the world, how to make our way in it, how to be a part of it, and how to contribute to it.” -Dr. Yishai Barkhordari

 

Connect with Dr. Yishai on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram. Check out his website https://www.dryishai.com/

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You can connect with me, Brandon Straza, on LinkedIn, Instagram, or send me an email at brandon@thesuccessfinder.com. I’d love to get in touch and talk more about personal development and how you can move beyond your limits.

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